A Buildup Of Spice

, , , , , | Working | April 17, 2019

(I’m on a bus tour of Eastern Canada, and so far I’ve had no reason to complain about the tour or the guide. One evening, our guide takes our party to the revolving restaurant in the CN Tower for dinner and eats with us. Note that I have Asperger’s, which means that repeated small stresses accumulate into really big ones.)

Me: *between mouthfuls* “Hmm. It’s very spicy.”

(I’m just making a comment here. I’m enjoying the spicy food, as well as the view. However, the guide seems to take this as a complaint for some reason.)

Guide: “Oh, it’s all right. I can get you something else—“

Me: “No, that’s all right. I just—“

Guide: “No, really, let me—“

(I’m starting to get really annoyed at this point, since all I want to do is eat the rest of my meal and I don’t need her constant interruptions.)

Me: “I’m not complaining!”

Guide: “No, seriously, it won’t take me a moment to—“

(By now I’ve really had enough.)

Me: “WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FOOD! I LIKE THE FOOD! I’M STILL EATING IT, SEE? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME FINISH MY MEAL IN PEACE!”

(I felt guilty about yelling, especially in front of the others, but at least it shut her up and I was allowed to finish eating. I have resolved never to comment on my food in public again in case somebody takes it the wrong way.)

Digging Yourself Into A Hole

, , , , | Right | April 11, 2019

(Since no one can see me when I’m taking orders in drive-thru, I like to joke around with customers who seem up to it. This almost gets me in trouble after one old man’s complicated order.)

Me: “So that’s [repeats complicated order]? Anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you tell me what time [Coffee Chain’s namesake, a famous dead hockey player] gets in?”

Me: “Well, I’ll have to go dig him up for you.”

(All my coworkers with headsets whip around to stare at me in shock.)

Customer: *long, tense pause* “Huh. That’s a first.” *pulls up*

(Everyone cracks up, and I’m slightly afraid that I’ll get in trouble for such a morbid response. The customer gets to the window and I peek over shyly over the cashier’s shoulder. He and his wife are just about crying with laughter.)

Customer: “I ask that question at all the [Coffee Shop]s, you know, and no one has ever had such a quick, intelligent comeback. That made my day!”

(He left a dollar for a tip. Sometimes having a smart mouth pays off!)

Doo Hickey 3.0

, , , , , | Right | April 10, 2019

(A customer is in the store with her two early-teenaged grandkids.)

Customer: “I need one of those… those thumb things… You know… thumb something.”

Me: “A thumb drive?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

(I grab one and hold it up.)

Me: “We have these promotional ones here, and the rest are in aisle two.”

Customer: “No, that’s not what I want!”

Me: “Oh, sorry, what are you looking for?”

Customer: “A thing for my phone! I want to plug my phone into my computer!”

Me: “Then you need the cord. You should have one already that came with your phone, unless you would like an extra one.”

Customer: “Oh, right, yeah. I have a cord already, but I need the doohickey so I can plug it into my computer.”

Me: “You don’t need anything extra to plug it into your computer; it will just plug into the USB port.”

Customer: “No, it won’t.”

Customer’s Grandkids: “Granny, yes, it will! We told you the same thing!”

Customer: “No, it won’t! I know what I need!”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure what it is you’re looking for, because your cord will plug directly into the computer.”

Customer: “No, I know it won’t!”

Customer’s Grandkids: “Yes, it will!”

Customer: “Just show me what I need to plug it into the computer!”

(The grandkids are sighing and rolling their eyes at this point, looking embarrassed.)

Me: “I assure you, you don’t need anything extra, just the cord.”

Customer: “No! Nope! I know I do!”

Me: *being very firm* “No, you don’t.”

(Her grandkids are now shaking their heads and laughing.)

Me: “Here, I’ll show you.” *grab a cord and walk over to a computer, turning it around so that she can see, and I plug the cord into the computer* “See? This part here goes into the computer, and the other end goes into your phone. That’s all you need to save things from your phone to your computer.”

Customer: “No, I need something extra! A doohickey.”

Customer’s Grandkids: “But she just showed you! It plugs right in!”

Customer: “Well, I’m old! I don’t know anything about technology! What if I want to save it to a thumb drive after? Then I need a doohickey for my phone.”

Me: “No, then you just plug a thumb drive into the computer and copy the files over.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I don’t know how to do that!”

Customer’s Grandkids: “Granny, it’s fine; we’ll show you how to do that.”

(The customer goes off to find a flash drive and one of the grandkids stays up with me.)

Grandkid: “So, how’s your day going?”

Me: “Good, thanks… And yours?”

Grandkid: *pause* “Interesting.”

Have Faith That The Right Thing Will Happen

, , , , , , | Learning | April 8, 2019

(I was bullied terribly through all of public school and high school. I was short, got glasses at a young age, and was raised very religious. My particular faith was not common where I grew up. Bullies liked to pick on this, but often didn’t know enough about my faith to be accurate. This story is one particularly bad and ignorant example. Although I am not Muslim, some students take to calling me “Muslim” as some kind of derogatory nickname. I finally get the courage to discuss the problem with my teacher, who agrees to sit down with me and the two worst bullies. For context, we are all male, and this is eighth grade.)

Me: “They won’t stop calling me names. They call me ‘Muslim’ as if it’s my name.”

Teacher: “What do you mean? Are you a Muslim?”

Me: “No. But they keep saying things like, ‘I don’t want to work with Muslim,’ or, ‘Don’t let Muslim talk to us.’”

Teacher: *to other students* “Why would you call him that?”

Student #1: *making up a desperate excuse* “We thought he really was a Muslim.”

Student #2: *playing along* “Yeah, we thought he was one, so how can it be bad?”

Me: “I told you both repeatedly that I am not, and you’re using it as an insult, and to exclude me.”

(There are a few minutes of he-said-she-said.)

Teacher: “Okay, [Student #1] and [Student #2], stop calling him that from now on. You can all go now.”

(The other students run out of the office quickly, but I stay behind a moment.)

Me: *verge of tears* “So, that’s it? Months of teasing, and you’re not going to do anything.”

Teacher: “Well… they thought you were a Muslim, so…”

Me: “Shouldn’t that actually make it worse?”

(The next day, my teacher is talking to another teacher as I pass by in the hallway. I know that [Teacher #2]’s husband is the same faith that I am. I say this as I walk by:)

Me: *to [Teacher #2]* “Out of the way, Muslim!”

Teacher #2: “How dare you?! That’s the rudest thing I’ve ever heard! Principal’s office, now!”

Me: “It’s okay. I thought you were really a Muslim—“ *locks eyes with my teacher* “—so that makes it okay, right, [Teacher]?”

(My teacher looked super embarrassed as I completely walked away, but from then on, [Teacher #2] would give me knowing looks, and she defended me from bullies the rest of the year. She must have asked my teacher what I meant. I can only imagine that conversation.)

Unfiltered Story #146812

, , | Unfiltered | April 8, 2019

customer to cashier:

Could you tell me where your fresh canned pineapple is?

still not sure if she wanted fresh or canned

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