No One Can Intersect Your Email

, , , , , , | Working | January 2, 2020

The drivers in my area are astonishingly bad at obeying road rules and it is becoming a serious threat to pedestrians. As a result, I emailed the local police department about it several times. The first time, they agreed to look into it and added a couple of people in their response to me. They changed the timing on the crosswalks and lights. Then, I witnessed an “Oh, my God, how did that not kill you?” moment of driver stupidity and reported it to try to get them a little more enthusiastic about dealing with the local drivers. They agreed to look into it and added a few more people to the list already CC’ed.

Today, months after the first complaint, I got harassed while crossing legally by a driver who was blocking the intersection while stopped behind another car who was one of several stopped in the crosswalk. I made yet another report, this time to the local mayor’s office, his assistants, and everybody from the original emails. Ten emails in total, when I’d only started with one and then added the mayor’s office.

My report bounced back from every one. Apparently, our mayor, his assistants, and everybody in charge at the police station are on holiday for the next month. I’m beginning to see why we have an enforcement issue.

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Extra-Large Insults

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work in a clothing store that mostly sells industrial workwear and business casual clothing, but we have a small and very limited section of athletic clothing. A fifty-year-old male approaches me looking for workout clothing.)

Customer: “I need something to work out in. I want to lose weight. I’m heavyset like you; I want to start running and get back into shape. I used to run half-marathons. Can you believe that?” 

Me: *offended he made a jab at my weight* “Yeah, sure, I can. Let me show you what we have for running.”

Customer: “I want to stay warm. It’s getting cold. I need a one-piece running suit with a zipper.” 

Me: “We don’t sell anything like that. You’ll have to buy a shirt and pants.” 

Customer: “What about that?” *points at long johns that have buttons*

Me: “That would work to keep you warm, but you should still put clothing over it.” 

(He keeps insisting I have one in the back. I go “check.”)

Me: “Sorry. We don’t have what you’re looking for. Have you tried [Specialty Running Store]?”

Customer: “They won’t have it.” *starts telling me about his life, realizing I am trying to leave as I can’t help him* “I used to work in a factory before. I went to college. Now I’m retired. When did you graduate high school?”

(Note, I’m 24.)

Me: “Actually, I got my bachelor’s degree.”

Customer: “Well, that’s surprising. Why are you working here?”

Me: “I need the money.”

Customer: “You should get a real job. I need to work out. Find me that running suit. I don’t want health issues. My ex-wife had health issues. We didn’t have kids because of it. Now I feel empty inside. Do you have a partner? You should have kids so you don’t feel empty like me.” 

Me: “Yes, I have a partner but we’ve both agreed to not have kids.”

Customer: “He will leave you if you don’t have kids with him.” 

Me: “If he does, that’s his problem.”

Customer: “How are women so strong? I still love my high school crush. So, where’s this suit? I need it in an XL.”

(I am tired of listening to him, so I call another of our stores in a different city and get them to hold the long johns for him since that store has them in his size. He seems happy and leaves. The next day, he comes back and asks for the exact same product he originally came in for, which we don’t carry. I tell him it doesn’t exist and I’m not calling other businesses to see what they have. He keeps asking about everything in the store. Soon, he asks about shoes. Since I work in clothing, I get my coworker that works in the footwear department.)

Me: *to my coworker, who’s a male and a foot taller* “This is the guy that insulted me yesterday. He doesn’t believe me that we don’t have what he’s looking for. Get him out of our store.”

(I left. I don’t know what my coworker said to him, but I haven’t seen him since.)

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What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work at the customer service desk of a department store. Customers normally come to me if there’s damage to an item and they want a discount. Two gentlemen come up to my desk with a metal framed futon, which has been partially opened, but still has the plastic straps around it.)

Customer: “This is open, and I’m not sure if there’s anything wrong with it or missing from it, so I was wondering if I could get 10% off?”

(I proceed to check if the amount is low enough for me to authorize myself. He and his friend are chitchatting, and I catch bits and pieces, but I hear that they are going to ask for more off.)

Me: “All right, I can give you the discount.”

Customer: “Which one?”

Me: “10%.”

Customer: “Can I get the taxes off?”

(I do the math, and it’s more than I’m willing to authorize myself, so I go find a manager. I explain the situation, and she says absolutely not. She says she wouldn’t even give the 10% as there’s nothing wrong with the futon, but I’m free to if I want. I go back to the customer.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, she’s only giving the 10%.”

Customer: “I actually work with the Royal Canadian Legion; I’m a chaplain there. Do you want to ask again?” *slides a business card towards me*

Me: “She’s not going to change her answer; it was a hard no.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks for trying!”

(He was all smiles from then on, thanking me profusely for my help several times. Little did he know that I am in a type of reserves in the Canadian Forces, so was not one for this to be tried on, and using Jesus to try to get a discount on a futon is just tacky.)

Related:
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 6
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 5
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 4

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Sub-Standard Behavior

, , , , , , | Right | December 30, 2019

(I work in customer service. Today is a particularly hard day for me — difficult customers and the like. All I want to do is grab a sub and get home to watch some TV.)

Employee #1: “Cash or debit?”

Me: “Cash.”

Employee #1: “Okay. Because the debit machine is down.”

(At the cash, [Employee #2] is on the phone with the store owner who is obviously not being any help or offering any direction. Also at the register is a man in his early 40s and his son who is about five. The man storms out with his son in search of cash. I go through the sandwich building process, awkwardly stepping around a family who also need to pay by debit waiting for cash to arrive, very patient, quiet people. It comes time to pay for my sub. [Employee #1] rings it in as [Employee #2] hangs a “Cash Only” sign on the door. The computer freezes at the point that the cash drawer is supposed to open. We stand there for ten minutes making small talk. [Employee #1] is apologising profusely. [Employee #2] is on the phone with the store owner, explaining that people are waiting. Nothing is working. The owner hangs up, offering no direction. The man and his kid come back. The man pushes in front of me, slamming his money on the counter.)

Employee #1: “The cash system is also down now.”

(This is when the man pitches the hissy fit to end all hissy fits. Everything about my crappy day comes flooding back to me. And it occurs to me: they work there but I don’t.)

Me: “What is your problem? They are doing everything they possibly can do.”

Man: “This is f****** ridiculous.”

Me: “Sure. But it’s not their fault. Tell me, what do you think they should do? They can’t give you free food. Their store owner hung up on them. Pull up your big-boy pants and set a good example for your son! Be an adult!”

([Employee #1] and [Employee #2] pool their tips and come up with change. The man storms away, slamming tables out of his way with the child following. To appease this “grown man” child, the employees gave him change out of their OWN TIPS! Teenagers making minimum wage sacrificed to appease an adult driving a fancy truck. Another few minutes pass and finally:)

Employee #1: “Screw this. I am taking the change from below.” *a float of some sort*

(It took roughly twenty minutes to pay for a sub that was now cold and gross, but it was not their fault. I thanked them, reminded them that it was not their fault, and wished them luck.)

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Don’t Drink The Lemonade!  

, , , | Right | December 29, 2019

(A customer has just given his order and is waiting at the counter as I ready his drinks. Note that it has been a particularly busy day and I have not been able to tidy up my station for a while as we aren’t allowed to when there are customers waiting.)

Customer: “Oh, my God! Is that somebody’s blood?”

(He has exclaimed this with alarm and is pointing towards the end of the counter which is right beside the iced beverage machine. Naturally, I go over to investigate straight away.)

Me: “Sir, that is raspberry flavouring syrup. We use it for our iced lemonades.”

Customer: “Well, it looks really realistic!”

(After he left, I took the time to wipe up that particular spill!)

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