(My boss and CEO of her company is trying to type up an invoice for a client.)

Boss: “How many ‘f’s’ are in ‘tough’? I’ve tried one and two, but it still says I’m wrong!”

(My coworker is finishing taking an order from a middle-aged man.)

Coworker: *to customer* “Alright, lemme just get your name for the order.”

Customer: “It’s Bernie.”

Coworker: “Okay, it should be ten minutes.”

(My coworker types the customer’s name into the computer. When I go to the labeling machine to grab the stickers coming out, I see “Bunny” printed on the label.)

Me: “Uh, I think you misheard his name.” *shows label with “Bunny”*

Coworker: “No, I didn’t. He said that. I’m sure!”

Me: *to customer* “Just to confirm your name… is it ‘Bunny’?”

Customer: “No… BERNIE. Do I look like a stripper to you?!”

(I work in an airline call center where we make reservations and make changes to existing reservations such as seat/meal requests.)

Customer: “I’d like a window seat for my return trip”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Let me check availability for you.”

(I book the seat for her.)

Me: “Okay, I was able to book you in 31K, which is a window seat on your return flight from Frankfurt to Seattle.”

Customer: “What?! I’m on a PLANE? I thought I was taking a bus?!”

Me: “Yes, I assure you it is a plane, as it is difficult to cross the Atlantic on a bus.”

Customer: “Thanks so much. I am so excited about going on a plane!”

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(My boyfriend and I have both worked in the service industry for years, so we know it can be rough. We had just bought a couch from a furniture company and it arrived without legs. We have been waiting for hours on hold and speaking with various employees.)

Me: “Hi, my couch just got delivered but it doesn’t have any legs.”

Employee: “Okay…?”

Me: “So, can you have someone come and drop them off?”

Employee: “Hmm… well, you know you can buy legs for a sofa from pretty much any hardware store, right?”

Me: “Yes, but I already bought them from you.”

Employee: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you bought a car from a dealership and they gave it to you but it didn’t have wheels, would you ask them where the wheels you already paid for are, or go buy a new set of tires from someone else?”

Employee: “I still don’t really get it.”

Me: “…is there someone else I can talk to?”

(We have a TV in our hotel’s breakfast lounge. A guest is having trouble turning it on with the remote.)

Guest: “Can you turn on the TV, please? I can’t find the right button.”

Me: “Of course!” *turns on the TV*

Guest: “Oh, I didn’t know you had to press that button. Our remotes are different in Sudbury, you see.”

Me: “Sudbury has different remotes?”

Guest: *completely serious* “Yes, they’re quite thicker!”