Not Down Low On The Download

, , , , , , | Right | July 23, 2010

Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have [Game] for PC?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s $30. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I just wanted to see how much money I saved by downloading it instead.”


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Must Be That Time Of The Month

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2010

(A customer calls in to order tickets.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”

Me: “All right then, and which show were you looking for?”

Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”

Me: “That’s right, we have six shows in our season, and twelve from people who rent our space.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”

Caller: “What month is this?!”

Me: “It’s January.”

Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”

Me: *pause* “February?”

Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”


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See-Through Excuses

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(A customer comes in with four boxes of our crystal product. They are all broken and foggy.)

Me: “Oh, no, what happened to these?”

Customer: “I just tried cleaning them and they all broke!”

Me: “How did you clean these?”

Customer: ” I put them in my dishwasher, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are very delicate crystal figurines. They shouldn’t even be put in water.”

Customer: “Oh, please! Like I’m going to bother cleaning them myself!”


This story is part of our Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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Loonie Toonies

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2010

Me: “Good evening, sir. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I need change for $5.00 so I can leave the maid a tip.”

(The guest hands me a Canadian $5.00 bill and I open my register and take out a ‘toonie’ and three ‘loonies’ and hand it to the guest.)

Guest: *blank look* “What is this?”

Me: “That is change for $5.00.”

Guest: “Is this real?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Guest: “Are you kidding me?”

Me: “No, sir. I assure you that is Canadian change for five dollars.”

Guest: “Is the maid going to understand what this stuff is?”

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Not Quite The Cat’s Meow

, , , , , , | Right | May 31, 2010

(A visitor enters with a large cat carrier.)

Visitor: “Hi, I found a stray cat. They told me to bring it here.”

Me: “Okay, just stay in this room. I’ll get some assistance.”

Visitor: “It’s really nasty; it keeps hissing. I think it wants out. Do you mind if I let it out?”

Me: “Please don’t, miss. We need to evaluate it first.”

Visitor: “No, I really think he needs to be let out. Don’t worry!”

Me: *noticing the loud hissing and snarling* “I seriously advise against opening the carrier!”

Visitor: “Why?”

Me: “Because that is not a cat.”

(The visitor ignored me and opened the carrier. A huge, angry raccoon dashed out, hissing and growling.)

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