Push Up And Beyond

, , , , , , | Learning | March 7, 2018

My best friend and I had a particular loathing for high school gym class. Our teacher was one of those strict, no-nonsense types who was pretty much always yelling. The worst part was push-ups. Whenever we did them, everyone always laughed at me and said it looked like I was humping the ground, but the teacher never said what I was doing wrong, so I had to keep doing it that way, which didn’t help my already low self-esteem. Thankfully, I only needed to endure it for a year to get the mandatory credit.

Fast forward a few years, and I decide I want to get more into shape. I decide to try push-ups again. This time I get the idea to ask my father — a former gymnast — for advice. I demonstrate what I’ve been doing my whole life, and he tells me that since girls have a different center of gravity, because of the extra weight in the chest area, it’s better for girls to start by keeping their knees on the ground until they build up their strength. I had essentially been doing advanced-level push-ups my whole life, and nobody, not even the gym teacher — who should have known this –had bothered to correct me.

My friend, who also didn’t know about the knee thing, took the words right out of my mouth when I told her about this: “I’m gonna kill her.”

A Huge Hole In Their Logic

, , , , | Right | March 6, 2018

(I work at a popular clothing company. I am almost finished with a seven-hour shift, after one of those crazy one-day sales, when a customer comes up to me and demands to return a jacket that was on sale. We have a policy that if it’s a manufacturing defect, we can exchange the item with no problem.)

Customer: “I’d like to get a new jacket because this jacket has a huge hole under the arm!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. May I please take a look at the jacket?”

(She hands over the jacket. I quickly find the tear, but the tear is obviously manmade with a pair of scissors. Of course, I’m supposed to give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: “Let me just check our systems to see if we have the same jacket in the same colour in stock.”

Customer: “Fine. Just be quick, though.”

(Unfortunately, we don’t have it in the same colour, but we do have the same jacket in a different colour.)

Me: “I’m so sorry to inform you that we currently don’t have the same colour of jacket in stock, but we do have it in the grey.”

Customer: “That’s fine, I guess, but can you bring it up? I want my new jacket, and then I’m going to go get my mom to deal with the broken one.”

Me: “I’m sorry? I can only process this jacket as an exchange or return. If you are planning on fixing the jacket, then I can’t authorize any returns or exchanges.”

Customer: “But it’s broken! I want to speak to a manager!”

(I call up my manager, who repeats exactly what I told the lady. She obviously doesn’t like what she’s hearing.)

Manager: “So, what you’re telling me is that you want to exchange the broken jacket for a new one, and still keep the old jacket?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?!”

Manager: “Uh… no. You can either exchange or return the jacket, not both.”

(The customer then left in a huff. I turned to talk to my manager who just rolled his eyes. Sadly, that wasn’t even the worst customer we had that day.)

Blame Canada! Part 8

, , , , , , | Right | March 6, 2018

(I work at a clothing store in Canada that’s fairly popular in the USA, too. We get a fair amount of American customers, as well. Each country has a different version of the website and different sales. One afternoon, two women approach me at the cash with their shopping and I quickly begin ringing them up.)

Customer #1: “Oh! Those jeans aren’t the right price.”

Me: “Oh, that’s no good. Did the sale sign in the section say something different?” *thinking it’s a signing error*

Customer #2: “No, no, it’s the website price that’s different.”

(She then pulls out her phone to show me the website. I can see from the web address that she’s looking at the American website.)

Me: “Miss, that’s the wrong website; also, we don’t price match to our web prices.”

Customer #1: “What do you mean? We’re at the [Store] website!”

Me: “Miss, you’re in Canada, and even if you were using the Canadian website, I still can’t price match the jeans to that price. If you want the jeans at that price, you’ll have to buy them in the States.”

Customer #2: “But we’re American! I want to pay the American prices with American money!”

Me: “Then, please, go back to the States and purchase the jeans there. While you’re in Canada, you have to pay the Canadian prices. I’m sorry.”

(They left in a huff and I thankfully didn’t see them for the rest of my shift.)

Blame Canada!
Blame Canada! (Day)
Blame Canada!

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 32

, , , | Right | March 4, 2018

Customer: “I need to return this router. I can’t get it to work.”

Me: “Okay. Did you want to talk to someone about it and see if they can explain to you how to set it up?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you want us to set it up for you? That’s a service we provide.”

Customer: “No, I’m just not going to use it. I’ve been using the building’s Wi-Fi, anyway; I don’t even have my own Internet.”

Me: “You don’t have your own Internet at all?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “That’s why it wasn’t working, then. This doesn’t give you Internet; it makes the Internet that you already have wireless.”

Customer: “But I had a different router and it worked.”

Me: “That’s strange. You must have Internet, then.”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “Well, then, your router shouldn’t work… It doesn’t just give you Internet.”

Customer: “No, I used it off the building’s Wi-Fi! I don’t have my own Internet!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 31
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 29

“Entering” A Whole New World

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2018

(This happens at least twice a day at our self-serve computer, after the customer has asked for help.)

Me: “If you’re emailing it, you need to first open the Internet browser.” *points to it on the screen*

(The customer has a blank look on their face.)

Me: *pointing again* “Right there. Okay, now type in the provider of your email address.”

(The customer types in their email address in the website bar.)

Me: “No, not your full email, just the website you use to get at your email.”

(The customer types.)

Me: “Then, hit enter… Hit enter… The enter key, on the keyboard… The one that says enter.”

(The customer finds it.)

Me: “Now, click right here so you can sign in… Right here… No, left click. No, left click. Click the left button on the mouse… That’s the right button.”

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