Waiter, Can We Get A Seatbelt?

, , , , , , | Related | November 18, 2019

(My husband, our four children, and I go out to a restaurant for dinner. We have impressed upon our children the importance of staying put in their chairs when we go out. Unfortunately, one of my children is a squirmer. He stays in the chair, but he twitches and wriggles around. As the waiter walks by, my son suddenly falls out of his chair and onto the ground; this happens all the time at home. The frightened waiter jerks backward, fortunately not spilling anything.)

Waiter: “I didn’t do anything! He just fell! I didn’t touch him, honestly!”

(I hold up my hand. He stops and stares at us with a scared expression as if he’s expecting us to go ballistic and blame him.)

Me: “It’s okay. Honestly. This happens all the time; I know you didn’t do anything. He just… falls out of his chair.”

(The waiter seemed shocked, if relieved, that we weren’t blaming him, and the service was exceptional for the rest of the meal, although I did notice that he went out of his way not to walk behind that particular child’s chair again. We left a big tip to make up for the shock he had received!)

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Credits And Online And Kiosks, Oh My

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2019

Customer: “I’m checking to see if my order is in. I got an email a little while ago saying that it was put on hold, but I want to see if it’s here.”

Me: “You got an email saying it was on hold? Did it say why?”

Customer: “No, something about using a credit card, but I didn’t use a credit card.”

(She shows me her receipt which tells me that she ordered it at our online kiosk in the store.)

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll check to see if it’s here, but if they put it on hold, you would have had to do something like call them or something in order for it to go through.”

Customer: “It says there’s a problem with the credit card, but I used a debit card.”

Me: “It would have been a Visa debit or a Mastercard debit, which makes the online system think it’s a credit card. But I’ll check first to see if your order is here.”

(It’s not.)

Me: “Okay, it’s not here. Do you have the email they sent you?”

(The customer shows me on her phone.)

Me: “Okay, it says that they couldn’t authorize your card, and they needed you to call them to make sure the card is yours, or for you to go to your bank and make sure there are no issues with your card.”

Customer: “You’re not listening to me. It says credit card in the email and I didn’t use a credit card.”

Me: “You used a Mastercard debit, which makes online stores think it’s a credit card. We know it’s not a credit card, but when you use a credit-debit online, it tricks the computer into thinking it’s a credit card. That’s one of the reasons they’re a thing.”

Customer: “I didn’t do it online; I did it in store.”

Me: “Yes, at our kiosk, which is essentially our online store. So, you have to call the online number, or you have to go to your bank to see if there is a problem with your card that can be fixed. But it could just be that the billing address was typed in wrong, and they want to verify it. It happens sometimes.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “You can go to your bank and make sure there isn’t a problem with your card, or you can call the online number, which I can give you, and ask them how to sort it out. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything for you at store level because it’s an issue with the online store.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s saying there is a problem with my credit card, and I didn’t use a credit card!”

Me: “I know. I told you it just thinks it’s a credit card because you used a Mastercard debit on the online kiosk. Our kiosk only takes Visa or Mastercard debit cards, because it only works on credit cards, and it thinks Mastercard and Visa debits are credit cards.”

Customer: “I didn’t use a credit card!”

Me: “I know. But there is still a problem with it, and they won’t ship your item until it’s sorted out.”

Customer: “Well, then, I want to buy one in store.”

Me: “We don’t carry this item in-store; that’s probably why the associate brought you to our kiosk in the first place.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “As I said, you can go to your bank, or you can call the online number. It’s right here in your email.”

Customer: “But it says that if I don’t reply within two days, the order will be cancelled, and this was sent to me last week.”

Me: “Why didn’t you do anything about it last week?”

Customer: “I wanted to see if it would come in, anyway.”

Me: “You may have to call online and have them place the order again.”

Customer: “So, there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “I already gave you all your options.”


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Get Me To The Hotel On Time

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2019

(I work at the front desk at a very well-known hotel chain. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, [Guest Services], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to make a reservation.”

Me: “Great! What’s the date of arrival?”

Caller: “I don’t know! It’s for a wedding!”

Me: “Okay… However, I’ll need a date of arrival to look up because there are a lot of weddings happening this year and next. Do you have the invitation?”

Caller: “No! It’s not my job! It’s your job to know the dates!”

Me: “Actually, it’s only my job to make the reservation, sir. Why don’t you call me back when you know the date of arrival?”

Caller: “F***, really? You should know the date for me!”

Me: “Have a wonderful night, sir!” *click*

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The Male Period, Where He Discharges Whines All Month

, , , , , , | Working | November 11, 2019

My friend and I popped by a well-known drug store so I could pick up some medicine for my cold. She noticed that tampons were on sale and grabbed a box, along with some chapstick. We got up to the register, I paid for my medicine, and she put the tampons and chapstick on the counter.

The guy at the register visibly paled upon seeing the box and used the chapstick to push the box onto the scanner and then into a bag so that he wouldn’t have to touch an unopened box of tampons. I know periods are bad, but you do realize you don’t magically get them if you touch a box of tampons, right?

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Unfiltered Story #177077

, , | Unfiltered | November 7, 2019

(It is a very busy day and everyone is at a cash register ringing out customers, and a coworker and I are both at the Copy Counter booking in orders. We are right next to each other at the counter and this exchange happens with my coworker and her customer)

Coworker: Would you like these within the hour, or did you want to come back later this evening?

Customer: Oh no, I need them right now.

Coworker: Well, unfortunately we don’t have time to do it right while you wait. I can do it in an hour, though.

Customer: What do you mean you don’t have time? I need them!

Coworker: Well we have to deal with other customers as well, and it’s easy for us to get pulled away from a copy job before we’re finished it. As you can see, it’s really busy in here, so I won’t get a chance to do it this second.

Customer: What about that girl? (pointing to me) Can she do it?

Coworker: …. no? She’s with a customer right now….