Eye See Death

, , , , , | | Healthy | May 21, 2018

(A customer and her husband have walked in and I go over to help them find some glasses. During our conversation, I ask the wife if they’ve seen an optometrist, as we have one on staff that accepts walk-ins.)

Customer: “Yes, we’ve already seen an optometrist. Several, actually. It took us a long time to find one that we like.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad that you found one that you liked.”

Customer: “Yes, they were all so awful. One was so bad that we had to report him to the Board of Optometrists!”

(I usually avoid getting into the politics and gossip regarding other optometrists, so I try to keep my response vague. The wife seems to be getting more agitated the more she talks about it.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about that.”

Customer: “Well, I heard he’s dead now, anyway, so that’s good!”

Me: “Wow… That’s actually really horrible.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess I shouldn’t say things like that, should I?”

(The customer shrugged and turned to ask her husband a question, completely unfazed. I’ve worked all kinds of retail over 15 years now, and I’ve never heard something so awful come out of someone’s mouth before. I left them alone to look and never helped the couple again.)

Enough To Bring Tears To Your (Infected) Eyes

, , , , , | Healthy | January 16, 2018

(A customer comes in for a contact lens appointment. Their last appointment was nearly two years previous. They have an eye infection, so we bill them for a medical treatment visit.)

Customer: “What is this charge here? I wasn’t charged for this last time.”

Me: “Last time, you didn’t have an eye infection. We had to charge you a copay for that because of your medical insurance.”

Customer: “You didn’t ask me before doing all that; you can’t charge me for it.”

Me: “But you did want contact lenses, right?”

Customer: “Obviously.”

Me: “The doctor can’t give them to you until that eye infection is cleared up; that’s why this was a medical visit.”

Customer: “Well, the eye infection was your fault, anyway.”

Me: “Umm, but it was from over-wearing your contacts, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, but that’s your fault.”

Me: “Ma’am, you made a three-months supply of contacts last 20 months. I’m quite sure we didn’t recommend you do that.”

Customer: “Well, the contacts are too expensive! I couldn’t afford enough of them.”

Me: “Then, might I recommend you get glasses instead? We have a large selection of frames to choose from.”

Customer: “Glasses make people look stupid.”

Me: *laughs awkwardly, as all the other employees wear glasses, as do I* “Well, actually…”

Customer: “I don’t want glasses; I want contacts, and I’m not going to pay for things I didn’t ask for. If you don’t want people to get eye infections, you need to sell contacts cheaper.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t pay for your visit, we cannot provide you with a prescription for contacts.”

Customer: “That’s just unprofessional!” *pays and then flounces out of office*

Making A Spectacle Of Your Stupidity

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2017

(I answer a call:)

Caller: “Hello, my son just received his new glasses and I don’t think they’re right!”

Me: “What is the matter with the glasses?”

Caller: “They’re way too strong!”

Me: “Is the child complaining of discomfort or blurry vision?”

Caller: “No, but when I put them on I can’t see anything! They must be too strong! When I look around the room I can’t see anything! I can’t imagine that my child sees anything either!”

Me: “Well, those glasses would not prescribed for your vision. They are prescribed for your child’s vision because you see differently.”

Caller: “They are just too strong and I’m not gonna have my child wearing these!”

If Only You Could See What You’re Saying

| UK | Right | May 15, 2017

(I’m an optical assistant, and regularly deal with patients having difficulty with their glasses. This exchange happens more regularly than I would wish.)

Patient: “I’m having trouble with my glasses. I can’t see very well at all when I’m not wearing them.”

Me: “When you’re NOT wearing them? How is your vision when you ARE wearing them?”

Patient: “Well, I can see fine when I’m wearing the glasses; it’s when I take them off that’s the problem!”

Me: “The glasses only correct your vision when you’re wearing them, and looking through the lenses. If you want to be able to see well, you need to wear your glasses.”

Patient: “But I can’t see without them!”

That’s Too Close For Comfort

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Related | April 17, 2017

(My mom is trying on glasses.)

Optometrist: “How’s the comfort feel?”

Mom: *looking at all the glasses* “Which one is that?”

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