I work at a small electronics chain which carries everything from batteries, to cell phones, to cables, to gaming consoles. It is Back to School week and we are getting all sorts of calls for random cables and adaptors.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. Do you have wireless ethernet cords?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say, ‘wireless ethernet cords’?”

Customer: “Yeah. Wireless ethernet cords. Do you have them?”

Me: “Do you mean wireless adaptors or do you mean you need an ethernet cord?”

Customer: “No. I need a wireless ethernet cord.”

Me: “By definition, an ethernet ‘cord’ cannot be wireless.”

Customer: “Yeah, sure. Whatever, man.” *Click*

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 37
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 36
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33

In our copy centre, we have prepaid cards for the self-serve copiers.

Customer: “Someone said I could use this card for other stuff if I don’t spend it all on copies?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s like a gift card.”

Customer: “So, what can I buy with it?”

Me: “You can buy paper, or pens, or ink, or whatever.”

Customer: “Oh, cool, okay. So, could I, like, use it at McDonald’s?”

Me: “No.”

I’m on a long bus trip from Montreal, Québec, to Ottawa and then Toronto, Ontario. It’s something like seven hours, not counting the connecting time in Ottawa. It’s a “night trip” starting at 21:00 in Montreal and ending at 05:00 in Toronto.

There are two women sitting just in front of me for the two-hour trip from Montreal to Ottawa. They chat non-stop for the whole trip. It’s relatively early, so it’s not that bad. They speak some Arabic language, which makes it like “noise” to me, and I’m able to take a nap, not being tempted, voluntarily or not, to eavesdrop.

Then, there’s the leg from Ottawa to Toronto, which is four hours. They are sitting a few rows behind the driver, but are just chatting again non-stop. I am seriously amazed that their vocal cords haven’t called it quits by this time. All we hear is them. No one else is talking.

Then, about an hour into this trip, the bus driver speaks up.

“To whoever is talking non-stop behind me, it’s 3:00 am. Some people might want to sleep. Could you please be considerate and shut the h*** up?”

That might not have been the most courteous way to ask for it, but it did the trick.

I’m sure many travelers, in their heads, clap their hands for the driver. I know I did.

I am looking at forums for a free-to-play game I am enjoying and I come across a customer complaint that is just too good not to share.

Complaint: “I have spent $1000 on this game. Obviously, I really like it. However, I do not feel that I got any positive utilities out of my purchases, enjoyment or otherwise. Therefore, I request a full refund of everything I have spent on this game.”

I should clarify that the game is not “pay-to-win” or even multiplayer. Paying real money only gives you the ability to speed up various things in the game and gain in-game currency faster.

He went on to say over and over in the comments how surprised he was that he wasn’t getting his refund.

The CanUsa games are in my city, which results in many American visitors. A man comes into our dollar store with his three children and they all get drinks and chocolate bars.

Me: “Your total is $5.10.”

Customer: “Visa.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we do not accept Visa, just cash or debit.”

The customer says nothing; he just opens his wallet and shows me his American money.

Me: “We can accept American bills.”

He pulls out six American ones and hands them to me and then stops, pulls one of the bills out, and pulls out a Philadelphia cream cheese packet.

Customer: “Can I pay you with this?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Instead of the ten cents, can I pay you with this? It’s worth ten cents. I really don’t want the change.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I can only accept currency.”

Customer: “D***. You Canadians sure are hard bargainers!”