Coupons: Before And After

, , , , | Right | August 22, 2019

(We have a bunch of coupons out, one of which is a standard “two can dine” for $9.99. A customer and his wife come up to the counter and he hands me said coupon. I go through the process of ringing in the order and everything is fine until I give him his total.)

Me: “Okay, the ‘two can dine’ coupon with [items] comes to $11.70.”

Customer: “How much is it after the coupon?” 

Me: “That is the price with the coupon. It’s $9.99 plus tax.”

Customer: “So, I only owe you $1.70 because the coupon says $10?”

Me: “Sorry for the misunderstanding, but it’s actually two combos for $9.99. That’s still a significant savings over the regular price of two combos.”

Customer: “But the coupon says I get $10 off!” 

Me: “I’m sorry, but no, it doesn’t. The price is $11.70 after tax and that’s with the coupon applied.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your other store wouldn’t do it right, either!”

(With that he stormed off, leaving the coupon behind.)

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Paging Manager To Checkout Catch-22

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2019

(I live in a somewhat isolated rural area, so we only get pomegranates for sale for about one week before Christmas. When they come out this year I pick up a half-dozen with the rest of my shopping and bring it all up to cash. As the cashier picks up my pomegranates…)

Cashier: “What are these?”

Me: “Pomegranates.”

Cashier: “Where did you get those?”

Me: “From the bin over there. I was excited to see them so early this year.”

Cashier: “Where? We don’t sell these!”

Me: “The sign said they were $8.99/kg.”

Cashier: “No, we don’t sell these! I don’t know where you got them from, but you can’t have them in here. We don’t have any here!”

Me: “So, can I have them back, then?”

Cashier: “What? No!”

Me: “Well, if you don’t sell them here I must have brought them in with me, so can I have them back?”

(I am planning on bringing them to the lotto desk and trying to buy them there.)

Cashier: “What kind of a scam is that? You can’t just take them; you have to pay for stuff!”

Me: “So, can you ring them up, then?”

Cashier: “NO! We don’t sell them here. You can’t just bring your own stuff in to buy!”

Me: “You think I’m scamming you by bringing my own groceries to the store to buy them from you?”

Cashier: “Yes! That’s not allowed!”

(Sadly, the whole interaction stressed me out enough that I left with the rest of my groceries, and when I next went shopping there were no more pomegranates. Fingers crossed for next year!)

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It’s The Wrong Item, Grommet!

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2019

Customer: “Do you have those plastic things that go in the holes in desks?”

Me: “Oh, grommets? Unfortunately, we don’t sell them in the store anymore, but you can get them online.”

Customer: “No, I know it’s not a grommet. It’s just a black plastic bit that makes the hole in your desk look nice. You know, where you feed your wires through and stuff.”

Me: “Yes, that’s a grommet. We used to have them in the store, but we don’t anymore.”

Customer: “No, no, it’s not a grommet. It’s for the hole in your desk where you feed your wires. I know you can also get some that have a little flap on them so they can close the hole up completely.”

Me: “Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about. We don’t have them in the store.”

Customer: “Okay, but what would you call that?”

Me: “A grommet.”

Customer: “No, not a grommet. I can’t think of what it would be called. What would you call it?”

Me: “I would call it a grommet.”

Customer: “But that’s not what it is!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know any other name for them, so I have no idea what I would search if that’s not the name you want to give it. But I know what you’re talking about and we don’t have them. If you need it today, maybe they have them at [Store]?”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll go look. So, if I go there and I need help, what should I tell them I’m looking for?”

Me: *regretfully* “A grommet.”

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Double Stupid

, , , | Right | August 19, 2019

(Like most places, we offer our signature burger with double patties. It even has its own combo number on the menu. There are no promotions or specials on it. We are, however, running a two-for-$7 special on our regular signature burger. I’m listening to this exchange over the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Can I get the double [signature burger]?” 

Cashier: “Absolutely. Would you like fries and a drink with that?”

Customer: “Yes, please.” 

Cashier: “Okay, your total today is [around $13].” 

Customer: “That’s the double?”

Cashier: “Yes, you have the double [burger] combo with fries and [drink].”

Customer: “Why is it so much?”

Cashier: “The double [burger] combo is [price] plus tax.”

Customer: “But the sign says the double is $7!”

Cashier: “Oh! You mean the two-for-$7!”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I said: the double!”

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Unfiltered Story #160122

, , | Unfiltered | August 15, 2019

(There are two separate customers in the self serve area and I’m helping one couple at their machine, trying to get them to understand the simple instructions, but the woman at the next copier keeps huffing and looking at me, and complaining to herself. Finally I look over at her)

Me: Are you having a problem?

Customer: YES! First it wouldn’t read my card because I put it in before it asked me to, and now that I’ve done it the way it wants, it’s telling me to remove my card!!!

Me: .. Uh… That’s because you have to remove it….

Customer: Oh.

(I go back to helping my original customers but the other lady gets all huffy and loud again)

Me: What’s happening?

Customer: It won’t do anything! The screen is just black!

Me: Did you press the ‘on’ button?

Customer: It should already be on!

Me: Did you see the sign on the copier that says the press the ‘on’ button if the screen is black? They go into sleep mode when they’re not in use.

Customer: Oh

(I go back to helping the original customer, but see out of the corner of my eye that she’s putting the paper on the glass the wrong way)

Me: That’s going to cut off half your paper, ma’am. Make sure you put it the way the picture on the left shows you.

Customer: Huh?

Me: See the diagram on the left side of the copier? That’s how you have to put your paper

(The original customers weren’t super happy either. ha)