Scary Things In The Basement

, , , , , | Working | September 11, 2019

(My wife and I have just bought our first house. It is relevant to the story that it is a detached home, with a fully furnished basement. Although the basement is set up so that it can potentially be rented out as an apartment, it was not used this way by us or the previous owner. As is common after a move, we get a bit of mail meant for a previous owner. There is one piece of mail from a TV and telephone company addressed to “Resident” at “[Our Address] Bsmnt Apt.” A new envelope comes monthly. I call the company to correct the issue.)

Employee: “How can I help you?” 

Me: “Hi. I’m calling about some mail that is being sent to me in error.”

Employee: “I can help with that. Can I get your phone number or account number to pull up your info?” 

Me: “Actually, I don’t have any services with [Company]. That’s why I’m calling. I’m getting someone else’s info sent to my home.” 

Employee: “I see. Can I have the name on the envelope?” 

Me: “No, it’s just sent to ‘Resident.'” 

Employee: “Well, I can’t change the mailing information on your account if you don’t give me a name or a phone number.” 

Me: “It’s not my account. I just bought the house. It’s not even addressed to a real apartment. It says, ‘Bsmnt apt,’ but there is no basement apartment.” 

Employee: “Can you give me the address? I may be able to get your account from that.” 

Me: *provides my address*

Employee: “Please hold for a moment.” *brief hold music* “Okay, sir, I have the account pulled up now. It looks like you have an outstanding balance of [over $100].” 

Me: “What? No. You’re not understanding me. You have the wrong address on file. Whoever owes that balance doesn’t live here anymore. I just want you to stop sending his mail here.” 

Employee: “Sir, you still have to pay your bill, even if you moved.” 

Me: “But it’s not my bill.” 

Employee: “You live at [address], correct? Then this is your bill.” 

Me: “But I just moved here and have never had any services with you. Just stop sending any correspondence here. There isn’t even a basement apartment! No one lives there separately. You’re records are clearly wrong.” 

Employee: “If you own the house, then you own the basement apartment. You are the ‘Resident’ at [Address]. This is your bill. You have to pay it.” 

Me: “I’m going to make this clear. I do not have any business with your company. You are sending someone else’s bill to my address by mistake. I will not pay a penny. You have no name on file. You have an address that doesn’t exist. If you send me any more mail to this address I will consider it harassment.”

Employee: *long silence* “But this is your bill.” 

Me: “Transfer me to a manager.” 

(I spoke to a manager. She understood what I was saying and corrected the issue in minutes. I now record my calls with an app.)

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Unfiltered Story #162098

, , | Unfiltered | September 11, 2019

Customer: I need some things printed

Me: Ok, do you need them within the hour, or would you like to come back later in the day for them?

Customer: It’s 2 files and they’re double sided. They’re supposed to look like a brochure.

Me: Ok. So do you need them within the hour or can you leave them with us for longer than that?

Customer: Well can’t I show you the files?

Me: Sure you can. I just wanted to know when you needed them for.

Customer: Oh you can’t do them?

Me: Yes… I can do them… we have a 1 hour express service, or a standard service…

Customer: I need you to do them now.

Me: I can’t do them now, I can do them in an hour.

No Room To Get Drunk

, , , , | Right | September 9, 2019

(I work at the front desk in a hotel and conference centre. Our checkout time is noon but as people are here on conference they tend to still be in the building most of the day after they check out. It’s rather common for us to have guests coming to the front desk later in the day realizing they left something in the room. A guest checked out right at noon and comes back to the front desk at two.)

Guest: “Hey, I just went back to my room and the bottle of booze I left in my fridge is gone.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” *gets guests room number and looks it up* “Sir, it looks like we have you checked out.”

Guest: “Yeah, I checked out at noon but I left the bottle in there.”

Me: “Well, let me call housekeeping and see if they picked it up when they cleaned the room.”

Guest: *starting to sound mad* “Why would housekeeping take booze from my room? They can’t just take things out of guest’s fridges. That’s stealing. I left it there to pick up after my conference was done.”

