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We’re Just Gonna Say It: Your “Security” Sucks

, , , , , , | Working | September 20, 2022

I was in Canada from the USA. I wanted some things I couldn’t find nearby, so I set up a delivery at a drop box for a large online retailer. The nearest one was listed as outside a building. I walked the mile or so to the location, circled the building, and didn’t see anything.

I walked into the building at the same time as someone was walking out. I saw a front desk and a sign that said, “Back in fifteen minutes,” so I waited.

A few minutes passed, and a man came to the door. He paced outside but didn’t open the door or knock to be let in. It occurred to me then that there was probably a key card or something to allow people in the building and I had slipped in when I shouldn’t have.

Finally, someone came to the front desk wearing a “Security” badge. She hit a button and the man outside the door stormed in.

Security Guard: “Hello, [Man]—”

Man: *Pointing at me* “What is wrong with you?!”

Me: “I’m just—”

Man: “You should have let me in!”

Me: “I—”

Security Guard: “[Man], why would she let you in?”

The man pointed to a patch on his shirt. It said, “HEAD OF SECURITY.”

Me: “I’m not from here. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to find the [Company] drop box.”

Man: “You should have let me in!”

Me: “Why would the head of security not have an entry badge?”

The man turned red and stomped off. I turned to the security guard who was trying not to smile.

Me: “I’m sorry. I followed someone in. I’m just looking for the delivery box. I—”

Security Guard: “It’s okay, honey. He knows better; he probably forgot his key card. The drop box is around the back down in the loading dock.”

I didn’t use that location again for fear I’d run into that man again.

Some Say That Courier Is Still Out There Somewhere…

, , , , , , | Working | September 20, 2022

As supply chains become more and more broken, we are experiencing more problems with deliveries and orders, as you would expect. What I find surprising is how companies that used to be really great are now less than optimal. One of our major suppliers has been particularly troublesome.

I sent an email to this supplier to place a “special order” for items not normally carried that would have to be shipped in from overseas. We were given a week during which we could expect the delivery, during which the package did not come. An email was sent to find out a new ETA.

Supplier: “The package was shipped, but the courier got lost and didn’t call anyone.”

Still? Is he out in the woods burning the product somewhere to keep warm? Or does somebody know where the courier — and our package — is now?

A flurry of emails followed.

Me: “Okay, so do we have a new ETA?”

Supplier: “He got lost with the truck.”

Me: “Right. So, does that mean the truck is gone forever? Should we just order this again? Or is the original package going to show up at some point?”

The supplier responded with a copy of our invoice for the product that was lost.

It wasn’t until Accounts Receivable was contacted and told that this (very expensive) invoice wouldn’t be paid — and why — that someone decided it was probably important that we still got our product.

Boris Has A Mighty Need For Caffeine

, , , , , | Right | September 11, 2022

My first job is at a popular Canadian coffee shop. After several years of living overseas immersed in languages I didn’t speak, my ability to decode broken English very quickly makes me the de facto “translator” of the team, despite barely having passed my probation period. I am usually kept as a cashier or order taker because of this.

A VERY large man enters, looking angry.

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Man: *In a Russian accent* “NEED TAKE!”

Me: “Take?”


Me: “What size of coffee, sir?”

Man: *Frustrated* “TAKE! TAKE SIZE!”

I am thoroughly confused, but I have a random thought. This is a very large man, and to a large man, a large may not be big enough. The only thing bigger is…

Me: “Oh! You need a Take-12!”

A Take-12 is an insulated box of fresh, hot coffee with enough for twelve small coffees, along with milk, cream, and sugar.

Man: *Smiling* “YES! TAKE!”

My thought process may be odd, but it quite often works!

Boris Returns And Things Get Heavy
Boris Is Now Swedish
Ivan, Cousin To Boris, Fights Scammers, Too
Boris Delivers When Boris Feels Like It
Boris Can See Through You

Hold Up. Your Boss “Doesn’t Read Her Emails”?!

, , , , , , | Working | September 5, 2022

I work from home as a transcriptionist. I have never met my boss in person as she lives halfway across the province. We only make contact by phone because she doesn’t read her emails, and it has to be by text because she’s calling patients and other healthcare workers all the time, so her phone is always busy. I hate talking on the phone, so this works out pretty well for me.

My boss is very nice and understanding, and I’m lucky to have someone as patient as her considering my random stress outbursts — which have gotten me fired from other jobs before — but she can be somewhat… dense, sometimes.

Last week, when I was printing some documents for her over VNC (remote access), I noticed that her printer had eight documents waiting, so I had no idea if any of my work had been printed. I politely sent her a text letting her know about this issue.

A week later, I was looking over the recordings she had sent me for the day and noticed one labelled “Question about some dictations from last week”. It was basically a three-minute recording of her scolding me, saying that she didn’t see any of my work from that week, something must be wrong with my laptop (because it always has to be on my end, never hers), etc. She finished off with this gem:

Boss: “If something like this happens, you need to let me know.”

Just Fork(lift) Over A New One Already!

, , , , , , | Working | September 5, 2022

Our forklift has been down for sixty-two days, with several repair bills, many new parts, and no end in sight. This ticket crossed my desk today.

Ticket: “Maintenance Request Ticket:

  • Equipment: forklift.
  • Problem: forklift.
  • Parts request: Ruger American Predator, 50-round bag .223 ammunition.
  • Estimated time to fix: 2 minutes until we can finally admit defeat and buy a working forklift.
  • Approval: DENIED.”

No end in sight.