A Lax Understanding Of Tax

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2017

Customer: “$10 combo, to go.”

Me: “All right, that’s $11.13, with tax.”

Customer: “But I’m paying cash.”

Me: “So?”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay taxes if I pay with cash, right?”

Me: “…”

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What The Function?!

, , , , , , | Related | October 29, 2017

(I’m in grade 11 and am talking about school with my older sister, who has graduated high school and is in college. My sister got… not ideal grades in high school, while I have done quite well.)

Sister: “High school is useless.”

Me: “No, it’s not!”

Sister: “It’s completely useless.”

Me: “Grades are important!”

Sister: “No, they aren’t.”

Me: “They are for getting into college.”

Sister: “I had terrible grades, and I wasn’t rejected from anywhere I applied to.”

Me: “Yeah, well, what if I go into a math field? Then my math grades will matter.”

Sister: “Eww, why would you want to subject yourself to that?”

Me: “I don’t know. Math can be fun.”

Sister: *dramatic gasp* “Ah!” *holds out her fingers like a cross* “Get away from me, you demon!”

Me: “What the—”

Sister: *runs into our grandparents’ apartment*

Me: *follows her* “[Sister], what are you doing?”

Sister: “Ah!” *hides behind grandma* “[My Name] said math was the F-word!”

Grandma: “What!?”

Me: “I said fun. I said math can be fun.”

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A Total Balls-Up

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | October 29, 2017

(I am an usher at a sports arena. During a game, two teenage girls with signs saying it is their first game catch a ball. A few seconds later, two kids run down from seats five rows behind the girls and ask them for the ball. When the two girls refuse, their section turns on them.)

Man: “Give the kids the ball! They’re kids! What’s it to you?”

Girl #1: “It’s our first game! We caught the ball; we want it!”

Women: “Gosh, you girls are b****es!”

Girl #2: “What the h*** is wrong with you people? If we won the lottery and two kids demanded our winnings would we be forced to give them to them? We caught this ball fairly! What the f***?!”

(A man in the row behind them ripped the ball out of their hands and gave it to the kids, who ran back to their mom. Their mom smirked at the teenagers and patted her kids on the head. Now, I have been in this arena for seven years and, as such, have the respect of my manager and staff. During intermission, my manager came over to check in on me and I told him what happened. My manager’s sister is a supervisor in guest service, and with some strings pulled, she got them two balls and vouchers for hotdogs, and moved them out of their area as their section was still angry with them. Obviously, it was not the same as getting the ball the girls had caught, but they still got balls out of it.)

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A Fresh Pot For A Rotten Attitude

, , , , | Right | October 27, 2017

(We mark coffee pots with the time they were put on, and rotate them so the oldest pots are served first. If a pot sits longer than 20 minutes, it’s tossed. Despite all of this, I still have this conversation every time I serve this regular.)

Regular: “I want a cup of coffee. Your freshest.”

Me: “Coming right up.”

(There are two pots that were put on at the same time, but one has slightly less because I’ve already poured a cup from it.)

Regular: “No! Not that stuff; use the other pot!”

Me: “Ma’am, they were both put on at the exact same time.”

Regular: “No, they weren’t! That one’s half-empty!”

Me: “See where I’ve written on them? They both say 12:15. I just served the customer before you a cup from this one, but they were made at the same time.”

Regular: *grumbles* “Lazy little… Just gimme my d*** coffee.”

Me: *sighs*

(Every time… eventually I decided to just shut up and serve her from the full pots. A supervisor found this out and scolded me for it. Eventually, he had to serve her, too, and apologized to me, saying I was right all along.)

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Air Heads

, , , , , | Friendly | October 26, 2017

(I am at the grocery store when two “stereotypical” teenage girls walk by. I catch this snippet of their conversation.)

Teenage Girl #1: “Oh, my God, like, have you ever wondered what air tastes like?”

Teenage Girl #2: “Like, I never have even thought of that. You’re, like, a total genius.”

Teenage Girl #1: “I’m, like, going to ask our science teacher this question. I bet he doesn’t know the answer, either!”

Teenage Girl #2: “Yeah, he’s going to have to totally admit you’re smart now! LOL!”

(I, too, was “laughing out loud,” but not for the same reason that they were.)

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