He Is Twice The Man

, , , , , , , , | Right | October 18, 2012

(For the Halloween season, we’re running several horror houses, which aren’t otherwise open throughout the year. Light-up devices aren’t allowed inside any of the houses, and as a queue supervisor, I’ve been warning people of this via a cute spiel I made up.)

Me: “There are no light-up devices allowed inside. It will make it easier to find you, and you will be eaten alive most violently!”

(A guest, who seems to have had both legs amputated and is using a wheelchair, speaks up.)

Guest: “But I’ve already been half-eaten!”


This story is included in our Wheelchairs Versus Ableism roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
5,082

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2011

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

1 Thumbs
1,544

Doesn’t Take A Genus

, , , , , | Right | January 13, 2011

(A father and his young daughter are at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

Daughter: “What animals are these?”

Father: “I don’t know, honey. I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

1 Thumbs
1,743

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2010

Customer: “Wait, that’s only supposed to be twenty dollars cheaper.”

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s after the mail-in rebate. You have to send in the paperwork and proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you give me the discount now and send in the rebate yourself?”

Me: “No, that’s not how this works. You are responsible for sending in the rebate yourself.”

Customer: “You mean you’re making me responsible for my own money?”

1 Thumbs
2,195

Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

, , , , , , | Right | November 11, 2010

Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus, our savior!”

Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

1 Thumbs
3,378