Can’t See Why Some People Become Parents

, , , , , | Healthy | February 24, 2019

(Ophthalmologist’s offices in Germany have a rotating system of which office has to stay open for emergencies on the weekends. Today, it’s our office’s turn and I’m manning the front desk. A couple comes in with their five-year-old daughter. She has a very red eye and says it hurts a lot. I take their info and ask how long she’s had those symptoms.)

Mother: “I think since this afternoon — a couple of hours maybe.”

Me: “Okay. Did something happen? Did she get something in her eye?”

Mother: “I don’t think so; I was watching her all the time.”

(The mother looks a little annoyed at my questioning and the father just nods, apathetic. I give some numbing eye drops to the girl to ease the pain and send her right to the doctor. My coworker follows in, only to come back out some minutes later looking rather angry.)

Coworker: “Guess what? This girl has a metal splinter burnt into her cornea.”

Me: “She has what?”

Coworker: “Yes, her father let her watch him using the angle grinder without safety goggles.”

Me: “And he didn’t think that might be kind of… dangerous?”

Coworker: “Apparently not. I’m getting the instruments to get the splinter out.”

(My coworker goes back in to the doctor and they start trying to get the metal out. After a while, the couple and the girl storm past me out of the door, the mother looking angry, the girl rather relieved with a patch on her eye, and the father pouting. My coworker and the doctor come out right behind, looking exhausted.)

Coworker: “WOOOOOW!”

Me: “What happened?”

Doctor: “The girl was wriggling all. The. Time. [Coworker] couldn’t hold her by herself, so I asked the mother to hold the girl, too. When I was just about to pick the splinter out, the mother let her wiggling daughter go and said, ‘Oh, no, I almost got a cramp in my hand,’ and I was thinking, ‘Oh, no, I almost impaled your daughter’s eye, but good for you that you didn’t get a cramp!’”

Me: “What caring parents this girl has…”

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Unfiltered Story #135096

, | Unfiltered | December 27, 2018

(Our Opticians also runs hearing services, sells hearing aids and does tests on people)
Customer 1 is a lady in her 70’s: “Hi there, could I speak to somebody please? My hearing aid is broken.”
Supervisor: “Oh okay, uh have you tried changing the batteries? Making sure its clean and stuff?”
Customer 1: “Don’t be so stupid! Of course I have! I’ve been wearing hearing aids for 20 years! How dare you insinuate that I’m stupid! I am an intelligent person! That is the first thing I did! Open the bloody box! It’s quite obvious that it’s broken”
Supervisor: “Okay, well I’ll get my colleague to have a look, is there anything else we can do for you today?”
(At this point I call up customer 2 who has heard the entire ordeal to the desk to help her, she just wanted to make a payment so I took it.)
Customer 2: (as she left) “And they say it’s the youths of today that are rude”
(I find Customer 1 some batteries for her hearing aids which she purchases, she leaves the hearing aid with us to check and intends to return in half an hour or so)
Another customer who was sat in the waiting area comes up to the desk: “I’d just like to say you guys handled that very very well, she was so loud and rude! Well done! What a cow!”

The Clarity Of A New Glasses Proves Nothing When Compared To The Precision Of A Child’s Logic

, , , , | Related | November 16, 2018

(I’ve been helping a little boy, who’s about three or four, to look at glasses before he goes in for his eye test. He’s more excited by the glasses case, which is quite a cool one that you can open all the way out until the two pieces roll back on themselves 180 degrees and close. We put the case to one side until after his test, but when he comes out, the optician says he doesn’t need glasses.)

Me: “Great news! You’ve got really good eyes; you can see perfectly, so you don’t even need glasses.”

Boy: “Okay!”

(He seems quite happy with the praise, and finishing up goes smoothly, until he spots the case on the side.)

Boy: “Oh!” *points* “My toy!”

Mum: “You don’t need it; you’re not getting glasses.”

Boy: *starts to cry* “Want it.”

Mum: “You can’t have it unless you have glasses; it’s a glasses case and you don’t have glasses to go in it. You can have it next time if the optician gives you glasses then.”

(He slumps down in his pushchair and starts to cry, but his mum says to just ignore him while he calms down and we finish up the paperwork. I don’t think anything else of it until about an hour later when the same mum marches her son back into the opticians.)

Mum: “Right, tell the lady what you did. Show her! [Boy], right now.

(From under his jacket he pulls out the same glasses case, and looks up at me sadly. He must have grabbed the same type of case from the display when we weren’t looking.)

Me: “Oh, but Mummy told you that you couldn’t have it. You don’t need glasses. You shouldn’t take things when people say no; it’s naughty.”

Mum: “No, open it up and show the lady.”

(He opens the case; inside are a pair of sample frames from the display.)

Boy: “You said I needed glasses, so I got glasses…”

(It took everything I had to keep a straight face and explain to him what we had meant. His mum was so angry — mostly out of embarrassment — but it seemed a classic case of kid logic to me!)

