Failed In The Delivery

| AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I’m selling an old set of rims online and receive a message about them.)

Potential Buyer: “Hi, are these still available?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly are!”

Potential Buyer: “Would you consider dropping the price a bit?”

Me: “Well, since they’re used, I’ll accept a reasonable offer.”

Potential Buyer: “Great! Would you accept [$100 less than asking price]? Oh, and could you deliver to [City five hour drive away]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but gas alone to get there and back will be about $150. I can accept that offer on the condition you pay for the travel, since it’s very out of my way and inconvenient.”

Potential Buyer: “That’s ridiculous! I’m not paying for your gas! This is horrible customer service! Why won’t you deliver for free?!”

Me: “Um, wow. Okay, well, in that case I’m going to refuse you service. Good luck in your search. Please don’t message me again.”

A Free Piece Of Advice

, | Cork, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion

(I work on chat support for customers. This one caller has been enquiring about getting a product, a well-known smart watch, for free like he saw on a prank video on Internet. This is the end of the conversation where I try to explain him why we don’t just give away free stuff.)

Me: “[Customer], let’s say you earn money to make a living by making a product and selling it. How would you react if a person asked you to give him one for free? You wouldn’t be very happy that this person would get a product but you wouldn’t get the money you need to pay your taxes and your food?”

Customer: “I would let him take it if he didn’t have money and God will always fix it.”

Me: “Now, let’s say that 100 people heard about what you did and all asked one for free. Soon you wouldn’t get any money at all.”

Customer: “No, God will fix it, but if he really doesn’t have any money I will give him one. God always fixes that.”

Me: *finally snapping* “Okay, then, you can ask God to send you a watch for free!”

Attracting A Fridge Magnet

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Technology

(I am in the business of buying items from auctions and selling them online. This guy had one of the most interesting haggling techniques over a practically new mini fridge. This conversation occurred over several days through text message.)

Customer: “Still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

Customer: “I was wondering if you would take $50 for it.”

Me: “I can’t for that low. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What’s the lowest you will go?”

Me: “$75.”

Customer: “$50 max. It has a scratch and a dent. I see it in the pics.”

Me: “That’s why I’m asking so low. It’s worth $150. Thanks, anyway.”

Customer: “$75 is not low.”

(Three hours later:)

Customer: “Well, what’s the lowest?”

(I decided not to respond as I had already told him my lowest price and we had too big of a discrepancy to continue.)

Customer #2: “Hello, do you still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, I still have it.”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Me: “$85.”

Customer #2: “I’ll give you $50.”

(I start to wonder if this is the same guy. Since I was using an anonymous texting service, texts come through as separate threads rather than one conversational string between two people. I go back and look at the previous string and realize this is the same person, as if I won’t recognize that it’s the same number.)

Me: “Lowest I can do is $75.”

Customer: “Is it in perfect condition?”

Me: “We discussed this last night. The price has not changed. You are clearly interested. Why don’t you come have a look? The scratch on the outside has no effect on the functionality of the fridge. The inside is pristine, like new. You can purchase it for $75 or you can go to the store and buy a new one for over $150 or look for a smaller fridge that fits in your budget. $75 is the lowest I will go. Let me know if you are interested.”

Customer: “Not interested for $75.”

Me: “Best of luck to you.”

Customer: “You’re too far, anyway. You live in the middle of nowhere.”

Me: “…Then why did you contact me?”

Customer: “Cuz I’ll go for $50, duh.”

Me: “Haha, okay. Have a good one, man.”

(Four days later, guess who texts again…)

Customer: “Will you take $50 for the fridge?”

Me: “It’s still $85. Please stop asking if I will take $50. If you want it, the lowest is $75. If not, please look elsewhere.”

Customer: “D*** it.”

(Over a month later, I have since sold the fridge for the price I was asking and have acquired two more.)

New Customer: “Hello, do you still have the fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

New Customer: “Will you take $40?”

Me: “I’ve got two posted, one for $90 that’s brand new and another for $75 that’s not… So, no, I can’t do $40. I could do $80 for the new and $60 for the other.”

New Customer: “All right, thanks.”

(My boyfriend jokingly suggests that maybe this is the same guy. We laugh and poke fun and play ‘what if,’ but I decide to go back through my texts and check. It is A MONTH AND THREE DAYS since our last contact, and sure enough, IT’S HIM.)

Me: “If you’re asking about the one we talked about last month, I sold that weeks ago for full price. These are new fridges I have.”

Customer: “Crap.”

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity, Part 2

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work for an online gourmet food shop. They sell all kinds of neat things, ranging from gourmet sea salts to flavored sugar and spice blends. I was working the phones when I got this beauty of a call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do your natural sea salts have any sodium in them? I need sodium-free natural sea salts.”

(Now I know they make fake ‘sea salt’ in labs for people who shouldn’t have too much salt, but these are NATURAL sea salts. CLEARLY LABELED.)

Me: “I’m afraid they do, ma’am.”

Customer: “Every last one of them? I need to find natural sea salt that doesn’t have any sodium in them!”

Me: “I’m… very sorry, ma’am. All of our NATURAL sea salts do have sodium in them.”

Customer: “Ain’t that some bull****. F*** this place.” *click*

Jon Snow Ordering Online

, | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The customer has ordered incorrectly. It is an item he cannot return because it’s final sale and it’s marked down.  All policies are in the FAQ.)

Me: *after explaining the policy* “You’re supposed to choose the color and size you need.”

Customer: “I didn’t know that!”

Me: “We have the steps on how to place an order in our FAQs.”

Customer: “I didn’t know that!”

Me: “With all due respect sir, but we hold you responsible in placing your orders correctly. You’re aware that you placed an order ONLINE, right?”

Customer: “I didn’t know that! Someone’s supposed to assist me, like in a real store!”

Me: “We’re an online store sir. Like in every website, we have the policies in the FAQ and the chat room if you have questions. It is never advisable that you avail of something you have no idea of.”

Customer: “I didn’t know that!”

Page 1/512345