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Clean Your Glasses And Keep Looking

, , , | Working | June 4, 2021

I have moved to a new area and am looking around at eye doctors. I know I’m slightly far-sighted, but at the time of my last appointment, I didn’t need more than reading glasses. That was a long time ago, though, so I don’t know if I need more than reading glasses or even whether I still need reading glasses at all. I notice that an eyecare place in the same parking lot as my work is advertising “two pairs of glasses for $60, and a free eye exam.” As I don’t know whether I need the glasses at all, I decide to call them to find out how much just the exam is.

Employee: “Thank you for calling [Location] Optical. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I was driving past your building, and I noticed your sign about two pairs of glasses and a free eye exam, but I was wondering how much just the eye exam costs if it turns out that I don’t need glasses.”

Employee: “Just the eye exam would be $45, and we would give you a print-out of your prescription. Unfortunately, we don’t have any more appointments left for today. Can I have your name spelled out, so I can schedule you an appointment for tomorrow?”

Me: “My name is [My Name], but I’m not yet ready to schedule an appointment. I’m still looking at my options. I just wanted to know how much the exam would be.”

Employee: “[My Name], that’s a beautiful name. I bet you’re a very classy lady. I’ll tell you what I’ll do; I’ll put you down for an appointment for Monday, and if you need to change it, or if you decide to call somewhere else, there’s no fee to change or cancel it; just call us. So that’s [M-Y N-A-M-E]; do I have the spelling right?”

I’m a little startled by how hard he’s pushing.

Me: “Thank you, but like I said, I’m just looking around right now. Thank you so much for answering my question. Have a great day!”

I hung up before he could make another push. I haven’t ruled that company out for certain yet, but they were pretty high on my list, since they’re right next to my work, and now they’re at the very bottom of it!

This story is part of the Eye Exam roundup!

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Read the Eye Exam roundup!

Expecting You To Remember A Customer You’d Rather Forget

, , , | Right | May 13, 2021

When I’m about sixteen, I work in an optician’s where my mum is the manager. Neither of us thinks we look much alike and we both look our ages, but we do both have heavy fringes, are similar height, and are wearing the same uniform. I’m alone on the shop floor, my colleagues are dealing with other customers out of earshot, and my mum is upstairs in the office.

Customer: “Right. You. Now, when you spoke to me last week, you told me you were going to fix this, but f****** look at this piece of s***.”

Me: “Can I see your glasses, please, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t know what the point is; you’re a total idiot. You said you fixed them last time, but look at them.”

He’s waving them in front of me and I can’t see anything wrong, but it’s hard to tell as he’s brandishing them and won’t hold them still or hand them to me.

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. I don’t think you spoke to me, but I’ll be happy to take a look at them and see what I can do.”

Customer: *Suddenly shouting* “Are you calling me a liar?!”

Me: “Uh, no. But I wasn’t here last week, and I don’t remember speaking to you before that, either.”

Customer: “Well, you did f****** speak to me! Don’t you dare call me a liar! You spoke to me and told me you would fix them, and then they just fell apart.”

Colleagues start approaching uncertainly as the customer goes into a long string of shouted expletives. I’m just staring, open-mouthed, not sure what to say but getting more certain who he spoke to last week. Without thinking, I cut him off midway through a shouted sentence.

Me: “Sir, there’s only one person you could have spoken to if you’re this upset.”

I stood up without another word and went to get my mum. After bringing her back down, I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation but found out she banned him from the store and refused to touch his glasses again. A coworker filled her in on what I said when I realised the mistaken identity. I’d meant that if he was that upset last week, then they would have gotten her to deal with it, not that she had made him that upset, but that’s not the way it came out. Luckily, she found it really funny. That wasn’t the last time that people shouted at a sixteen-year-old assistant thinking I was the store manager, unfortunately!

Not Seeing Eye To Eye, Part 5

, , , , , | Healthy | May 10, 2021

I’m a technician at a local eye clinic. I call back a new patient. I get his history and find out he’s diabetic and uses scleral lenses — the kind that covers the entire eye. Diabetes can wreak havoc on the eyes if not controlled.

