In For A Penny…

, , , , , | Right | February 5, 2018

(Working at a meat counter, I have long since come to terms with the fact that many apparently functional adults have no idea what a pound is, or a kilogram, either, for that matter, but this episode stands out in my memory. The customer looks to be about 25 or so.)

Customer: “What does 200 grams of ground chicken look like?”

Me: *puts some ground chicken in a bag and weighs it* “This is 220 grams.”

Customer: “Oh, no. I wanted pounds.”

Me: “Okay, sure. How many pounds? Two?”

Customer: “No, two hundred.”

Me: “You want 200 pounds of ground chicken.”

Customer: *with absolute conviction* “Yes.”

Me: *long pause* “Okay. Well, we don’t have that much in the store. We can probably order it in for you, but it’ll be a few days.”

Customer: *gets confused look* “What? Wait. How much is a pound?”

Me: *holds up same bag of chicken* “This is half a pound.”

Customer: “Oh! No, I’ll have two pounds, then.”

Me: “Two pounds, I can do.”

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Toying With The Numbers

, , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(The restaurant I work in has toys that go with the kids’ meals. There are various ones that change from time to time. Right now they are a very popular series of characters that are highly sought-after.)

Customer: “What toys do you have?”

Me: “We have numbers three and nine.”

Customer: “That’s all?”

Me: “That’s all for now. We may have another one later this week.”

Customer: “Do you have number five?”

Me: “No, just numbers three and nine.”

Customer: “Oh. Well do you have the [costume styled] one?”

Me: “No, just the two.”

Customer: “You have number two?! Well, I need that one; I’ll take one!”

Me: “We don’t have number two. I said we have two numbers: three and nine.”

Customer: “Well… do you have number seven?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re very unhelpful.”

Me: “Sorry.”

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, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(A customer comes up to my till with a large tote bin and a smaller plastic filing box. They are the same price.)

Customer: “Why is the smaller one the same price!? That’s just stupid!”

Me: “Well, it’s because the smaller one is for filing.”

Customer: “I’m not putting files in it!”

Me: “You don’t have to put files in it. But it’s more expensive because it has that lip around the inside edge to hang file folders off of.”

Customer: “But I’m not putting files in it! I’m putting junk in it!”

Me: “Okay. You can put whatever you want in it. But it’s still a file box, and that’s why it’s expensive.”

(He ends up getting a different box, instead. Then he tries to pay with his debit card.)

Customer: “It’s not working!”

Me: “What’s the screen saying?”

Customer: “’Enter PIN’!”

Me: “So… enter your PIN?”

Customer: *while entering his PIN* “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

Me: “You’re not done yet.”

Customer: “Because it’s not working! Your machine is stupid!”

Me: “Um, the machine is working; you just have to put your entire PIN in, and then hit ‘okay’ for it to work.”

Customer: “But it doesn’t say on the screen that I’ve entered anything!”

(I look at the debit machine screen.)

Me: “Yes, it does. It has three stars there, showing you’ve entered three numbers.”

Customer: “It’s supposed to have my numbers!”

Me: “No, it isn’t, because your numbers are supposed to be a secret.”

Customer: “Every other store shows my numbers!”

Me: “I assure you, they don’t. Just finish putting in your PIN and it will work.”


(This went back and forth for about five minutes, with his debit transaction canceling three times. It finally worked because he finally put his PIN in. The sad part is he came back the next day to return one of the bins and we had the same problems trying to refund his debit card!)

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Not Working With Any Real Agency

, , , , , , | Working | February 1, 2018

(Recently I have lost my job and I am desperately looking for work to stay afloat. I have registered with several agencies but despite them making big promises, all my efforts to stay in contact either go unanswered or are met with vague replies. One day another agency calls me about a job I recently applied for. They go through the position with me and ask me details about my experience. For a moment, I think this might actually be going somewhere. The agent then mentions me coming into the office and signing up. This is something I have heard before, so almost instantly my guard goes up and I decide to probe further.)

Me: “So, when exactly is the company looking to interview for this role?”

Agent: “Oh, I don’t think we’re going to be able to forward you for this role.”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Agent: “We need two written references and a security check done by the end of today, and as it’s 3:00 pm now, that’s probably unlikely! So, what day can I—”

Me: *interrupting* “If there wasn’t a job, why the hell didn’t you say so?”

Agent: *long pause* “Um… We, err… wanted to go through this and see if you were a good fit for this job.”

Me: “BUT THERE IS NO JOB! What the hell?!”

Agent: “So, what day can we pencil you in for?”

Me: “Save it; there is no way in hell I am registering with you. I don’t appreciate being lied to like that!”

Agent: “Hold on now. Let’s just talk a little about this.”

Me: “No. I am really desperate for work right now and you strung me along. That gives me a real poor impression of your company!”

Agent: “So, what day do you want to come in and—”

Me: “Don’t contact me again!”

(That was the last I bothered using an agency! Thankfully, a couple of weeks later I found a new position, but I have sworn off agencies ever since then.)

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No Penny Is Worth These Thoughts

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2018

(In Canada we recently got rid of the penny. We round up or down for cash transactions. A customer comes up and orders a medium coffee refill and a muffin.)

Me: *$2.86 shows up on screen* “That’ll be $2.85.”

Customer: “It’s normally $2.75.”

Me: “You asked for a medium refill, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s $2.75.”

Me: “Well, on my till it’s coming up as $2.85, and as far as I’m aware, that’s the price it’s always been.”

Customer: “I ALWAYS PAY $2.75!”

(Not wanting to argue, I charge her for a small refill, thus making her total $2.76.)

Me: “That’ll be $2.75.”

Customer: “IT’S NORMALLY $2.75!”

Me: “Yes.”


Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: “FINE!” *throws cash at me and runs away*

Me: *to my coworker* “Did that lady just get angry over a penny she wasn’t even being charged for?”

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