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, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(I work as an optician at a doctor’s office. This woman comes up to me asking about an update on her prescription. She tells me that she wants to keep her frames and just get new lenses. It’s no problem; we do that all the time. I explain to her that we will need to send her frames to our lab off site, since she did not get her old pair from us and we need to install new lenses directly. I then tell her the total. Problems ensue.)

Customer: “What do you mean, you need to install new lenses? Why is it so expensive?”

Me: “In order to update your prescription, we have to send your frame to our lab. There’s a small fee for using your old frame, but the lenses themselves are bringing up the price.” *shows her the price list*

Customer: “Yes, I understand that, but why do you have to put in new lenses?”

Me: “Um… In order to update your prescription, we have to create new lenses.”

Customer: “But I already paid for these!” *pointing at her glasses*

Me: *considering the possibility that she was updating her prescription on the same order, which would be free IF she got them from us* “When did you get them?”

Customer: “Three years ago! I paid over $800 for these, and now you’re telling me I have to pay more to get them changed?”

Me: “Well, if you got them from us and let us know that the prescription was wrong, we would have redone them for you right away, but even that is a 90-day grace period.”

Customer: “You’re not making any sense! Why would it cost me an additional $300 to just get my prescription updated?”

Me: “Well, the materials cost—”


Me: “I… That is not possible, in order to get a new prescription in these frames, the lenses would have to be changed entirely. We can’t just add or take away prescription to your old lenses.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: *at a loss* “I… Have you gotten glasses other than your previous pair before?”

Customer: “No! They are my first pair! I am not going to pay more to just add a prescription to my glasses!”

Me: “Okay, let me put it this way. When you were a baby, you wore smaller clothes, right? And as you grew older and taller, you needed to buy new clothes that were the correct size. That’s kind of like how prescriptions work. We can’t just… add strength to your lenses without making new ones.”

Customer: “But I already have the glasses!” *shakes her glasses at my face* “JUST ADD THE PRESCRIPTION!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry; I can’t do that.”

Customer: “You can’t or won’t?! You’re just trying to weasel more money out of me! You’re a crook! I want a manager!”

Me: “I don’t know how else to explain to you how this works. To get an updated prescription you need to get new lenses entirely. There’s no possible feasible way to add a prescription to lenses that are already made. Also, okay, my manager is at a different location, but I am happy to give you his card.”

(The woman continues to argue for about twenty minutes about how I am just trying to steal her money, that I should be able to just add the prescription to her old lenses, etc. Eventually, I ask her to wait a moment and I go and grab her doctor. The doctors don’t usually get involved with the glasses, but he makes an exception. The woman then proceeds to scream at him as well as me, making a huge scene.)


Me: “I would be happy to! But you’re getting new lenses one way or the other!”

Doctor: “Ma’am, she’s really the expert here. You can ask anyone wearing glasses in this waiting room, and they will all tell you the same thing!”

Me: “I’m wearing glasses right now! Whenever there’s a change in my prescription I have to buy new ones!”


Doctor: *sees I am close to tears* “Go ahead, ma’am. Good luck with that. But you need to leave now.”


Doctor: “Take it somewhere else.”


(She storms out, tries to slam the door, and cusses loudly when she realizes it’s a door that cannot be slammed.)

Doctor: “I’m sorry; I knew she’d be a problem when I was testing her eyes.”

Random Customer: “Dear, go take a break.”

Other Random Customer: “No one should be around that much stupid; I almost smacked her with my cane!”

(The woman did eventually come back — a lot more quietly — after a couple of weeks, since most other optical shops did not take her insurance AND she’d gotten the same response from literally everyone. She even had the guts to complain about how some of them laughed her out of the stores. I kept my best customer service face and just put her order through with a smile. She never apologized for her prior outburst, and still complained about the price, even though I offered her a healthy discount on TOP of her insurance benefits. Some people.)

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The Glasses Will Get You Halfway There

, , | Right | May 30, 2018

(I’m the idiot customer in this one. I’m with a scheme at my optician’s office where I pay a set amount a month and get contact lenses sent to me. One of the perks of the scheme is that I get free glasses below a certain price every time my eye exam is due. I got free sunglasses for my last exam as my eyes hadn’t changed that much, but six months later, I find myself needing a new pair of glasses.)

Me: “Hi, I’m on the contact lens scheme and got my last pair of free glasses six months ago, but I need a new pair and I was wondering if I got this £45 pair, if there would be any extra I needed to pay.”

Assistant: “No, nothing extra, but since you’re on the scheme and you’re getting another pair of glasses, you’re eligible for half-price frames on any of the £69 range or above.”

Me: “Oh, no, they’re too expensive for me. I’ve seen this £45 pair, and these are what I want.”

Assistant: “Okaaay…”

(She carries on going through everything with me, but still looking at me in a bit of a funny way. I try the frames on with the sizings, and she says to me that she doesn’t think the frames suit me that well, and would I like to have another look.)

Me: “But there weren’t any others in the £45 range that I wanted, and I can’t afford to… Wait a minute. Half price of £69 is less than £45, isn’t it?”

Assistant: *glad that I’ve finally twigged* “YES! And there are some much nicer ones in that range.”

Me: “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

Assistant: “Not even the worst we’ve had today!”

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