Isn’t Able To See The Situation Clearly

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2017

(On this New Year’s Eve, not only are we incredibly short staffed, due to a sickness bug that led all of the senior staff to call out sick, but both of our directors and our manager are away at a regional meeting. Because of this, I am running our in-store call centre — that is usually staffed by a team of three — all on my own.)

Me: “Good morning, [Organisation]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to order some contact lenses, and I need them for a party tonight.”

(I take the patient’s details, needing to check her prescription and if she is in date, but she has never had contact lenses with us before, only a sight test over eight years ago.)

Me: “Ma’am, have you had contact lenses from somewhere else? If I can get a copy of the prescription we can see if we have them in stock.”j

Customer: “No, I’ve never had lenses anywhere else! You’re obviously an idiot if you can’t find it. This happened last time as well, and they just gave me lenses.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve never had lenses from this store. There is no record at all of you having had any. Are you sure you haven’t been to another opticians?”

Customer: “You stupid f***! I want to speak to your supervisor!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any supervisors in today.”

Customer: “I want a manager, then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no managers in either.”

Customer: “Well, then, give me the owner!”

Me: “Neither of the store directors are in today I’m afraid. If you want to speak to anybody more senior than myself, there should be a manager in four days time.”

Customer: “Then who the f*** is running the store?!” *hangs up*

(Just as I take a deep breath, glad I don’t have to speak to someone so rude, the phone rings again.)

Customer: “I need to order some contact lenses, and I need them for a party tonight. The stupid woman I spoke to before was so rude to me. She swore at me so I want them for free.”

Me: “Ma’am, it was me you just spoke to.”

Customer: *hangs up*

(After the fourth time she tried this, I wrote down her phone number and ignored the rest of her calls. She never bothered calling back on Monday for a manager!)

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The Solution Is As Clear As Glass

, , , | Healthy | December 29, 2017

(I need to get new spectacles, so I get assessed. During the sight test, the optometrist notices I have the start of macular degeneration in one eye, tells me it isn’t serious at the moment, but warns me to watch out for lines appearing wavy when they should be straight. She gives me a leaflet to put on my fridge door, so that I’ll look at it several times a day and be aware of the need to check. She also instructs me to come straight back for another test if anything changes. This all freaks me out a bit because I’ve never heard of macular degeneration, so I dutifully put the leaflet on my fridge door and inspect that thing every time I go in the fridge, for about a month. I start noticing the sight in my left eye is quite blurry. So, off I trot back to the optometrist. I explain everything to the receptionist, then the optometrist, a different one to my first visit. He sight-checks me then leaves the room for a few minutes. He comes back in and asks if I mind him checking again. I don’t mind, but by now I’m sweating and my imagination’s working overtime. He does the same tests and asks me to explain again what the problem is.)

Me: “Look. I cover up my right eye…” *demonstrates* “… and you’re blurry. I cover up my left eye instead…” *demonstrates* “… and you’re not blurry.”

Optometrist: “Well, Mrs [My Name], both sight tests we’ve conducted today show no changes to the other test we did recently.”

Me: “Seriously? But I’ve definitely got strange vision in my left eye? How is that, if the test results are the same? Look, doctor, if it’s psychosomatic, tell me. If you think I’m dreaming it up because I’m so worried about losing my sight and I need a psychiatrist, just tell me straight. I really can handle it.”

(By this time, I’m near tears. I don’t know whether I’m losing my sight or my marbles.)

Optometrist: “Show me again.”

(Demonstrates covering up the eyes, etc.)

Optometrist: “I… might be a bit off course here but… did we provide your glasses?”

Me: “Of course, yes.”

Optometrist: “It looks like the common denominator is your glasses. Let’s get them realigned and see.”

(Aaaand I felt a fool. Mind you, so should they, too. My ‘demonstrations’ of blurry vs normal sight were done wearing my specs. The sight tests had been done WITHOUT my specs. It turned out there was a minuscule adjustment needed for the left lens. He brought my specs back and the blurred vision was gone. At least I know I haven’t lost my marbles yet. Not about that, at least.)

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Oh The Eye-rony

, , , , | Healthy | November 19, 2017

(I walk into my optometrist’s office and find a new secretary. I’m curious about what happened to “Jane,” the last one, especially since “Jane” and the doctor were married! I’m the only one in the office right now so I decide to be nosey:)

Me: *after the preliminary sign in conversation* “So, Jane is no longer here?”

New Secretary: “No, she’s gone.”

Me: “I’m surprised considering her relationship with the Doctor.”

New Secretary: “It was all very awkward, Jane needed to start wearing glasses but she refused to. The doctor had to fire her because she was giving out the wrong prescriptions to people and messing up things like that.”

Me: “Ooh, that’s not good. Wait, she was married to an optometrist and worked in an optometrist’s office and refused to wear glasses?”

New Secretary: “Yup. I shouldn’t say this but I believe it was a case of vanity gone wrong. They’re getting divorced now, too.”

Me: “Gee, I wonder why?”

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An Eye For A Tooth

, , , | Right | August 14, 2017

(I work as a receptionist for an eye doctor and one of my main duties is answering the phone and speaking to patients. A patient calls in.)

Me: “[Name] Optometry. How can I help you?”

Patient: “Hi, this is [Patient].”

(I look him up in our system to find that he is indeed a patient at our office.)

Patient: “I wanted to confirm my appointment with [Doctor] for this Tuesday for a tooth extraction.”

Me: “Sorry… did you say ‘tooth extraction?’”

Patient: “Yes?”

Me: “This is an OPTOMETRY office.”

Patient: “Oh… Sorry.”

(We both laughed and he went to find the number for his dentist. The weirdest thing is, the doctor he mentioned DOES work here, but you certainly wouldn’t want him to pull any of your teeth!)

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Making A Spectacle Of Your Stupidity

, , , | Right | June 7, 2017

(I answer a call:)

Caller: “Hello, my son just received his new glasses and I don’t think they’re right!”

Me: “What is the matter with the glasses?”

Caller: “They’re way too strong!”

Me: “Is the child complaining of discomfort or blurry vision?”

Caller: “No, but when I put them on I can’t see anything! They must be too strong! When I look around the room I can’t see anything! I can’t imagine that my child sees anything either!”

Me: “Well, those glasses would not prescribed for your vision. They are prescribed for your child’s vision because you see differently.”

Caller: “They are just too strong and I’m not gonna have my child wearing these!”

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