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Asking Laboriously

| UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I run a small online business, and my most recent customer’s order has encountered a problem with shipping. While in the middle of trying to organise getting the customer’s item shipped to him, my partner starts going into labour. I throw together a quick message to the customer to explain the situation.)

Me: “Unfortunately you’re going to need to wait for an update on your orders shipping, as my partner has just started going into labour and I’m going to be preoccupied with that for the next day or two. Rest assured I’ll get back to sorting out your items shipping as soon as possible. Once again, sorry for the delay.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Three hours later.)

Customer: “Hey, any update on my order?”

(I’m not sure what child-birthing he’s heard of that takes less than three hours to complete and for someone to get back to work after! He sent no less than five messages over the next 24 hours asking for further updates to his order.)

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Failed In The Delivery

| AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I’m selling an old set of rims online and receive a message about them.)

Potential Buyer: “Hi, are these still available?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly are!”

Potential Buyer: “Would you consider dropping the price a bit?”

Me: “Well, since they’re used, I’ll accept a reasonable offer.”

Potential Buyer: “Great! Would you accept [$100 less than asking price]? Oh, and could you deliver to [City five hour drive away]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but gas alone to get there and back will be about $150. I can accept that offer on the condition you pay for the travel, since it’s very out of my way and inconvenient.”

Potential Buyer: “That’s ridiculous! I’m not paying for your gas! This is horrible customer service! Why won’t you deliver for free?!”

Me: “Um, wow. Okay, well, in that case I’m going to refuse you service. Good luck in your search. Please don’t message me again.”

A Free Piece Of Advice

, | Cork, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion

(I work on chat support for customers. This one caller has been enquiring about getting a product, a well-known smart watch, for free like he saw on a prank video on Internet. This is the end of the conversation where I try to explain him why we don’t just give away free stuff.)

Me: “[Customer], let’s say you earn money to make a living by making a product and selling it. How would you react if a person asked you to give him one for free? You wouldn’t be very happy that this person would get a product but you wouldn’t get the money you need to pay your taxes and your food?”

Customer: “I would let him take it if he didn’t have money and God will always fix it.”

Me: “Now, let’s say that 100 people heard about what you did and all asked one for free. Soon you wouldn’t get any money at all.”

Customer: “No, God will fix it, but if he really doesn’t have any money I will give him one. God always fixes that.”

Me: *finally snapping* “Okay, then, you can ask God to send you a watch for free!”