(The sandwich shop I am working at is overly obsessed with saving money by not wasting food. One day, I am slicing tomatoes when my manager walks in and looks into the garbage can.)

Manager: “[My Name], why did you throw these tomatoes in the garbage?”

Me: “Well, they were moldy.”

Manager: “You can still use them. Just cut off the moldy parts!”

(I watch in horror as my manager then reaches into the garbage can and takes out the moldy tomatoes, cuts off the moldy parts, slices them, and puts them in with the other good tomatoes.)

(I am working as a cashier in the sandwich shop. Two male customers in their sixties are ordering food.)

Me: “So, the debit is ready. Your chip goes in the bottom whenever you’re ready.”

(The customer that is paying tries to complete his debit transaction. However, it returns on my end saying the card was removed before it was completed.)

Elderly Male Customer #1: “What happened? I did everything right!”

Elderly Male Customer #2: “I think you pulled your card out before the machine was done.”

Elderly Male Customer #1: “Pulling out too soon! Story of my life!”

(My two sisters and I work together. One of my sisters gets migraines and has missed a lot of work. She also happens to be a very close friend of the owner’s son.)

Manager: “If your sister misses another day of work, I’m firing all three of you.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Manager: “Nope. I can fire you any time I want. I can fire you right now if I feel like it!”

(The owner’s son has actually been standing quietly behind the manager with his cell phone in hand.)

Owner’s Son: “Hey [Manager], I got my dad on the phone here. He heard what you just said and he’d like to have a word with you…”

(The manager turns bright red and walks away, holding the phone to his ear. The owner’s son turns to me with a big smile.)

Owner’s Son: “Tell your sister I said get well soon!”

(I’m buying a honey-flavored Greek yogurt at the grocery store. The cashier picks it up and looks at me with a look of disgust.)

Cashier: “Who eats this crap?”

Me: “Uh… me?”

Cashier: “Oh!”

(I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t twenty minutes long!”

Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”