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That Is Sew Amazing

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2021

My mom and I are on vacation. The left leg of my glasses falls off, and we search in vain for the tiny screw to put them back together. We don’t find it, and as I have to have them to see with, she SEWS the leg back on.

Later on, we take them to the local eyeglass store to get them fixed. It takes them an hour, which is fine by me.

When we are picking them up, the eye doctor who was working says this to me:

Eye Doctor: “I have seen them fixed with wire, straight pins, etc., but this is the first time I have seen a leg sewn on to glasses. Whoever did this should have been a surgeon, as it was done so neat that I had a hard time getting the thread loose.”

She had sewed the leg back on by taking the needle through the small holes on both sides of the hinge on the left side. I still have those frames and I am still wearing them over five years later.

Ask Your Optician If Night Vision Is Right For You

, , , | Healthy | February 20, 2021

I work in an optician’s office and we have a patient come in saying that they can’t see through the glasses they recently bought.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Patient: “I have a problem with these glasses; my vision isn’t clear at night.”

Me: “Oh, and how about day time? Are you having problems with reading or distance?”

Patient: “My vision is fine during the day, but everything is dark at night and when I drive through a tunnel.”

Me: “Does your vision get blurry?”

Patient: “No, you’re not understanding. I can’t see far at night with these glasses! Everything is dark! It’s fine during the day, but when it’s dark, I can’t see everything clearly.”

My colleague heard this conversation and quickly jumped in. She had to explain that vision is limited for everyone at night because it’s dark, and no one has night vision. The prescription was fine and we had the health of his eyes checked out, which came out all clear.

It’s been five years but I still think about that man.

Some People Are Just Born For It

, , , , , | Healthy | February 19, 2021

When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.

His name? Doctor Seewright.

His occupation? Optometrist.

You can’t make this stuff up.

They Can’t See Clearly Why It’s Not Free

, , , | Right | January 28, 2021

A customer walks in and places a pair of broken eyeglasses on the counter.

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could fix these?”

Me: “Sure, we can give it a try, but there will be a small fee for replacement parts and labour.”

Customer: “What? Why do I have to pay?”

Me: “Did you buy those here?”

Customer: “No, I got them online.”

Me: “Adjustments and repairs are only free if you purchased them here.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid.”

Me: “Do you take your new Ford truck into a Honda dealership and expect a free tune-up?”

Customer: “No, of course not.”

Me: “Well, you are asking me to spend my time, use my tools, and my replacement parts to fix something I never sold you.”

He picked up the broken glasses and stormed out. I banged my head on the desk.

We Think We May Actually Be Speechless

, , , , | Healthy | January 18, 2021

I’m having my first eye test in a few years and the doctor gives me the colorblind test to flip through. I surprisingly stumble on a few of them, and my wife comments that she’s noticed I tend to confuse certain colors.

Doctor: “You’re not fully colorblind, but you do have something there. Probably a muted form inherited from your father. Does he have trouble with colors?”

Me: “Not that I know of, but he doesn’t really—”

Doctor: *Interrupting me* “Oh, then he’s not your father because you’re definitely a little colorblind. Women have to inherit the gene from both parents. I wonder who your real father is.”

Me: “Did you really just say that to me?”

It turned out that I have tritanomaly, which can come from a blow to the head — and I was bucked off a few horses in my life — OR can be inherited if both your parents at least carry the gene as it’s a mutation. So, it turns out that it IS possible for a non-colorblind man to father a colorblind(ish) daughter!