Comprehension Hazy, Try Again

| | Right | March 4, 2009

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. Where it says ‘frame includes single-vision lenses’, does that mean I can’t have trifocals?”

Me: “No, it just means that the cost of the frame includes the price of single-vision lenses. If you wanted trifocals we would charge you the upgrade price to have them. They start at ¬£49 on top of the frame.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “The difference between single-vision or trifocals?”

Me: Oh, well, trifocals give you three different magnifications, into distance, intermediate and reading. Single-vision will only give you one of those.”

Customer: “Why can’t I have a single-vision lens that does all of those?”

Me: *checking her prescription* “…because your eyes need different levels of magnification to see each one clearly.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “When you are over forty, your eyes start to become lazy and have trouble focusing on close-up things, as well as things that are far away.”

Customer: “I’m not lazy just because I’m over forty! Let me speak to your manager! I have never been so insulted!”

1 Thumbs
2,587
VOTES

He’ll Raise The Dead And Validate Your Parking

, | | Right | February 19, 2009

(A woman comes in to my clinic with her 6-year-old daughter and approaches the receptionist.)

Customer: “Hi, I need my daughter’s eyes fixed.”

Employee: “Sorry?”

Customer: “My daughter. She’s blind. I need you to fix it.”

Employee: “Oh, um…is she totally blind? Can’t see a thing? How about light?”

Customer: “No, she’s completely blind.”

Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t think we can help you. How long has she been this way?”

Customer: “Oh, all her life. She was born blind.”

Employee: “…why didn’t you look for help earlier?”

Customer: “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILDREN, MISSY!”

(After listening in on the conversation, I decide step in.)

Me: “Is there a problem here?”

Customer: *pulls her daughter’s arm* “Yes. My daughter is blind and you need to fix it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do. We don’t treat things like that here.”

Customer: “NO! You call yourself an eye doctor! You must be able to fix her, and you WILL!”

Me: “Like I said, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, god**** you all to h***! I’m going somewhere that will actually help us!”

Me: “Ask Jesus, I heard he was good at that.”

Customer: *storms out*

1 Thumbs
3,522
VOTES

After The Tornado, Dorothy Never Was Quite The Same

| | Right | February 12, 2008

Me: “How can I help you?”

Old Woman: “Well?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Old Woman: “Are they here?”

Me: “Are what here? Glasses? Contacts?”

Old Woman: “MY GLASSES GOD D**N IT!”

Me: “I’ll be happy to check. What is your last name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “Dorothy is your LAST name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “And your first name?”

Old Woman: “Dorothy.”

Me: “Okay, so your name is Dorothy Dorothy. Got it.”

1 Thumbs
2,497
VOTES

Someone’s Not Getting Any Tonight

| | Right | February 7, 2008

Customer: “I like these glasses. They make me look more smarter!”

Customer’s boyfriend: “Yeah, well looks can be deceiving.”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

1 Thumbs
2,188
VOTES

Customer: Impossible, Part 2

| | Right | February 4, 2008

Woman: “My screw fell out of my glasses. Can you replace it?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

(I go in the back, replace the woman’s screw and bring it back.)

Woman: “This is all wrong.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “This screw is silver. My screw was gold!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the only screws I have are silver.”

Woman: “But my screw was gold. This thing is cheap.”

Me: “To be fair your screw wasn’t gold. It just had gold paint on it just like your frames.”

Woman: “How do you know?”

Me: “Well, I looked at the other screw.”

Woman: “I thought this frame was solid gold.”

Me: “I’m afraid not. This is a $120 dollar frame. It’s not going to be made of gold with gold screws for $120 dollars.”

Woman: “Well, can you give me a gold painted screw?”

Me: “I only have silver, ma’am.”

Woman: “Well I don’t want it.”

Me: “Would you like me to take it out and give you back your broken glasses?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “Than I suggest you take this screw.”

Woman: “I don’t want it!”

Me: “Then I’ll take it out for you.”

Woman: “No! I need them to see.”

(I hand her back her frame, still fully repaired.)

Woman: “I DON’T WANT THAT SCREW!”

Me: “Well if you find the screw that fell out, I will be happy to put it back in for you.”

Woman: “I’ll never find it. It fell out a week ago!”

Me: *bangs head on wall*

 

1 Thumbs
1,893
VOTES
Page 12/13First...910111213