Making A Spectacle Of Your Stupidity

, , , | Right | June 7, 2017

(I answer a call:)

Caller: “Hello, my son just received his new glasses and I don’t think they’re right!”

Me: “What is the matter with the glasses?”

Caller: “They’re way too strong!”

Me: “Is the child complaining of discomfort or blurry vision?”

Caller: “No, but when I put them on I can’t see anything! They must be too strong! When I look around the room I can’t see anything! I can’t imagine that my child sees anything either!”

Me: “Well, those glasses would not prescribed for your vision. They are prescribed for your child’s vision because you see differently.”

Caller: “They are just too strong and I’m not gonna have my child wearing these!”

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If Only You Could See What You’re Saying

| Right | May 15, 2017

(I’m an optical assistant, and regularly deal with patients having difficulty with their glasses. This exchange happens more regularly than I would wish.)

Patient: “I’m having trouble with my glasses. I can’t see very well at all when I’m not wearing them.”

Me: “When you’re NOT wearing them? How is your vision when you ARE wearing them?”

Patient: “Well, I can see fine when I’m wearing the glasses; it’s when I take them off that’s the problem!”

Me: “The glasses only correct your vision when you’re wearing them, and looking through the lenses. If you want to be able to see well, you need to wear your glasses.”

Patient: “But I can’t see without them!”

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That’s Too Close For Comfort

| Related | April 17, 2017

(My mom is trying on glasses.)

Optometrist: “How’s the comfort feel?”

Mom: *looking at all the glasses* “Which one is that?”

Making A Complete Glass Of Yourself

| Right | March 3, 2017

Lady: “Excuse me, but I sat on my glasses in the car and I’m on my way to a wedding. Is there anything you can do?”

Me: “Did you purchase your glasses here?”

Lady: “No, I’m from out of town.”

Me: *feeling bad for her since she is going to a wedding and we all like to see* “Well, let me take a look, ma’am. The way these frames are bent, it is very likely that they will break if I attempt to adjust them. We can’t be held liable if that happens…” * I go into our legal spiel thing we are required to say* “…if you decide to take the risk I will be happy to try and straighten the frames out for you, free of charge.”

Lady: “Oh, please, just go ahead. I won’t be able to see otherwise!”

(I do and the frames break as I predicted.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, it looks like the metal was just too stressed to be bent back the other way. Tell you what, let me see if we have any frames that will fit your lenses and I’ll give them to you.”

(This is crazy super nice of me, but I know I can get away with it and hey, she is going to a wedding and I am a sentimental 20-year-old girl. She agrees, and all is well. I find 5 frames that will fit her lenses. She refuses ALL the frames.)

Lady: “I want frames EXACTLY like my old ones!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t purchase your glasses here, we don’t appear to have that exact frame. I’m willing to GIVE any one of these five frames too you so you can make it this wedding.”

Lady: “No, no, no. I want my old ones. Can’t you fix them?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the metal is broken. If you really want those frames you might take them to the jeweler located in the mall. They might be able to solder the earpiece back together. I think it’s about $30 for that kind of work.”

(She agrees that would make her the happiest. An hour later she is back.)

Lady: “Here is my receipt; I’d like to be reimbursed now.”

Me: “Umm… We don’t do that, ma’am. It was your choice to have me attempt to fix your frames and as I explained they were probably going to break. It was your choice to refuse the frames offered to you and go get those repaired instead.”

(She goes ballistic. It escalates to my manager, and then to her demanding the number to corporate, which I give her. They tell her the exact same thing. She is escalated her up I don’t know how many times. Each time she receives the SAME answer. Finally she slams the phone down and whirls to face me.)

Lady: “Not ONE of you is LISTENING! I don’t want your stupid company to pay my $30! YOU are the one who broke my glasses! YOU OWE ME $30 OUT OF YOUR OWN PAYCHECK!”

(I am floored. upset, and about to call security.)

Me: “I work THREE jobs to put myself through school, ma’am! And I can’t even afford to eat but once a day! So where exactly do you think I will find $30 to give to someone who SAT ON THEIR OWN GLASSES?!”

(She saw security behind her and huffed out the door without another word.)

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Can’t See The Gravity Of The Situation

| Right | January 28, 2017

(Part of my duties as an optician is fitting and adjusting eyeglass frames. One day, a woman comes in to get her frames adjusted. I look everything over and the fit looks fine.)

Me: “What problem are you having with the fit?”

Customer: “Gravity is pulling down on one side more than the other and making the frames crooked.”

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