Unfiltered Story #139414

, , | Unfiltered | February 9, 2019

Me: Do you have air miles?

Customer: No. (turns to man behind her) Do you have air miles?

Man: No

Customer: You don’t want to get points?

Man: um, no, I don’t have air miles.

Customer: (to me) Weird. He doesn’t want to use his air miles.

Not Banking On This Level Of Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2019

(I work in an airport.)

Me: “Okay, so, you declared that you have more than $10,000 dollars on your person.”

Passenger: “Yes. It’s for work; I’m a television producer.”

(After a few more questions and proof of the validity of the money, I decide to take him into a room to count it.)

Me: “I’m going to take you to a secure counting room to count it all.”

Passenger: “What? It’s just on my card.”

Me: “What?”

(The passenger takes out his credit card and waves it.)

Passenger: “I have more than $10,000 in the bank.”

Cuteness Overload

, , , , , , | Learning | February 8, 2019

(One of my aunts is a high school teacher. One day, she wakes up with a bad case of butterfingers.)

Aunt: *after the third time dropping something in the same class* “It’s a good thing I’m cute!”

(Toward the end of class, she launches into a detailed explanation of what the next assignment is, when it’s due, and other fun details. When she finishes:)

Student #1: “Um, wait… What’s the assignment about?”

Aunt: *gives him a Mom Stare* “It’s a good thing you’re cute!”

Student #1: “What?”

Student #2: “I think she just called you stupid.”

Student #1: “Why?”

Oh, Halal No!

, , , , , , , | Legal | February 7, 2019

My friend works as a lawyer. He was invited to a restaurant to meet with a potential employer/business partner, but was not able to attend due to his religious dietary restrictions.

He received the following text message once he let them know that he was not able to attend:

“Kosher was introduced centuries ago when the food supply was unreliable, and many were getting sick.

The same is true of Halal food.

But today, with refrigeration, government inspections and so on, adherence to Kosher is no longer relevant.

I am concerned that we may have difficulty working together if you adhere to this and other non-rational practices.

Including adherence to non-rational holidays. Being a criminal and deportation practice, my phone rings 24/7/365 and I need to be available to work.

I will have lunch and a beer with [Big Lawyer] at an Italian bistro next Thursday.”

My friend was surprised that someone would say something like this on record, being that this is a blatant Human Rights violation in Ontario.

It’s A Worn Old Story

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2019

(I work at a very popular maternity store. It has numerous stores across North America.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to make a return.”

Me: “Sure, let me see what you have.”

(I pull out an obviously-worn pair of underwear.)

Me: “Umm, there are no tags on these and they are obviously worn. Unfortunately, I will not be able to refund you for these.”

Customer: “Why not? I only wore them for one day and I don’t like how they feel.”

Me: “Ma’am, it is a serious health violation for me to accept this return. I can show you some different options, though.”

Customer: *screams and starts yelling* “Fine! I will never shop here again, and I hope you rot in h***!”

(The customer storms out, and the manager comes out.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Me: “She tried to return dirty underwear!”

Manager: “Ugh, that’s the fourth this week.”

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