(My boyfriend is playing an online game with some of his friends and I’m on my computer browsing Pinterest. I catch part of their conversation: apparently, they’ve started talking about their girlfriends. Neither of us are particularly romantic.)

Boyfriend: *to his friends* “Yeah, my girlfriend is awesome. She loves to cook, helps me keep the house clean, and she crochets some really awesome stuff. She’s actually looking for crochet patterns right now.”

(He listens to his friends for a moment then laughs.)

Boyfriend: “No, dude, you don’t understand: she doesn’t just make hats and gloves like your grandma. I mean, yeah, she made me an awesome R2-D2 hat but she also made me the Enterprise.” *pause* “Yeah, THAT Enterprise. It’s sitting on a shelf in our living room.” *pause* “She’s definitely a keeper. In fact, hey, [Best Friend], would you be my best man?”

(I turn to give him an incredulous look but can’t help laughing.)

Me: “Really?”

Boyfriend: *pulls off his headset and turns to face me* “So, how about we get married on Halloween next year? That’s your favorite holiday, isn’t it? I figure we could do The Nightmare Before Christmas for the theme since it’s your favorite thing ever.”

Me: *laughing* “Sure, let’s do it. Let’s get married on Halloween. I’ll make a Pinterest board for it and start saving ideas.”

(He claps once then turns back to his game and puts his headset back on.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, so, save the date, [Best Friend]. We’re getting married on October 31, 2016 and you’re going to be my best man.” *pause* “Yes, she agreed.” *pause* “No, she wasn’t mad. You guys just don’t understand her like I do.”

This story is part of our Proposals roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Sweet Stories About People Who Don’t Deserve A Free Dessert

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I and a couple of real-life friends are playing the online survival game called “Rust.” We meet someone in-game and he seems like a nice guy so we allow him to join us. We set up camp and log off for the night. When we log on in the morning we are all dead, and he has stolen our gear.

We then proceed to spend the next hour hunting him down, and find his base and evidence he has done this sort of scam many times. We take everything and place down landmines so when he returned he would get an explosive reward for his evil behavior.

(This conversation takes place over the chat feature of a popular social networking site. I have recently accepted a friend request from a guy that I went to high school with, but never knew very well. It should be noted that if one were to actually look at my profile, it is obvious that I am in a long term relationship.)

Guy: “I just wanted to say that you’re absolutely beautiful.”

(I’m surprised, since this is the first I’ve heard from him in ten years, but decide to attempt to proceed graciously.)

Me: “That’s nice of you to say, thank you.”

Guy: “You’re welcome! How have you been?”

Guy: “I think you should go to dinner with me.”

Me: “That’s a kind offer, but I’m not sure my boyfriend would appreciate that very much. Know what I mean?”

Guy: “Yeah, but that would only apply if he knew. Just saying.”

Guy: “75% of relationships have one or the other cheat. I’m not asking you to cheat. Just go to dinner.”

(I was so astounded that I didn’t respond right away. An hour and a half later…)

Guy: “Was that a no?”

Me: “97% of statistics are made up on the spot.”

Guy: “That’s true but that’s a real stat.”

Me: “Thank you, but I am not interested in dinner.”

Guy: “Fine. But if anything changes, I really would love to take you.”

Me: “I haven’t gotten where I am by sneaking around and I’m not about to start now.”

Guy: “Well, you never know.”

(I stopped responding at that point. Some people just can’t take a hint!)

(I’m building myself a new computer. For this I have ordered some hardware from a small but well known electronics mail order company. There’s only one part that isn’t in stock but the website says they’ll receive a batch within the next few days. However, after a month this item still hasn’t arrived. I call the hotline.)

Me: “Hi! I ordered some computer parts from you about a month ago and, even though the website said [item] would be available again within the last weeks, I still haven’t received it. I understand that you can’t do something about supply bottlenecks but I wanted to know how much longer it’s going to take and maybe cancel the order and order [other more expensive item].”

Employee: “Wait, just let me pull up your order. Oh, yes. I see what you mean. And you said you’ve waited for a month? In this case I’d be happy to upgrade you to [more expensive hardware] without any additional costs. Would that be okay for you?”

Me: “Wow, okay. Yes, of course. I’m thrilled. Thank you so much.”

(Few days later I receive a parcel from said online shop. I open it only to find an item which is actually both much cheaper and worse compared to my initial order. I call again.)

Me: “Hi. I called some days ago about [hardware]. Since you did seem to have a bottleneck with this part you offered to send me [more expensive item]. I’ve now received [hardware half the price of my initial order].”

Employee: “Oh, yeah. That was me. I talked to my supervisor and he said I couldn’t upgrade you to this particular part but since you were waiting for so long I thought you’d may be okay with [less expensive item].”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, I’d like to send it back to you and order somewhere else. Could you do a refund?”

Employee: “I could but are you sure? You got [less expensive part] free of charge!”

(After a short discussion I gave up. He didn’t understand that I didn’t get it for free but would pay around 200€ more than the actual price. After he refunded me I ordered somewhere else.)

(A package of clothes I’ve ordered online was supposed to be delivered a few days earlier, but I never received it. I contact the clothing company. They contact the delivery company, who starts their investigation to try to find the package. The delivery company contacts me two days later to inform me they can’t find it and are closing the investigation, and I should contact the seller to inform them and go with their next steps.)

Me: *after giving the incident number to the customer service rep* “I was just contacted by [Shipping Company] who completed their investigation but couldn’t find the package. What do I need to do next?”

Customer Service: “It’s only been two days since the investigation began. The investigation takes 15 days. You’ll hear from [Shipping Company] when they complete the investigation.”

Me: “Sorry, I think I was unclear. [Shipping Company] already contacted me. They completed their investigation and have now closed the investigation. They couldn’t find the package and told me to contact you.”

Customer Service: “It’s only been two days. [Shipping Company] will contact you after 15 days to let you know the results of their investigation.”

Me: “[Shipping Company] already contacted me to let me know the results of their investigation. The closed the investigation already.”

Customer Service: “You will have to wait the 15 days for [Shipping Company] to complete their investigation. They will call you when they are done. Then you can give us a call again and we can move forward.”

Me: *weeps*

(I gave up and contacted them again on day 15. I asked for them to resend the clothes, but they just refunded me. Sigh. Good enough, I guess.)