I’m an artist, and I’m making custom laser-printed keychains. I charge anywhere from $4 to $7 per keychain, plus shipping, which depends on how many you order. I get an email from a customer wanting to order.

Customer: “I want [design]. I can send you $3 for it.”

I laugh. The design in question is actually one of my more expensive ones since it’s got a longer print time.

Me: “Hi there! [Design] is actually $7, as well as $3 for shipping.”

A little later, I get a reply.

Customer: “I will only pay $3.”

Me: “I cannot make and ship your order for $3, unfortunately. The shipping cost is what I pay at the post office, which is why it’s charged separately.”

Customer: “You get the wood cheap, anyway. $3 or nothing.”

Me: “I actually pay a fair amount for the wood. Doing any order for the amount you’re wanting to pay would result in a net loss for me.”

Customer: “You’ve lost a sale. That’s bad business.”

I’m not quite sure how doing essentially free work for a stranger is bad business, but at least they left me alone.

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

Read the next crazy-online-shoppers roundup story!

Read the crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

As a rule, I don’t swear, to the point where people are surprised when I say, “Dang it.” My friends swear a bit, but this has never caused any friction and usually results in me jokingly telling them, “Language!” while they joke about me being an innocent child.

Me: “Fffffffffffffffffff—”

Friend: “Are you going to swear?!”

Me: “Fffffffffffffffff—”

Friend: “THIS IS A HISTORIC MOMENT! MY INNOCENT CHILD IS ABOUT TO SWEAR!”

Me: “FFFFFFFFFFFFFF—”

Friend: “I BELIEVE IN YOU!”

Me: “Ffffffffffffffffrick.”

Friend: “I’m so proud.”

We are about to move house, so we are selling anything we don’t want to take with us. There are a lot of children’s things that our kids have outgrown and are pretty bulky, so we want to get rid of them quickly.

Everything is clean, in good condition, and really cheap, so some items go within the hour. Others have lots of interest but just need transport arranged, etc.

One woman messages me on a few items.

Customer: “Are they available?”

Me: “Yes, they are!”

I don’t hear from her again. I get rid of pretty much everything that day, and after a few days, the items nobody wants go to the charity shop.

A whole week later, the customer from before contacts me again.

Customer: “I will collect them tomorrow and will only pay what you’re asking if they are in excellent condition.”

Me: “Well, there has been a lot of interest and nearly everything has gone. But as it happens, someone let me down on the last item and I am available tomorrow.”

Again, I hear nothing back until later that night, and it’s a one-word reply.

Customer: “Okay.”

I’m not too thrilled with her demanding attitude. At this point, she doesn’t know where I live nor have I actually agreed to sell to her, so I don’t feel like chasing her. Around lunchtime the next day, I get a message.

Customer: “I’m free now; I can collect [item].”

Me: “That’s fine. My address is [address]. How long do you think you will be? I am working from home, so I’m pretty busy.”

I get nothing back. An hour later, I see a car pull up; a woman in her early forties with nice clothes, designer handbag, etc., gets out. She strides up to the door and bangs very hard, ignoring the doorbell.

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “I’m here for the baby bouncer.”

Me: “Yes, I—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Is it clean? It should be clean if you are selling it.”

As I’m bringing it to the door:

Me: “Yes, it’s clean and disinfected. The lights, sounds, and movement all work fine. No damage or marks. It’s pretty much brand new and I have the box and receipts.”

She looks almost disappointed.

Customer: “Well, I, err… I can only pay you £20.”

Me: “It was £160 new; the advert was £30, no offers.”

Customer: *Smirking* “I will leave it, then.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Bye, thanks for coming!”

With that, I closed the door on her. She stood at the door motionless for a while before getting back in her car, looking shocked that her ploy didn’t work. 

I ended up taking the bouncer with us after we moved — couldn’t donate it without a fire tag — and sold it to a very grateful new mum near the new house.

About that time, we ended up selling a load of furniture after we moved. That customer commented on most of them, as well, even telling other commenters that they were sold when they weren’t.

I blocked her, but not before letting her know that I don’t sell to time wasters.

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 14
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 13
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 12
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10

This story is part of our Garage Sale roundup!

Read the next Garage Sale roundup story!

Read the Garage Sale roundup!

I’m playing a certain online game where one player is given the objective of killing the others in secret while the others have to figure out who the killer is and vote them off before it’s too late. Players are not allowed to communicate with each other during normal gameplay except during a meeting, and dead players are not allowed to communicate at all.

In this particular game, I get assigned as the killer. I get a few decent kills in, and then one player calls a meeting.

Player #1: “It’s [My Name]! They just killed my friend! He just texted me.”

Player #2: “Okay.”

All the remaining players immediately vote for me without regard to the blatant cheating. I hold off on my vote, though, so I can object.

Me: “Dude, that’s f****** cheating!”

Player #1: “[Player #5] is my friend. They said you killed them. RIP.”

Player #3: “How is it cheating?”

Player #4: “Yeah, [Player #1] figured out it was you.”

Me: “Only because their friend texted them.”

Player #3: “So?”

Me: “Communicating outside the game isn’t allowed.”

Player #1: “Says who?”

Me: “Says the creator.”

Player #2: “Show us where exactly it says we can’t text each other.”

At this point, the vote timer ran out and I got voted off before I could respond. I immediately left the lobby and searched for a new one. The next lobby wasn’t much better. After I got chosen as the killer again, the host banned me from the lobby out of spite just for killing them.

Not all my games have been this bad, but it still felt pretty sour to get two scummy lobbies in a row.

I’m looking for a used phone on a social media marketplace. It’s a temporary replacement until payday, so I’m not looking for anything fancy. I find one simply listed as “[Brand] phone – $50”. It has a picture of the phone, but nothing that states the model, year, operating system, condition, or even size of the phone. From the picture, I can’t see any cracks or cosmetic damage, so I decide to message the seller for more information.

Me: “Hello! I saw your listing and was hoping to find out the generation and condition?”

Seller: “[Brand].”

Me: “Yes, I see it’s a [Brand]. What kind is it, though? A [top-tier model]? A [lower-tier model]? How old is the phone?”

Seller: “You wanna buy it?”

Me: “I’m interested. If I can get some more information…?”

The seller then calls me via the chatting/selling app. I get a creepy gut feeling and don’t answer. Once he hangs up, I message him through our conversation.

Me: “I’d like some more information before I call. I know it’s a [Brand], but what kind?”

As I am typing my next message, the seller calls again. He calls twice more. At this point, I’ve decided I’m no longer interested. He sends me a large emoji of a thumbs up.

Seller: “You want the phone or not?”

Me: “Not anymore. I was hoping to find out more information before I decided whether or not to buy, but it’s no longer necessary. Thank you for your time.”

He calls again, but this time he leaves a voice message.

Seller: *Static, shuffling* “Bruh! You want this phone or not? It ain’t that hard! So, you gonna buy it today? Where you wanna meet up?” *Pauses and smacks lips* “Man! I ain’t got time for this! You want it or nah?!” *Click*

At this point, I decided my gut feeling was right and I was scared. I blocked the seller before he could call or message me again. The next day, my boyfriend found a great deal on two used phones that ended up being upgrades for both of us.