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McMahon Would Be Proud

, , , , | Right | May 30, 2010

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

(Note: the customer speaks like a wrestling announcer, which continues for this entire conversation.)

Customer: “I need a medium pizza with four, count ’em, four toppings!”

Me: “All right, let me just grab a pen to write your order.”

Customer: “What are those toppings you may ask? Well, they are mushrooms, green peppers, pineapple, and sliced tomatoes!”

Me: “All right, sir, I have all of that written down and your pizza should be ready in about–”

Customer: “I will return in ten, count ’em, ten minutes, and my pizza had better be ready!”

Me: “Well, we will certainly do our best, sir.”

Customer: “Good! And if your best is not good enough, well, so be it!”

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Nicoteenagers

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2010

(I have just gotten my first job, at age sixteen. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, [My Name], I didn’t know you worked here.”

Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “We were in grade eight together, and I’m only sixteen. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”

Customer: “Yeah, I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m nineteen now.”

Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”

Customer: “I… I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”


This story is part of our Fake ID roundup!

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Odd Quarterly Statement

, , , , | Right | May 24, 2010

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

Customer: *gives me a twenty* “Don’t give me any quarters!”

Me: “All right.”

Customer: “I already have all the quarters!”

Me: “Oh, are you collecting coins?”

Customer: “No, but I already have all the quarters! If you give me any quarters, then I’ll know that I don’t have all the quarters! I’ll have to start all over!”


This story is part of our Weird Checkout Encounters roundup!

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Milk That Lie Dry

, , , , | Right | May 13, 2010

Me: “Here’s your smoothie, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, does this have milk in it? I have a violent reaction to milk! I can’t have milk.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. There’s 2% in it. I can make it with a protein powder but that may have milk products in it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I can’t have it. Just make me a hot chocolate.”

Me: “Ma’am, to make that, I have to use milk.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. I can have milk if it’s hot chocolate.”

Me: “Alrighty.”


This story is part of our roundup about people lying about their health! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

13 Reasons Why Healthcare Workers Should Rule The World

 

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A New Dimension of Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2010

(I pass the customer 3D glasses for his movie.)

Customer: “So these are 3D glasses?”

Me: “Yes, sir!”

Customer: *getting excited* “So, if I put them on and look at you, you’ll be in 3D?”

Me: “Sir, by definition, I’m already 3D.”

Customer: “No. I mean, if I put on 3D glasses and look at you, or anything else, will you become 3D?”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “You’re dumb. Just stop talking.”


This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!

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