Time Trout!

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2019

(A lot of people assume that we keep the freshest fish hidden in the back, but if that’s what this customer meant, they chose the weirdest way to ask.)

Customer: “I want rainbow trout for tomorrow.”

Me: “Sure, right over there.”

Customer: “Those have today’s date on them.”

Me: “Yes, because I put them out today.”

Customer: “But I want it for tomorrow. Will it be okay?”

Me: “Of course. Look, the expiry date is four days from now.”

Customer: “I would rather have tomorrow’s date.”

Me: “I… You want fish with tomorrow’s date on it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: *forced chuckle* “I don’t have a time machine!”

Customer: “I understand.”

(Well, I don’t!)

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Never Get Between Me And My Pizza

, , , , , | Working | September 4, 2019

(I am eighteen. My family moved to Ottawa when I was ten, and our home only has one pizza place close enough to walk to. This means we have been ordering from this place two or three times a week for about eight years, and the whole time we have always ordered the exact same thing. It is a small, family-run business. It has gotten to the point where they start to recognise our voices on the phone and we both stay up to date on each other’s families. I always go pick the food up. Often it was the same two people working at the cash register, but this time, it is someone new. I recognise him from the walk-in kitchen, but have never talked to him.)

Me: “Hey, I’m here to pick up our regular.”

Cashier: “What was your order?”

Me: “One extra-large, three-topping walk-in special with bacon, sausage, and pepperoni. Two Pepsi, and a small poutine.”

Cashier: “What is your address?”

(I’m confused. I have never been asked my address before, and I do not know it because I have never been asked before.)

Me: “Um, I don’t know my address.”

Cashier: “Well, you will need to get an adult to confirm your order.”

Me: “I am a regular here; I always get the same order. But I don’t know my address, nor do I have a phone. Can I just get my order?”

Cashier: “We can just call home. What’s your phone number?”

Me: “I don’t know my phone number. Please, can you just give me my order?”

(We are both becoming frustrated as neither of us will budge.)

Cashier: “You need an adult to confirm your order, or I can’t give you your order. Go home and confirm your order.”

Me: “Sir, I just want my pizza.”

Cashier: “Leave.”

(He points towards the door, and by this point, he is yelling at me. I am shocked; I have never had a bad experience here before.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “I said leave. Get out of here! Your business is not welcome here.”

Me: “Do you know who I am?”

Cashier: “I don’t care who you are. Get out of here right now!”

(Now I am also angry, but I know he has no right to kick me out. Due to me having authority problems, I refuse to leave.)

Me: “I would like to talk to your manager.”

Cashier: *about to speak, but I cut him off*

Me: “I would like to speak to your manager and/or the owner of this place.”

(The cashier heads to the back, and brings the owner. I instantly recognise him, and he recognises me. Due to it being a family-run business, he has been the cashier before for me.)

Boss: “Is there a problem? What’s going on here?”

Me: “Your employee here is trying to kick me out of here because of a misunderstanding. He would rather deny the business of a regular than do his job and give me my pizza.”

(The boss took the cashier to the back, and a few minutes later, he returned and served as my cashier. After the boss got me my pizza, I went home, not tipping, despite the fact I very often do. Next week, when I was back again, I saw one of my normal cashiers. I asked him what had happened to the other guy, and he said that he was on leave. I didn’t see that cashier again until about six months later, and he was back to working in the kitchen. I have never seen that man working as the cashier despite it being about a year since the incident. That was the only time I ever had to use the “I wish to speak to your manager” line.)

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Unfiltered Story #161892

, , | Unfiltered | September 2, 2019

(A customer walks up to my cash register and throws an envelope on the counter, and just stares at me.)

Me: What’s this?

Customer: A payment!

Me: Oh an open account payment?

Customer: YES!

Me: Ok. Thanks. (I put it under the register for the manager to collect and put through later)

Customer: Where are the calculators?

