A Selfish Use Of The Book

, , , , , | Right | May 2, 2018

(A patron approaches me at the circulation desk in our public library.)

Patron: “I have something awkward to tell you.”

Me: “I won’t judge. I promise.”

Patron: “Well, you might.” *she shows me a heavy coffee table book, “Selfish,” Kim Kardashian’s selfie book* “The pages are all stuck together, and I thought you should know I found it like this.”

Me: “Well, it’s in no condition to circulate.”

Patron: “The thing is—” *lowers her voice to a whisper* “I know this smell and it’s a man’s… you know.”

(It took a moment to register, before I nervously called over my more senior coworker for moral support. We chucked the book because it was clear the damage was done within the library, since there was no way we would check a book out to anyone in that condition, nor would we return it to the shelf like that. Neither of us could be sure the sticky stuff was what the patron suggested it could be, but we were taking no chances there.)

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Unfiltered Story #109661

, | Unfiltered | May 2, 2018

(There is a little display of chocolates at the cash that is yet to be signed, and a customer picks one of the chocolates up)

Customer: So these are free, then?

Me: No, they’re $1.48

Customer: Well there’s no sign, so it’s free.

(I laugh a little, thinking she’s joking)

Customer: I’m serious.

Me: Oh, well, no, just because there’s no sign doesn’t mean it’s free. It just hasn’t been priced yet.

Customer: Well if you don’t have a sign, you have to give it to me for free!

Me: If the sign said Zero dollars, I would have to give it to you for free.

Customer: Well you should have a sign on it!

Me: I agree, but we just opened, and we haven’t gotten to it yet. (I grab a stack of newly printed signs off the printer from the counter behind me and hold them up) It’s on the to-do list, but unfortunately, it takes time to put them all out. They’re $1.48

Fat Chance Of Understanding Protein

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2018

(Our store currently has a not-as-well-known brand of lunch meat on sale. I am helping a customer at the office when another customer comes up and interrupts, holding two cans of the lunch meat.)

Customer: “This can—” *points at the “light” can* “—says it has eight grams of protein. This can—” *points at the regular can* “—has only seven grams of protein. Why is this one labelled as the light one?”

Me: “Can I see the light can, sir?”

Customer: *hands me the can*

Me: “Oh, this one is 25% less fat. It’s not lighter in protein.”

Customer: “Oh, not light in protein.”

Me: “Nope, just lighter in fat.”

Customer: “Oh.” *to the customer I was helping* “Why would I want it with less fat?”

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Unfiltered Story #109651

, | Unfiltered | April 30, 2018

I went to a store to buy some shirts and jeans. After finding what I wanted, I approached the cashier. She was a young looking girl, possibly just finished grade school.

<b>Cashier 1</b>: Will that be all for today?
<b>Me</b>: Yes.
<b>Cashier 1</b>: Alright that will be $90.20.
<b>Me</b>: (Gives her $100.20).

The cashier held the money and turned to another cashier working adjacent to her.

<b>Cashier 1</b>: (Whispering) The customer gave me $100 and 20 cents but the price of the item was only $90 and 20 cents, how much do I give her in change?
<b>Cashier 2</b>: Um, $10.
<b>Cashier 1</b>: Oh yea that’s what I thought.

She turned back to me.

<b>Me</b>: (Surprised by the lack of basic math skills) How old are you?
<b>Cashier 1</b>: I’m 3rd year…university.

Never Really Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

, , , , , , , | Right | April 27, 2018

(I work in a deli. I can’t go a day without needing to point out to customers that we don’t have pepperoni in the counter. One day, this old man takes it to a whole new level.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: *looks at the precut meats in the counter* “I want sliced pepperoni.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any in the counter. We do have some pre-packaged—”

Customer: *cuts me off before I can finish* “This is not pepperoni.” *as he points at the black forest ham*

Me: “No, that’s black forest ham. We have no pepperoni here; you have to buy the bags.”

Customer: *points at the cooked ham* “What about this? This is not pepperoni?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s cooked ham… and the one beside it is pastrami, and the next one is smoked chicken.”

Customer: *points at another meat* “This is not pepperoni?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as I said there is absolutely nothing in here that is pepperoni. That’s turkey.”

(This goes on until the customer has pointed at all the meat-shaved bins and our stack of mock chicken, asking if it is all pepperoni.)

Customer: “Oh… What was this one, again?” *pointing at the cooked ham for the third time*

Me: “That’s the cooked ham.”

Customer: “I’ll have 30 cents of that, then.”

(I put one slice on the scale and it comes out to about 50 cents.)

Me: “Is this okay?”

Customer: *yelling at this point* “No! I said 30 cents’ worth! Make the piece smaller!”

(I cut the piece smaller and it comes up to 35 cents; about 10 grams of meat are on the scale at this point.)

Me: “Is this better?”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine. You people here never do things right. I should just shop at [Other Store about a 15-minute walk away].”

(I later told my supervisor, and since I’d only been there a couple of months so far, I wanted to know if stuff like this happened often. He started laughing and saying that this had never happened to him in the past three years he’s worked there.)

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