Sub-Standard Recognition Skills

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I walk into a gas station and witness this exchange. A middle-aged man has a simple purchase, a bag of chips, and is attempting to use a card at the register, but it won’t scan. A small line begins to form.)

Clerk: “It’s not going through. Can I see the card?”

Customer: *starts to make a scene* “This is ridiculous. I just want to pay and get out of here!” *keeps trying to scan the card, but eventually hands over the card to them*

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir; this is a gift card for [Sub Shop]. This is [Gas Station]. Unfortunately, I can’t take this card; do you have a different one?”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t [Sub Shop]? No wonder you don’t have the chips I like!” *throws the bag of chips at the clerk and storms off*

Clerk: *visibly shaken* “Well, now I’ve seen everything. We don’t even make subs here.”

Manager: *to the clerk* “You should go take a break. That was a little intense.”

Me: “At least he didn’t try to order a sub. He would have really had a bad time.”

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Never Rains But It Pours

, , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

Me: “Hi! Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’d like to return this visor I bought yesterday. It fell apart after I only wore it one time.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you want to exchange it for another item?”

Customer: “No, I just want my money back.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. May I ask how the visor is damaged?”

(She proceeds to pull out a soaking wet, flimsy grass visor.)

Customer: “I only got to wear it today; once it started raining, it stopped working!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a grass sun visor that isn’t meant to get wet.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to hold up longer than just one day!”

Me: “And it does hold up for longer than a day, when used for its intended use of blocking the sun.”

(She then ran out in a huff because I wouldn’t refund her money for the damaged sun visor that she wore in the rain.)

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A Hurricane Of Inconsideration

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

(My coworker and I are at the area where we park strollers for our attraction. It’s the day before Hurricane Irma is supposed to hit the town, and the park is just absolutely dead. We have some guests, but not many.)

Me: *to a couple of people coming toward us* “Good morning! Please head down to your left!”

Guest: “I know it’s terrible that these catastrophes have happened, but they’ve really opened the gates for us! No lines!” *heads down to the left*

Me: *turns to my coworker* “Did she really just say that?!”

(Apparently the prospect of people losing their homes and their lives was fine if this woman didn’t have to deal with lines at a d*** theme park.)

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Never Been A Big Fan Of Labels

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2017

(It is 1998, and I have one caller who can’t get his CD-ROM to read discs. The drive has already been replaced on a previous call, so I know it isn’t the hardware. I spend over an hour with the user on the phone trying different CDs, reseating cables, uninstalling and reinstalling drivers, checking the registry for bugs, and anything else I can think of. The caller is an elderly gentleman, so every step takes twice as long as usual to explain and have him complete. Finally, I am at my wit’s end.)

Me: “Okay, let’s go ahead and put the disc in one last time.”

Caller: “Okay. Wait, it goes in label-side down, right?”

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Try The Imaginarium Down The Street

, , , , | Right | August 24, 2017

(I am working in a store that mostly sells t-shirts and since the store is located in a big tourist area and nearly all our customers are from out of state or country, we’re encouraged to mess and joke around with our customers. One day I’m working the register when this exchange happens.)

Me: “All right, your total today is going be [amount].”

Customer: “Do you take credit cards?”

Me: “Yup, we take all forms of payments… except imaginary money. We can’t accept that, unfortunately.”

Customer: “Darn, I’ve got a lot of imaginary dollars piling up at home, too.”

Me: “You should take it to an imaginary store and go on a shopping spree, then.”

Customer: “You might be on to something there.”

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