The Stop Sign Should Be For Her Mouth

, , , , | Legal | October 7, 2019

This story was related to me by one of my friends who is a bit “special.”

My friend was driving on a two-lane highway late at night and came to a stop sign. As she drove up to the stop sign, she looked in her mirror and saw there was a car behind her. She immediately panicked and thought the car behind her wasn’t going to stop, so she went through the stop sign without even slowing down.

That’s when the car behind her put on its lights and sirens.

After the cop pulled her over she tried to explain to him that she had thought that he wasn’t going to stop and was going to crash into her. The officer asked her if she thought that he was driving unsafely. She said yes.

She got a ticket for running the stop sign, but to this day she can’t understand why the police officer wouldn’t accept her excuse.

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Unfiltered Story #168954

, , , | Unfiltered | October 3, 2019

(I work at a popular Canadian coffee shop as a manager. I came across this one customer about ten minutes before my shift was supposed to end at 10:00pm)
Me: Did you get the Orange Pekoe tea?
Customer: Yes
(I can see that she is grabbing a car out of her wallet, so I pick up the debit machine and hold it out the drive through window)
Me: Is it debit or credit?
(I ask because our system has us choose debit or credit)
Customer: Visa
Me: Okay credit
(I hand her the debit machine after I hit the credit button. I took it back once it was done and handed her the tea)
Customer: Do you have a manager here?
Me: No we –
(She cut me off)
Customer: That’s not true! There is always a manager!
Me: We don’t have a manager in store after 6:00pm, but I’m the Supervisor –
(She cut me off again)
Customer: YYOOUURR the Supervisor!
(She had this weird tone as if she couldn’t believe it)
Me: I am. Is there something wrong?
Customer: Humph!
(She just drove off after that, and I was left wondering what the hell that was all about)

The Grey Wardens

, , , , , | Working | October 2, 2019

(We recently had new signage and accents installed in the store. The associate taking over for me comes in ten minutes before her shift and my supervisor asks her what she thinks of the new looks.)

Associate #1: “It’s nice. I like the grey.”

Supervisor: “Grey? What’s grey?”

Associate #1: “The border around the wall there.”

Supervisor: “That’s black.”

Me: “That’s definitely grey.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s the same colour as that sign there!”

Me & Associate #1: “Yeah, that’s grey, too.”

Supervisor: “No way! No, there’s no way!”

Me: *pointing to a black frame* “That frame around that sign there, that’s black.”

Supervisor: “They’re the same colour! I think you guys are playing with me! Ask a customer what colour it is!”

(There are no customers at the front of the store so I go onto the headset.)

Me: *on headset* “Hey, what colour is the new border around the front of the store that used to be blue?”

Associate #2: *on headset* “Um, grey? Why?”

Me: *on headset* “[Supervisor] thinks it’s black.”

Associate #3: *on headset* “It’s definitely grey.”

Supervisor: “No way! I can’t believe this! It’s BLACK!” *steps back, farther away from it, and looks at it from a distance* “Okay, I think I see it now. It’s like a light black.”

Me & Associate #1: “So… grey.”

Supervisor: “No! It’s black!”

(A customer comes up to the front.)

Customer: “What are you looking at?”

Me: “We’re just deciding what colour we think that border is.”

Customer: “It’s grey.”

(I tell the story to my boyfriend. The next day, he comes into the store and goes up to my supervisor with an item.)

Boyfriend: “Excuse me. Do you know if you carry this item in light black?”

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Unfiltered Story #168458

, , | Unfiltered | September 30, 2019

I work at a farm where the public can come visit to look at old farm equipment, see an assortment of different animals and birds up close, feed the goats, and play on big farm style playgrounds. We also have a cafe and gift shop as well as tractor-train rides and puppet shows. It costs $9 per person to get in but children under 2 are free. ( All of this information is on our website and the price per person is in big bold letters / numbers beside the front gate entrance where people pay.) A lady approaches the entrance gate with 3 children. She says one is under two, so I told her the cost was $27.00.

Customer: Okay I will pay cash and can I get a receipt please? That way I can get the parents to pay me back from my daycare.
Me: Of course, no problem! *Hands her receipt and change.*
Customer: *Holding receipt* Does it have the breakdown of cost per person?”
Me: *Motioning to the receipt in her hand and then to the sign beside her.* “Yes it does, and it is $9 per person but children under two years of age are free.”
Customer: *Blank stare*
Me “…. Is there a problem?”
Customer ” $9.00 per person!? Where does it say that? How am I supposed to know that before I come?!”
Me ” All of our information is listed online, and you are welcome to call ahead of time as well to inquire about pricing. The sign beside us also lists our prices and so does you receipt.”
Customer ” Wow, I didn’t realize it was so much money! That is really expensive. Why does it cost so much? Why is it $9.00 per person!?”
Me ” We have to pay our staff to be here, without them we could not run the place. We also have to feed all of the animals and ensure they are in good health, maintain the property so it is safe and interactive, and there are also property taxes, we have many acres here. Those are just a few of the reasons though. *Looks into her eyes and smiles*
Customer: “Ohh… right. Still seems expensive…Well I need to write down the number per person on the receipt so I can tell parents.”
Before I can respond she grabs the pencil out of my hand and writes $9 per person on the receipt, even though it already says the exact cost per person on it. I just stare at her as she walks away.

Two minutes later I hear someone knocking on my window. It is the same lady I just assisted, she is standing right beside our big bright sign that states the schedule for the train rides.

Customer: “What time is the next train ride??”
Me: ” Oh yes, the schedule is right beside you on that yellow sign actually!”
Customer: *Looks to her left*, (the sign is on her right) “Where?! I don’t see it??”
Me: “It is on your right side, and the next train is at 11:00am.”
Customer: * Still looking all around herself but not directly at the sign* “What time is it now??”
Me: 10:45am.”
Customer: “So, when is the train?”
Me: “…. 11:00am, in 15 minutes, you can line up at the fence to your left soon to be early. ”
Customer walks off in the opposite direction for the train without saying anything else or directly looking at the schedule.

Retail Staff Earn Oscars Every Day

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

(I am working behind the customer service counter when a customer comes up to complain about some policy.)

Me: *smiling politely* “I’m so sorry that we can’t do anything about it; we have to follow the policy, too.”

Customer: *crossly* “You don’t look very sorry!”

(I am a moderately good actress and can’t resist the opportunity. Instantly, I crumple up my face into an anguished expression, bring tears to my eyes, and, in quiveringly heartbroken tones, pronounce the following:)

Me: “I am so, so sorry! I am devastated to have to tell you this, but I honestly can do nothing. I wish—” *gulping hard* “—I could do something for you, but there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: *staring with a dropped jaw and bugged out eyes*

Me: *sweetly, in normal voice* “Is that better?”

(The customer closes his mouth, I start laughing, and he joins in.)

Customer: “Wow! You’re an amazing actress!”

(I smile and he grins back.)

Customer: “Well, I guess if you can’t, you can’t, but thanks for the laugh, anyway.”

(And he left with a smile on his face.)

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