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They Can’t See Or Hear Themselves

, , | Right | December 17, 2021

On more than one occasion, I’ve had a conversation like this.

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “I’m here to collect some contact lenses.”

Me: “Who are they for, please?”

Customer: “Myself.”

At this point, I usually stare at them until I get a name.

This Is Your Brain On Autopilot

, , , , , | Working | November 23, 2021

I was calling a patient to let them know that their glasses had arrived for pickup. While the phone was ringing, I got slightly distracted by something, so when the voicemail beeped for me to leave a message, I reacted out of habit.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Optometry Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?” 

As soon as I finished saying that, I realized what I had done, panicked, and hung up. After my colleagues and I finished laughing, I called back and left a message saying that the glasses were in. 

I hope the patient got a good laugh!

My Eyes Are Up Here, Seriously!

, , , , , | Working | November 12, 2021

I’m a 5’0″ tall woman with G-cup breasts, so my boobs are very noticeable. While I don’t do things to deliberately draw attention to them, there is no way to hide the fact that I have them.

I went to an eye doctor/eyeglasses store for a fresh eye exam and new eyeglasses. I wore a shirt with a mild scoop neck. Even with such a moderately modest shirt on, I couldn’t help but show a lot of cleavage.

After the examination, the eye doctor was assisting me in picking out new frames.

Me: “Which of these two frames do you think looks better on my face?”

He pointed at one.

Doctor: “I think those go better with your boobs. Ummmm, I mean eyes!”

Fortunately, I have a good sense of humor and his slip only made me laugh.

How Many Times Can You Frame This?

, , , | Right | September 13, 2021

I work in a shop that sells glasses. We have a policy of not adjusting frames that were bought elsewhere due to liability reasons. If it breaks, I am liable to replace it and I cannot warranty products I don’t even sell.

A lady walks into my store and says she needs me to adjust her glasses. I immediately recognize that it’s not our product, so I ask her if it’s purchased with us in case she just got the lenses from us and not the frames.

Customer: “No, it’s not from here, but you’re going to adjust it for me since I bought my other glasses from here.”

I ask for her information to pull her file, but I cannot even find her in our system because she never bought anything from us.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s our policy that I cannot adjust stuff that wasn’t purchased here, and I know we have never sold that brand of frames here.”

Customer:I cannot believe this! How am I supposed to see out of these comfortably?!”

Me: “I would suggest taking them back to where they were purchased and have them take a look at the glasses to determine this.”

Customer: “I need this adjusted!”

Me: “Yes, and I explained that our policy is to not touch products we didn’t sell, for liability reasons.”

Customer: “I cannot believe you’re doing this to me! Isn’t there a fee I can pay?”

Me: “I have stated three times politely that it’s our policy and I need to follow company policy, so no, there is no fee I can charge you, nor would I want to, as it’s not even about money. There are places that don’t have this policy, and you’re more than welcome to try there!”

I name two places for her.

Customer: “What kind of operation are you running here?! This is unbelievable!

She stormed off after a few dramatic exhales and slamming her belongings around on the counter.

I’m going to try that with my Ford. I’m going to go to Honda and demand they fix it, because that’s so logical. I love how opticians are complained about as being “too expensive,” so people buy their stuff online and then are mad at the same opticians for not looking after products they bought at the competition. Total entitlement.

Pair This Down So That They Understand

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2021

Caller: “Hi, I was in there earlier and someone sold me contacts. I was supposed to get a box of twelve, but only received six pairs.”

She had the same prescription for both eyes. I had to think for a moment about how to respond.