Environ-mental

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2010

Me: “Ma’am, would you like a bag to carry any of these items?”

Customer: “No, I’m an environmentalist. I don’t want to add to destroy our environment.”

Me: “Ma’am, security for this store requests that everyone at least receive a bag to know that you’ve bought items here.”

Customer: “You can’t tell me that I have to take a bag and I won’t have it. I refuse to contribute to the garbage problem!”

Me: “Fine. Would you like to keep these hangers that your clothes came with?”

Customer: “No, just throw them out.”

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Empty Cans, Even Emptier Stomachs

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2010

(My friends and I are going door-to-door collecting cans for a food drive at our church.)

Me: “Hello, we are collecting cans of food for [Church]. Would you like to donate?”

Teenage Girl: “So you guys take cans. What about pop cans?”

Me: “No, we only take canned foods.”

Teenage Girl: “Are you sure? I have some pop cans I don’t need.”

Me: “No, we only accept canned foods.”

Teenage Girl: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

(The girl closes the door and bangs around inside for a couple of minutes. Then she opens the door with a handful of cans.)

Teenage Girl: “Here are the cans. I grabbed some pop cans, too.”

(We look at the cans she gave us, and realize that they are all empty.)

Teenage Girl: *to her mom* “I took out the recycling, Mom!”

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I Can’t Hear Myself Think, Part 2

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2010

(Our store plays soft, acoustic music over the speakers. An old man approaches me angrily.)

Customer: “Your music is too loud!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Your music is too loud. I can’t read!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Most people like it.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing music in a bookstore! It should be like a library!”

(He storms off, yelling over his shoulder.)

Customer: “I don’t come in here to buy things; I come in here to read! It should be like a library!”

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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Thai Again

, , , , | Right | September 11, 2010

Guest: “Kamsamnida!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Guest: “Did I not pronounce that right? Kamsamnida! It means ‘thank you,’ doesn’t it?”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I’m Taiwanese, not Korean.”

Guest: “Oh! I’m so sorry! Wow! Taiwanese, eh? Is Thai food good? I’ve always wanted to try Thai food! Teach me how to say ‘Thank you’ in Thai?”

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Cheapskating Around The Issue

, , , , , , | Right | August 31, 2010

(The store is very popular around Christmas time. We have a general rule not to do price adjustments, particularly on Christmas gifts as they are always marked down after the holidays. A customer hands me a receipt; he has no bags with him.)

Customer: “I’d like to do a price adjustment for these gifts.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t do price adjustments.”

Customer: “Well, then I’ll return them and buy them back on sale. So give me back the money for them.”

Me: “I can’t give you back money for products that you don’t give back to me.”

Customer: “I’m just going to buy them back for the sale price right away anyway, so just give me the money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without the products, I can’t give you any money back or do a price adjustment. If you bring in the products I will gladly return and resell them to you.”

Customer: “I’ve already given them away! They were Christmas gifts for my family, you idiot!”

Me: “Can you let your family know that you want to take their gifts back so that you can get some money back from them?”

Customer: “What do I look like to you, some kind of cheapskate?!”

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