(My husband is out doing some Christmas shopping. He goes into a chain lingerie store and walks right up to the cashier to purchase a gift card. While that is going on, one of the sales reps on the floor calls over to him in a mocking or joking tone.)

Sales Rep: “What’s the matter, sir? Are you too scared to actually purchase something for your wife?” *laughs*

Husband: “Nooooo, I’m purchasing a gift card for my daughter.”

Sales Rep: “Oh, er, good call!” *walks away quickly*

(At my store, we don’t do holds. I ring up a woman and her total comes to $150.)

Customer: “My husband has my wallet, but he’s walking towards the store. Can I leave my stuff here while I go get it?”

Me: “Yes. We don’t normally do this, but because your husband is walking towards the store, we will.”

(I go on break four hours later, and they haven’t come back yet. My manager insists I put all her stuff back, so I do. Come ten pm, when the store is closing, the couple comes back angry that I put stuff away.)

Customer: “You didn’t say you had a time limit!”

Me: “Well, it’s been six hours, and you told me your husband was walking!”

(She walked around and gathered everything together but didn’t let me ring her up just to be petty.)

(I am on a ladder putting up candy when I see two girls eating from the bulk bin below me. I warn them not to eat candy and direct them to where the bags are. I get called away by my manager and when I look back I see the girls eating candy from their bags.)

Me: “Guys, I already warned you once.”

Girl #1: “Okay, we’re f****** paying already.”

Me: “Let me help you at the front, then.”

(The unofficial rule at our store is if a customer is eating candy while in line, we add to their total weight to make them pay for it.)

Me: “I guess I’ll just add two for the candy you already ate. Do you have a [Store Card] for a discount?”

(They do and their candy comes up to $3.87 but they are upset that I added two grams. They demand to speak to my manager so I send a coworker to get her.)

Me: “Can you move over so I can help the rest of the line?”

Girl #1: “No.”

(However, my manager is, apparently, taking too long so they go to her. I finish with the line as they speak to my manager. I don’t know what they said but my manager brings them back to the front to call her supervisor. I don’t talk to the girls because I don’t want to make them angrier but they just rile themselves up anyway.)

Girl #2: “I’m going to rip your f****** limbs off, you minimum wage b****. I don’t know why you care so much for $11.25.”

(This isn’t what we make by the way. It is clear she’s never worked a minimum-wage job in her life.)

Me: “I’m going to get security. You cannot threaten me like that.”

(I get security but they just stand around and watch. My supervisor is unavailable so the girls take down my badge number and name and leave. After, I speak to the DM about what happened and he promises to back me up if the girls make a complaint.)

Coworker: “See, this is why I just let them steal!”

Me: “But if you just let them steal they’ll walk all over you!”

Coworker: “Eh, whatever. It’s not worth minimum wage.”

My family has been getting ready to move, so we start auctioning online a lot of things we find around the house that are still in good condition. The buyers, however, have been a huge pain, for the most part. We get a few good ones, but they’re the minority, unfortunately.

We arrange a date and time, and they either don’t show, or they show up hours or even days later without even an apology. Sometimes my parents have to go out of town for something or another, leaving me to wait for these errant buyers for a few days, messing with my sleep schedule and leaving me tired and cranky.

One, however, stood far above the rest. The buyer arranged to show sometime before noon. I had a pet-sitting job I had to get up early for that same day, so after I got back I waited for the buyer to show so I could get in a nap. He finally showed up at half-past six, and he was smoking right on our doorstep without a care in the world. Everyone in my family has asthma, and he clearly wasn’t paying attention to how uncomfortable the smell of the smoke was making me. I had to drench the entryway with air freshener and leave all the windows open for hours, and I was still coughing long after he had gone. And what was all this mess for? A $7 folding chair.

(I’m helping out a friend who is managing a booth at one of the biggest video game swap meets in Canada. It’s pretty busy, and people are offering quite a few high-value trades. We have a bin of common, relatively cheap NES games at the front; the most expensive is Super Mario Bros 3 at $30. A kid, about 12, zones in and grabs it as soon as the swap meet opens.)

Kid: “How much for the Mario?” *ignoring the sticker price on it*

Me: “It’s $30, sir.”

Kid: “Can you do $15?”

Me: “Sorry, no can do.”

(The kid puts it back without saying a word, but he roams around and browses our tables a few more times. Eventually, he comes back with a tacky Chewbacca bobblehead that’s probably worth a few bucks.)

Kid: “Hey, can you do a trade for this?” *waves the Chewbacca bobblehead in my face*

Me: “All trades have to go through my boss. I’ll let you talk to him.”

Boss: *comes up after a minute* “Hey, what do you have there?”

Kid: “Will you trade this Chewbacca bobblehead for Mario 3?”

Boss: “Sorry, I’m not really interested in taking toys.”

Kid: *pause* “So, will you trade this for Mario 3?”

Boss: “Sorry, but no.”

Kid: “How about if I trade a game with it?”

Boss: “Depends on what you bring me.”

Kid: “What if I trade two games with it?”

Boss: “It still depends on what you bring me.”

Kid: “So… will you do $15 for this and some games?”

Boss: “I’d still need to see which games.”

(My boss then walked away, and the kid just gave a frustrated look and wandered off. He came by at least one more time, still holding that Chewbacca bobblehead. I know he’s a kid, but he was still old enough to know no means no.)