Me: They’re in aisle two on your left. Would you like someone to meet you there and give you a hand?

Customer: Which one is aisle two!?

Me: um… the second aisle.. (I point) Would you like some help picking out the right one?

(The customer walks over to aisle 2 without saying anything to me)

Me: (turning to my manager) I guess not then.

(Later the same customer comes to the register with a printing calculator. I scan it and begin to ask her if she wants the extra warranty on it, but she interrupts me)

Customer: That’s on the *business* account.

Me: (I’m flustered from being interrupted, and also because I have never heard of the business she just said. I take out the book of open accounts anyway, to try and find the business) Sorry, what was it called?

Customer: Don’t you remember? I JUST gave you a payment for them!!

Me: Yes, but I didn’t process it; the manager does that. I just put it under the til, so I don’t have it out anymore

Customer: UGH It’s *business*! *A DIFFERENT BUSINESS*!!

Me: Um… Wait, sorry, so is it *business* or *Different Business*?

Customer: It’s *business*! But it’s also *Different Business*

Me: So which one is it under, then? I’m confused.

Customer: Well you’re easily confused then! I just told you that it’s *business*! *Different Business*!

Me: But you keep saying two business names.

Customer: YES! *Different Business!*

Me: Okay…. (I find the second business she mentioned in the open accounts book) And do you have ID on you?

Customer: Excuse me? What do you need to see my ID for?

Me: To make sure you’re on the list of authorized buyers from this business.

Customer: Oh I’m probably not on there.

Me: Well, unfortunately you need to be —

(The customer shoves the calculator closer to me on the counter and then storms out)

Me: (to my manager who was standing near by) Well. She was just a bundle of happiness, wasn’t she?

Unfiltered Story #161870

, , , | Unfiltered | August 31, 2019

I’m waiting at a coffeehouse one afternoon during my break for the barrista to make my drink. She finishes up a previous on order and calls out a latte of some sort (I wasn’t paying full attention knowing it wasn’t mine). A gentleman comes to the counter to grab it – after he had already grabbed the wrong one earlier and the Barrista had to remake it for the correct customer.

Barrista: (something something) latte
Customer: *goes to grab it*
Barrista: Did you order a (whatever kind it was) latte, sir?
Customer: No,
Barrista; Then don’t take that then, it’s not yours
Customer; Oh *goes to sit down*
Me: Do people seriously take the wrong drinks alot?
Barrista: All the time!!

Tingle Of Death

, , , , , , | Right | August 30, 2019

(I work for an internationally popular skincare brand, known for having affordable and luxury pricing to offer each client options. The skincare requires over 36 hours of training to learn, so we ensure each client can speak with an ambassador so they don’t injure their skin. Still, people skip talking to us to follow beauty bloggers who know little about skincare. In this case, one such woman comes in with two friends. I overhear a customer:)

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I put on Glycolic Acid and Alpha Lipoic Acid every morning before doing Retinol. I love how it makes my skin tingle. You guys need to try it.”

Me: “Excuse me, but do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your routine? We generally recommend using those products separately and in the evening to avoid irritation.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, [Beauty Blogger] says these products saved her skin, and she uses them the way I do.”

(I attempt to politely explain to the client and her friends that this is not a good idea, so that I don’t injure the client’s pride.)

Friend #1: “Okay, but [Beauty Blogger] has gorgeous skin, so we’re just going to do that, even if it’s irritating.”

Friend #2: “Yeah, just show us where they are.”

(I concede and take them to the products, explaining each one as I go, done with being magnanimous.)

Me: “Okay, so, these three will make your skin photosensitive to light, so not only can you give yourself a sunburn, you can get chemical burns from using them all together, which will prematurely age your skin. [Beauty Blogger] must have a great dermatologist fixing her skin if she does all this damage to it.”

(The two friends look at their friend in horror before turning back to me.)

Both: “So, what would you recommend?”

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