Me: “You left it in the room after checking out?”

Guest: “Well, yeah, I was going to go get it, and I’m not impressed that they took it out of there and that had they had already cleaned the room. I was going to use the washroom, too, but couldn’t because it was tidied.”

Me: “Sir, the second you checked out of that room, it was no longer your room. Your key shouldn’t have even let you in.”

Guest: “But it’s my room!”

Me: “Not after you check out, sir. The room needs to get turned over for the next guest.”

Guest: “They should have known I was going back to it, though, because I left my booze!”

Me: “They most likely assumed you had just forgotten it. People forget things in their fridges often.”

Guest: “Well, I want it back!”

Me: “Let me just call housekeeping and we can see about getting it for you, sir.”

(The entire time I’m waiting for housekeeping to bring the bottle to the front desk, the guest is pacing and ranting under his breath about how ridiculous it is and how he is never going to stay here again. I remain silent and busy myself for the maybe five minutes it takes for her to come to the lobby; all the while he becomes more impatient. She finally brings the bottle up… It’s a mickey of Smirnoff; all that for a fifteen-dollar bottle of vodka.)

Guest: *turning back to me and yelling* “You’re lucky I got it back, but that took far too long and it never should have been taken out of the fridge in the first place. I will be contacting corporate and filing a complaint about this awful customer service. How was I supposed to know that checking out meant the room was no longer mine?”

(The guest stormed out, still swearing under his breath. I’m not quite sure who he’s contacting, though, as we’re a one-off hotel and conference center and there’s no “corporate” office to complain to.)

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Unfiltered Story #162060

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2019

I’m the customer in this story, I’m browsing masks at a popular seasonal costume shop when I see a wolf mask- it’s the last of its kind as far as I can see. I’m a furry but not at all open about it because of the volume of hate. There’s two teenage boys and their mother blocking the corner where the mask is so I can see it but can’t reach it without invading their personal space. They’re taking their time and I’m in a little bit of a rush so I decide to get their attention.

Me: “Excuse me Ma’am but could I get to that corner there?”

She says nothing and takes a few steps over, just enough for me to reach the mask. I grab it and start looking it over, deciding how I could alter it for an upcoming party. Suddenly I hear a gasp but think nothing of it, the prices in this store are paticularly steep.

Mother: “Oh my god, you’re not one of those furf***s!”

I know exactly what she means.

Me: *Dying in the inside* “Excuse me ma’am?”

Mother: “I didn’t think this store catered to YOUR KIND!”

She proceeds to knock the mask out of my hand, me completely dumbfounded and frozen in shock, then storm out of the store dragging one of her kids by the arm the entire way. Her second younger son sneers at me.

Younger son: BURN IN HELL FURF**!!”

He stomps of the mask, crack the plastic and follows after his mom and brother. An employee approached me afterwords and said he had their license and assured me they would be paying any cost it took to get me a new mask for free!

Real Time Printing

, , , , , | Working | September 5, 2019

(I work in the IT department in the office. An employee calls me to have a look at an issue she is having. She tells me the printer isn’t working, and she thinks it might need more ink. The following conversation happens when I arrive at her desk.)

Coworker: “There’s something wrong with the printer. It won’t let me change the page.” 

Me: *a little confused* “Can you show me what you mean?”

Coworker: “See, this one I could change before I got it out.” *shows me a printed page she had sitting in the printer tray* “But the printer isn’t letting me change this one.” *pulls up another Word Doc that is locked for editing*

Me: “I can fix that. Can I just sit for a moment?”

(A few clicks and she’s good to go.)

Coworker: “Oh, good. Thank you. I was worried that the printer was just too full, or it needed more ink before I made a change.”

Me: *still a little confused* “Nope, your printer is fine. And you’re all set now.” 

(As I was walking back to my desk it occurred to me what she meant. I think she believed that every document she sees on her computer screen has a corresponding physical page in her printer, and editing a Doc means the printer changes the page as she does so. Clicking “print” is just how she gets the page out.)

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