I am bringing out dessert for a table of customers that have been rude and disrespectful all evening. I am at the end of my tether with them.

Customer: “Uh, excuse me. Forgetting something, are we? We ordered some coffees with our dessert.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I just left them in the kitchen along with my extra arms.”

They wisely didn’t push me on that matter or complain!

Customer: “This furniture set seems expensive. What kind of discount can you give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t give you any discount.”

The customer gets very upset. She continues to ask for a discount, and I continue to refuse.

Customer: “I always get my way. Don’t underestimate me.”

Me: “I wouldn’t do that. Clearly, you’re impossible to underestimate.”

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 25
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 24
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 23
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 22
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 21

Customer: “I’ll take four of the Boston creams.”

Me: “That’ll be $7.96.”

Customer: “I thought they were 99 cents each?! I have the coupon!”

Me: “That was a promotion we had last week. It ended yesterday.”

Customer: “But I have the coupon!”

Me: “It has expired, sir.”

Customer: “Well, is there anything you can do for me?”

Me: “We don’t have anything on sale right now.”

Customer: “That’s so unfair!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir.”

Customer: “Are you really very sorry?”

Me: “Well, I am really very sorry that you can’t read expiry dates.”

Customer: “I… I guess I deserved that.”

 I work in a pet store, and my coworker is helping a customer.

Customer: “Are these lizards reptiles?”

Coworker: “Maybe the chameleons could be if they’re very clever?”

They ended up buying a hamster 

Related:
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 6
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 5
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 4
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 3
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 2

In my defence, this has been a long day full of very stupid questions, and I am at the end of my customer service tether.

Customer: “Where is the 0.5mm plastic?”

Me: “It is located in Wall Coverings.”

Customer: “What department is this?”

Me: “Floor Coverings.”

Customer: “There’s a difference?”

Me: “Only in houses based on Euclidian geometry.”

Customer: “In what now?”

Me: “Let me take you to Wall Coverings, sir.”