Here’s Our Two Cents: Go Away!

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2018

(I live in Canada. We have just dropped our one-cent coin from circulation. Prices on cash transactions are now rounded up or down to the nearest five cents, while debit and credit transactions are left “as is.” This is all handled automatically by our tills, and our receipts still show the rounded cash price even on debit transactions. Shortly after the switch, we receive this through our online survey:)

Complaint: “I wish to report an act of FRAUD on the part of your restaurant. I ordered [combo], and my total was shown as $10.10. However, in reality, I was charged $10.12. This is not acceptable, as you are blatantly overcharging customers for their food. I wish to have this error corrected, and as a reward for pointing out this GRIEVOUS ERROR, I will accept my thank-you in the form of three large [sandwich] combos and a $25 gift card.”

(I don’t know if he ever got his “reward” or if anyone explained the changes to him, but he wanted over $50 in freebies over two pennies.)

Cover(sheet) Your Ears

, , , | Right | September 11, 2018

(We have a self-serve fax, with store cover sheets to use for free. When checking customers out, I always ask if they used a cover sheet, since their confirmation sheet doesn’t tell me; it only says how many total pages went through. If they used a cover sheet, we charge one less page than the confirmation sheet says🙂

Me: “Did you use one of our cover sheets today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I charge him for all the pages on his confirmation and he pays.)

Customer: “Wait a second. Aren’t the cover sheets supposed to be free?”

Me: “Yes, but you didn’t use one.”

Customer: “Yes, I did!”

Me: “Only our store cover sheets are free. Sorry.”

Customer: “No, I did use one of yours!”

Me: “You told me you didn’t.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t!”

Me: “Yes, you did. I asked you if you did and you said no.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I wasn’t listening.”

Unfiltered Story #119712

, , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2018

(I’m at a grocery store’s prepared food section with my parents to get dinner. My mom mentions that there’s a deal going on since it’s Thursday.)

Mom: “What’s the deal for today?”

Employee: “It’s ten wings for $7.99.”

Mom: “And what’s the deal with that?”

Employee: “…You get ten wings for 7.99.”

(Both my dad and I burst out laughing. Turns out my mom was asking if the wings came with a side or not. The employee was very good and continued to humour us while we got our food.)

Unfiltered Story #119936

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2018

When I was in grade school I had a really terrible teacher I’ll call Ms. Trunchbull because she was a shot put champion in high school. Now Ms. Trunchbull hated my guts with a fiery passion and being all of nine years old just could not figure out why. In early October the district psychologist had diagnosed me with a mild executive processing disorder, so for the first time I had an IEP (many years later I learned that this was why she hated me). Immediately after she changed all her lesson plans to things that I absolutely could not do and denied me any extra time for tests and assignments. The smallest excuse was used to give me detention, so I was an hour late everyday and never got recess. I tried to tell the support teacher but she either didn’t believe me or didn’t have the power to do anything about it.

Now because I had an IEP our classroom got a computer a full year before every other class because it was supposed to help me learn or something. This was where the Big Bad Terrible Thing happened. You see Dad was a computer programmer, we had a computer so he could supposedly work from home, but if he wasn’t using it I could. Ours was a dos machine and far, far, more complicated to use than the simple IBM terminal in class that could only run programs off floppies (the big ones not the little 3 1/4 inch floppies). The day after we got the class computer, Ms. Trunchbull was very late. So late that the VP was supervising my class of very bored nine year olds. Me being a big nerd even at that age, asked to use the computer to play games and the VP agreed as long as I showed everyone else how to use the computer.

As I was walking my class through playing Number Munchers, the VP got called away. So out walks the VP and about ten minutes later in walks Ms. Trunchbull. To a crowd exclaiming how smart and cool I was. She absolutely lost it. She screamed at me that I was stupid, I was infecting all the normal kids with my stupid and that the entire class had detention for the rest of the week for allowing themselves to be infected with my stupid. From that point on any kid that spoke to me got detention, I was not allowed to participate in gym and she tried to get me barred from field trips.

Up until this point she had plausible explanations for everything but couldn’t explain this away. My parents didn’t believe me, but the other kids told their parents, who complained to the school. Then she screwed up big time. She just left me in the classroom after school for detention, while she went to a staff meeting; a three-hour staff meeting. I was supposed to go over to a friend’s so Mom didn’t know anything was wrong until about 4:30 when my friend’s mom called her wondering where I was. My mom called the school and of course Ms. Trunchbull lied. Unfortunately for her the janitor was doing an early room check and found me reading a book in the cloakroom. I’d like to say that they fired her on the spot but it was my word against hers and she remained my teacher for the rest of the school year.

It did however spark an investigation into her and eventually her contract was not renewed two years later. They made her the computer teacher the next year to minimize her contact with children, and the 5-8 gym teacher the year after. I found out through my friendship with the school secretary that her behaviour towards me was not an isolated incident, during the investigation several parents came forward about her bullying and it was suspected but not proven that she drove a student to suicide (she was his teacher the year he killed himself). She was deemed un-hireable by the school board, so I don’t think she was ever a teacher again.

Paperclipped Their Wings

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2018

(I’m a cashier at a retail chain; this location is inside a mall. One day, a couple of kids, looking around 12 years old, approach my cash register. They hold up a paperclip and explain that they’re trying to replicate the famous “one red paperclip” experiment, in which you start out with a small, low-value object, such as a paperclip, and try to obtain something of much higher value through a series of barters. They ask if there’s anything in the store I can give them in exchange for the paperclip.)

Me: “Um… no, I can’t take a paperclip as payment. I don’t think there’s any store here that will.”

(They thank me and leave. Their speech sounded rehearsed and they didn’t look discouraged in the least, so I assume that they have already tried other stores in the mall and have every intention of trying more. The next customer in line comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Well, that was… bold.”

(I’ve actually always wanted to try this experiment myself, and the original “one red paperclip” experiment is possibly older than those kids are, so I’m rather impressed that they’ve heard of it and that they had the initiative to go for it. I guess they didn’t understand that you trade the items with people, and not stores. I wish I could track them down and find out if their experiment got anywhere!)

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