Should Get Her Eyes Tested

| Marion, IL, USA | Right | April 26, 2011

Me: “Thank you for choosing [optometrists]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I looked up DNA tests on the internet, and your number came up.”

Me: “I’m not exactly sure why that would be. This is an optometrist’s office.”

Caller: “So, you can’t help me find my baby-daddy?”

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His Logic Has More Than Meets The Eye

| Perth, Australia | Right | March 19, 2011

(A customer walks in with a pair of glasses.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Do you mind pushing the lenses out of this frame for me? My wife wants just the frame for her lab work. She would like to use them as safety glasses.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The frame would be useless if I pushed the lenses out.”

Customer: “No. She’s going to use them as safety glasses in the lab.”

Me: “Are you sure, sir? It wouldn’t meet the standard of safety glasses if it doesn’t have any lenses.”

Customer: “Yes! I’m 100% sure that they will work as safety glasses without any lenses.”

(I remove the lenses for him.)

Me: “Okay. If something was going to fling into her face, whatwould protect her eyes?”

Customer: “These safety glasses!”

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Not Quite Seeing The Light

| UK | Right | January 14, 2011

Customer: “I can’t get on with these reading glasses. I can read fine with them here, but not at home.”

Me: “Okay, have a look at the reading chart here.”

Customer: “Well, I can read that here, but not at home when I read in the evening.”

Me: “It’s quite bright here. What kind of lighting are you using at home?”

Customer: “What difference would that make?”

Me: “Well if you’re reading in poor light that can make it more difficult to see small print.”

Customer: “Well, I just have a table lamp.”

Me: “You might want to try a reading light. Better light does
make it easier to see.”

Customer: “I just want glasses that work! You don’t need light to see!”

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Not Seeing Or Believing

| Wichita, KS, USA | Right | April 16, 2010

Customer:  “Something’s wrong with my vision.  I’m not seeing well at all.”

Me: “Did this happen suddenly, or gradually?”

Customer:  “When I woke up this morning, everything is blurry!”

(I look up her file, and see that she had had an exam and purchased glasses in the previous month.)

Me:  “So, even with your new glasses, everything is blurry?”

Customer:  “Well, no.  It’s fine with my glasses on.  But I have worn them for a whole month!  Shouldn’t my eyes be better by now?”

Me:  “Ma’am, the glasses make your vision better, but only if you are wearing them.”

Customer: “What kind of a quack doctor do you have there? Thanks for nothing!”

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Backwards Thinking

| Colorado, USA | Right | January 25, 2010

(I am dispensing new glasses to a customer.)

Me: “Okay, now take a look around the store. Is your distance coming in clearly?”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s backwards.”

Me: “Backwards? What do you mean?”

Customer: “The sign…the letters on it are backwards.”

Me: “Which sign?”

Customer: “The one in between the frames.” *customer then turns around and looks out into the store* “Now the sign looks right, but when I look this way,” *turns back around to face me* “…it’s backwards. This has never happened before! What’s wrong with my glasses?”

Me: “Ma’am, are you looking in the mirror behind me?”

Customer: “Oh! That must be it! Well then, my glasses are working wonderfully. Thank you!”

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