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Failed In The Delivery

| AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I’m selling an old set of rims online and receive a message about them.)

Potential Buyer: “Hi, are these still available?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly are!”

Potential Buyer: “Would you consider dropping the price a bit?”

Me: “Well, since they’re used, I’ll accept a reasonable offer.”

Potential Buyer: “Great! Would you accept [$100 less than asking price]? Oh, and could you deliver to [City five hour drive away]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but gas alone to get there and back will be about $150. I can accept that offer on the condition you pay for the travel, since it’s very out of my way and inconvenient.”

Potential Buyer: “That’s ridiculous! I’m not paying for your gas! This is horrible customer service! Why won’t you deliver for free?!”

Me: “Um, wow. Okay, well, in that case I’m going to refuse you service. Good luck in your search. Please don’t message me again.”

A Free Piece Of Advice

, | Cork, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion

(I work on chat support for customers. This one caller has been enquiring about getting a product, a well-known smart watch, for free like he saw on a prank video on Internet. This is the end of the conversation where I try to explain him why we don’t just give away free stuff.)

Me: “[Customer], let’s say you earn money to make a living by making a product and selling it. How would you react if a person asked you to give him one for free? You wouldn’t be very happy that this person would get a product but you wouldn’t get the money you need to pay your taxes and your food?”

Customer: “I would let him take it if he didn’t have money and God will always fix it.”

Me: “Now, let’s say that 100 people heard about what you did and all asked one for free. Soon you wouldn’t get any money at all.”

Customer: “No, God will fix it, but if he really doesn’t have any money I will give him one. God always fixes that.”

Me: *finally snapping* “Okay, then, you can ask God to send you a watch for free!”

Attracting A Fridge Magnet

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Technology

(I am in the business of buying items from auctions and selling them online. This guy had one of the most interesting haggling techniques over a practically new mini fridge. This conversation occurred over several days through text message.)

Customer: “Still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

Customer: “I was wondering if you would take $50 for it.”

Me: “I can’t for that low. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What’s the lowest you will go?”

Me: “$75.”

Customer: “$50 max. It has a scratch and a dent. I see it in the pics.”

Me: “That’s why I’m asking so low. It’s worth $150. Thanks, anyway.”

Customer: “$75 is not low.”

(Three hours later:)

Customer: “Well, what’s the lowest?”

(I decided not to respond as I had already told him my lowest price and we had too big of a discrepancy to continue.)

Customer #2: “Hello, do you still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, I still have it.”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Me: “$85.”

Customer #2: “I’ll give you $50.”

(I start to wonder if this is the same guy. Since I was using an anonymous texting service, texts come through as separate threads rather than one conversational string between two people. I go back and look at the previous string and realize this is the same person, as if I won’t recognize that it’s the same number.)

Me: “Lowest I can do is $75.”

Customer: “Is it in perfect condition?”

Me: “We discussed this last night. The price has not changed. You are clearly interested. Why don’t you come have a look? The scratch on the outside has no effect on the functionality of the fridge. The inside is pristine, like new. You can purchase it for $75 or you can go to the store and buy a new one for over $150 or look for a smaller fridge that fits in your budget. $75 is the lowest I will go. Let me know if you are interested.”

Customer: “Not interested for $75.”

Me: “Best of luck to you.”

Customer: “You’re too far, anyway. You live in the middle of nowhere.”

Me: “…Then why did you contact me?”

Customer: “Cuz I’ll go for $50, duh.”

Me: “Haha, okay. Have a good one, man.”

(Four days later, guess who texts again…)

Customer: “Will you take $50 for the fridge?”

Me: “It’s still $85. Please stop asking if I will take $50. If you want it, the lowest is $75. If not, please look elsewhere.”

Customer: “D*** it.”

(Over a month later, I have since sold the fridge for the price I was asking and have acquired two more.)

New Customer: “Hello, do you still have the fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

New Customer: “Will you take $40?”

Me: “I’ve got two posted, one for $90 that’s brand new and another for $75 that’s not… So, no, I can’t do $40. I could do $80 for the new and $60 for the other.”

New Customer: “All right, thanks.”

(My boyfriend jokingly suggests that maybe this is the same guy. We laugh and poke fun and play ‘what if,’ but I decide to go back through my texts and check. It is A MONTH AND THREE DAYS since our last contact, and sure enough, IT’S HIM.)

Me: “If you’re asking about the one we talked about last month, I sold that weeks ago for full price. These are new fridges I have.”

Customer: “Crap.”