This takes place in a relatively popular Minecraft server for my area, where everyone is challenged to build the biggest, best build they can. I personally love modern-looking mansions, so I decide to build a huge one, and since I’m gay, I put a rainbow beacon set on the roof. It is huge, and it takes me weeks of logging on during every spare moment I have to finish just the outside. I start on the inside, but I have to log off for the night.

When I log back in the next morning, I can’t see the rainbow beacons. There are hundreds of other modern mansions that are just as big and spectacular as mine, so it will take me at least thirty minutes to look, but I have to be somewhere in thirty-five minutes. I decide to take the fast route and just chat [Moderator #1] to see what happened. I am also acquainted with [Moderator #1] in real life, so I have an idea of what happened.

Me: “Hey, [Moderator #1], do you know what happened to my rainbow beacons that were on top of my mansion? I can’t find it otherwise, because it looks so similar to everyone else’s.”

Moderator #1: “Oh, those? Yeah, the person that lives in your mansion now took them off.”

Me: “In my mansion?! I didn’t give anyone permission to be in my mansion!”

Moderator #1: “Oh, well, you gave me permission to sell one of your other mansions, so I figured you wouldn’t care if I sold this one.”

Me: “I only gave you permission to sell that mansion because it was small and crappy! This one I’m not even done with yet, and it’s the hardest build I’ve ever made!”

Moderator #1: “Whatever. It’s not my problem that you didn’t clarify it was just the one mansion. If you want to complain further, here’s the gamertag of the person that lives in your mansion now. [Moderator #2].”

[Moderator #1] then logs off, leaving me to talk to [Moderator #2] alone.

Me: *Fuming* “Hey, [Moderator #2], I need to talk to you.”

[Moderator #2] reads all the chats.

Moderator #2: “Yeah, [My Gamertag], I kind of figured that out. I’m so sorry and I had no idea he didn’t have permission from you to sell the mansion. I also thought I got scammed since the inside wasn’t even finished.”

I’m relieved that [Moderator #2] isn’t an a**hole like [Moderator #1].

Me: “Yeah, the reason it wasn’t finished is that I didn’t know he was going to sell it. I’ll get him to give you a refund.”

Moderator #2: “He’d better give me a refund! I spent four emeralds and three wither skeleton skulls on this house!”

Me: “Oh, also can you put the rainbow beacons back up? I have to leave now, but that’s the only way I’ll be able to see it when I log back in.”

Moderator #2: “No problem. Also, after he gives me my refund, [Moderator #1] is getting banned!”

[Moderator #1] did end up paying back [Moderator #2] in full, he gave me an apology, and then he got banned for selling property without permission from the owner. I finally finished my house, and I also never saw [Moderator #1] in person or on Minecraft again.

I am an amateur clown and my kids are begging me to teach them how to make balloon animals. I go to a big online retailer to find a balloon pump just like I have and order two from one of their marketplace sellers at $20 each. I receive two pumps that are of such poor quality and so cheap that I doubt even a dollar store would carry them. I message the seller immediately.

Me: “I received the balloon pumps. These are not the ones you have pictured or advertised.”

I include pictures of what I already had and what they sent.

Me: “You can see that what you sent is of extremely poor quality and would not last one party of balloon making. I would like for you to either send what I ordered and paid for or refund my money.”

Seller: “Oh, so sorry, friend, for the mixup. It would cost much to send back; how about we give you $1 off of each?”

Me: “$2? Are you kidding? They aren’t even worth that.”

Seller: “Okay, friend. We did send you two balloon pumps. To keep you happy, how about $10 off the order? Is that good, friend?”

I’m really annoyed.

Me: “First off, I am not your friend. I am a customer, and a very unhappy at one at that. Second and most importantly, you did not send me what I bought. I have sent you pictures and the information you need to prove that. I want a full refund, and if you send me a return label, I will send it back. If you do not refund my money, I will open a complaint of fraud against you with [Online Retailer]. You cannot advertise one item and then send some cheap knockoff and expect a customer to just accept that.”

They never responded, but my money was refunded. I did report them to the retailer and left a detailed review of the product, warning others to be careful who they buy from. I saw later that the seller was removed from the marketplace after several negative reviews.

A new customer is attempting to get set up for online payments with us and is having difficulty with our systems.

Customer: “I keep getting error messages that don’t make any sense!”

I have several usernames associated with his account, each of them an email address, all of which are variations of his name, like [Customer1]@[website], or [Customer12]@[website].

This conversation takes place via email, from yet a different email address, none of which is one of the ones I already have.

Customer: “I’m not seeing an option to add a payment method when I log into your website.”

Me: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you tell me what username you’re logging in with?”

Customer: “Mine.”

Me: “Um. Okay. Let me try again. Can you tell me exactly what letters or numbers, in exactly what order, you are typing into the box that says, ‘Username,’ on our site?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s my email address!”

Cue head-desk.

I did finally manage to get him to send me a screenshot of what was happening.

He was using yet again another different email address, not the one he was emailing me from or any of the ones I had on file. This turned out to be associated with a different account altogether. He did eventually make his payment, though!

Related:
Email Fail, Part 28
Email Fail, Part 27
Email Fail, Part 26
Email Fail, Part 25
Email Fail, Part 24

We offer different payment methods, and invoicing is quite popular. One thing with this payment is that the customer has up to thirty days to pay, but if they are late, they will get a dunning for 10,000 Danish Kroner — about $1,600. This usually makes them either confused, angry, or apologetic, but it tends to work without any big dramas… except with this one customer.

The whole conversation is through email in English.

Customer: “Why have you sent me this dunning? I have returned the order! I should not have to pay anything!”

Coworker #1: “It was sent automatically since we hadn’t received any payment. But since we have received your return, you don’t need to pay anything. Just ignore the dunning; we will remove it after a while.”

Customer: “No, I don’t agree! I have to pay the 10,000 DKK!”

Yes, they literally said that they don’t agree with us and that they have to pay.

Coworker #2: “No, you don’t need to pay this invoice. We have received your return, so there is nothing to pay.”

Customer: “Yes, I will pay! I need your bank details, so I can transfer the payment.”

Coworker #3: “Our bank details are [number], but I will repeat what my coworkers have said: you don’t need to pay this invoice.”

Customer: “I need the IBAN!” *International Bank Account Number*

I opened the email chain at this point and could not do anything but laugh at the whole situation. Never have I ever gotten a customer who wanted so badly to pay for an invoice. We had already removed the dunning by this point, so there literally was zero left to pay. I tried to explain it again and to highlight that there was nothing to pay on this order, but I don’t know if he understood it. We’ll see when the next coworker gets the customer again.

During the health crisis, my high school has both in-person schooling and online schooling available, except when the state government prohibits in-person classes. We only have one and a half days in our last “week” before holiday break, so almost everyone is online for those couple days, even though we’ve recently received the okay to go back to in-person schooling.

My AP English teacher, who has gone into the digital age kicking and screaming, is quite put out that everyone showed up in his video call and no one is in his classroom.

Teacher: “Why are you all staying home, anyway? Wear two or three masks if you’re scared!”

Me: “Because when I do online I get an extra half-hour of sleep.”

Teacher: “That’s a sucky priority.”