Me: “What brings you here?”

Patient: “I’ve had pain in both my eyes the past two weeks.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I see you wear sclerals. How long have you been using them?”

Patient: “Oh, these are about ten years old. They’re in great shape!”

Me: “Oooookay? How long per day do you wear them?”

Patient: “Oh, I don’t take ‘em out! They’re so comfortable and I forget they’re there!”

My eyes instantly start to hurt for him, but I continue.

Me: “So… how long have these been in your eye?”

Patient: “About two months!”

Me: “So, you haven’t cleaned them or taken them out of your eye in two months?!”

Patient: “Nope. It’s not my contacts that are bothering me, though. My eyes just hurt.”

Me: “Okay… and you’re diabetic, correct? What’s your blood sugar usually run?”

Patient: “I don’t know; I rarely check. Like 400 something?”

I’m almost speechless but I continue.

Me: “Well, we need to take the contacts out so the doctor can look at your eye.”

Patient: “Do we have to? Taking them out will make my eyes hurt more.”

Me: “Yes. Yes, we do.”

The patient takes his lenses out. They are covered with dirt and build-up to where the lens is a milky grey color rather than clear. I look at the patient’s eyes and they are beet red and swollen. Finally, the doctor comes in after I tell him what’s going on.

Doctor: “Let’s take a look.”

After examining the patient, the doctor can see two huge corneal ulcers exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes from extended lens wear causing the pain. The doctor explains that these are serious and can lead to permanent scarring which can be irreversible.

Doctor: “These are serious. You need to keep your lenses out to let the eyes heal.”

Patient: “No.”

Doctor: “No?”

Patient: “I’m gonna keep wearing my lenses.”

Doctor: “You really shouldn’t. If this infection doesn’t heal, you can be left with scars or could possibly develop into something much worse and lose the eye.”

Patient: “I don’t care. Give me my lenses.”

Doctor: “My tech has them. She’s finishing cleaning them for you.”

Patient: “Why in the h*** would you clean them?! They were fine!”

Doctor: “Sir, I can’t let you wear these in good conscience knowing it’ll make the problem worse.”

Patient: “F*** y’all! I’m going somewhere else where they know what they’re talking about. These contacts didn’t do anything to my eyes!”

He left with his contacts. We thoroughly documented the encounter and went on about our business.

A month later, he came back threatening to sue our company because he claimed we told him he could continue his lens use and never gave him any treatment for his condition — he left before we could — and now he had a pretty significant corneal scar in both eyes and would require a transplant. My doctor simply printed out the exam notes for him and told him he’d love to see him try. Harsh on my doctor’s part maybe, but don’t fight the people trying to help you!

Not Seeing Eye To Eye, Part 4
Not Seeing Eye To Eye, Part 3
Not Seeing Eye To Eye, Part 2
Not Seeing Eye To Eye

This story is part of the Eye Exam roundup!

Read the next Eye Exam roundup story!

Read the Eye Exam roundup!

Another Day, Another Mouth-Breather

, , , , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m at the eye doctor waiting to be called when a guy comes in and loudly announces: 

Customer: “I guess I have to put on the face diaper.”

He puts on the mask but forgets to cover his nose.

Receptionist: “Please cover your nose.”

Customer: “I guess y’all don’t want me to be able to breathe. 666, a new world order is coming.”

He left without even letting them know what it was he needed.

This Customer Is A Wild Ride

, , , | Right | March 30, 2021

I’m working in an optical store in a shopping centre when a lady comes in looking at glasses.

A few minutes later, a kid rides in on his bike, talks to the lady — obviously his mother — and rides the bike around the displays in the store. I approach them.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t have a bike in the store or inside the shopping centre. I’ll have to ask that your son keeps his bike outside. Otherwise, is there anything I can help with?”

The lady glares at me and replies snarkily.

Customer: “Well, not anymore!”

She stormed off, even taking the time to look back over her shoulder to give me a look that would boil steel.

Who’d have thought that an optometry store doesn’t double as a BMX track?