Buffalos In The Mist

, , , | Right | July 27, 2010

Customer: “I’m looking for some cheese, but I can’t remember what it’s called.”

Me: “Well, we carry over a hundred different kinds of cheese. Is there anything that you know about it?”

Customer: “It’s a type of Parmesan cheese, and I think it was made from gorilla milk.”

Me: “Gorilla? Uh, do you mean buffalo?”

Customer: “They’re the same thing!”


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For Ditzy Customers, Please Press 2

, , , | Right | July 24, 2010

(I am calling a customer to let them know that their order is in.)

Me: “May I please speak with Mrs. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Speaking.”

Me: “Hi there, this is [My Name]. I’m calling from [Store] to let you know that your order is in, and you can come pick it up anytime.”

*long pause*

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Oh! I’m sorry. I thought you were a recording!”

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Not Down Low On The Download

, , , , , , | Right | July 23, 2010

Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have [Game] for PC?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s $30. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I just wanted to see how much money I saved by downloading it instead.”


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Must Be That Time Of The Month

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2010

(A customer calls in to order tickets.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”

Me: “All right then, and which show were you looking for?”

Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”

Me: “That’s right, we have six shows in our season, and twelve from people who rent our space.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”

Caller: “What month is this?!”

Me: “It’s January.”

Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”

Me: *pause* “February?”

Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”


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See-Through Excuses

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(A customer comes in with four boxes of our crystal product. They are all broken and foggy.)

Me: “Oh, no, what happened to these?”

Customer: “I just tried cleaning them and they all broke!”

Me: “How did you clean these?”

Customer: ” I put them in my dishwasher, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are very delicate crystal figurines. They shouldn’t even be put in water.”

Customer: “Oh, please! Like I’m going to bother cleaning them myself!”


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