(A customer comes up to me holding a package of naan bread.)

Customer: “What kind of bread is this?”

Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”

Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words “Naan Pain” on the front of the package*

Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”

Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”

This story is part of our Tongue-Tied-Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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(The restaurant is very busy, so food wait time is longer than usual.)

Table #1: “When is our food coming out? This is ridiculous; we’ve been waiting twenty minutes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We are very busy right now, but I’ll be bringing out your food very shortly.”

Table #1: “Well, I hope so! You’re the worst server we’ve ever had!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Like I said, it’ll be out shortly.”

(I move to another table.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait, I’ve checked on your food and it will be out shortly. I’m so sorry. I realize you’ve been waiting.”

Table #2: “That’s not a problem at all… Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “I’d like to offer you your meals on the house, and thank you again for your patience.”

Table #1: *overhearing* “How come WE don’t get our meals on the house?”

Table #2: *to [Table #1]* “Because WE’VE been waiting POLITELY!”

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(I am a customer at a 24-hour store at about three am. I notice that the store uses the same system at my own store. Since the cashier is new to his job, I am teaching him how to put in coupons when another customer comes up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Cashier: “Yes? Did you need something?”

Customer: “No, her.” *points to me*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re using the till!”

Me: “I work at a different grocery store. I’m just helping him out.”

Customer: “I can’t believe they let you work here in pajamas!”

Me: “I’m not working right now.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

Cashier: “He’s asleep.”

Customer: “So, what you guys do is wear pajamas and take naps when there are no customers?”

Me: “Well, of course.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay!”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy some sausages.”

Me: “Okay. We have about fifteen different kinds, so which would you like?

Customer: “What’s the difference between the mild, medium, and hot?”

Me: “You mean in the price?”

Customer: “No, in flavor.”

Me: “One is mild, one is medium, and one is hot.”

Customer: “So, which is the hottest?”

Me: “The hot.”

Customer: “…and the mild is hotter than medium?”

Me: “No. The mild is the least hot, the medium is a bit hotter than that, and the hot has the most pepper.”

Customer: “So the mild is mild?”

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “My daughter’s passport photo was just rejected.”

Me: “Did she take it here?”

Customer: “No, it was taken at [other location].”

Me: “What can we do for you then?”

Customer: “It needs to be retaken!”

Me: “Well, if you would like to have your daughter come in we will be happy to take it for her.”

Customer: “She has to be here?”

This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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