(I work in the campus pub of my university. Staff get meals for a huge discount during their shift. Part of our menu is a signature burger. We also have a vegetarian burger. This conversation occurs as a coworker is trying to figure out what to have for their staff meal.)

Coworker #1: “Have you tried the veggie burger here?”

Me and Coworker #2: *shake heads*

Coworker #1: “Do you know if it’s any good?”

Coworker #2: “Well, it is one of the healthier options we have.”

Coworker #1: “Is it anything like meat?”

Me and Coworker #2: “Not really…”

Coworker #1: “Oh. Because I kind of want the taste of meat.”

*awkward silence*

Coworker #1: “Maybe I should just get the regular burger, huh?”

This story is part of the Burger roundup!

Read the next Burger roundup story!

Read the Burger roundup!

(A woman calls into the store. She’s speaking very quietly and I have to ask her several times to repeat herself. Finally, I make out something.)

Woman: “Do you sell vibrators?”

Me: *pause* “Um, ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you again to repeat what you said. I really don’t think we sell what I think you said.”

Woman: “Vibrators.”

Me: “No. No, we don’t.”

Woman: “Isn’t this The Love Shop?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is Toys-R-Us.”

(I am standing at the cash register of our store. A customer comes up and asks about our tulip bulbs, so I point them out and she goes over to them.)

Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to help me count them out?

Me: “Sure, ma’am, how many would you like?”

Customer: “500, obviously. You can’t expect me to do that on my own!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’ll help you for the moment.”

(As we reach the 200-tulip mark, three other customers finish their shopping and line up at the cash. I’m the only cashier, so I go to help.)

Customer: “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I don’t have 500 yet!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to ring these people through. I’m the only cashier on duty. I can help you again once I’m finished.”

Customer: “You b****! You said you would help me, and now you want to back out? I can’t believe this!”

(Suddenly, the customer throws her bagged tulips onto the floor, scattering them everywhere. She then grabs handfuls of bulbs from the bin, throws them around the store, stands up, and marches out.)

(We have international newspapers that we keep behind us at the till. Also, I’m female. I’ve just finished ringing up some British newspapers for a customer.)

Me: “Have a brilliant day.”

Customer: “Can I take a look at your rack?”

(This not only catches me off guard, but all the staff and customers within earshot, who turn and look at us.)

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I just want to see what else you’ve got to offer.”

(Everybody is still staring.)

Customer: *realizing what he’s said* “Oh! Your newspaper rack.”

(I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style of shoe in different colors and the colors vary in price. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”