Customer: *walks up to the counter* “Hey, you guys forgot my fork and croutons!”
Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Here you are.”
Customer: “Well, don’t I get free food because you guys messed up?!”
Me: “You get a free fork and croutons.”
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(An older gentleman is shopping for his first cell phone.)
Customer: “I need a phone that rings loud. My hearing isn’t so good.”
Me: “Well, this phone has vibrate mode so you can feel it ring.”
Customer: “Vibrate? You mean like a vibrator?”
Me: “Well, I suppose so, yes. But the warranty doesn’t cover liquid damage.”
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Customer: “My garbage disposal is clogged up.”
Me: “What is stuck in your garbage disposal?”
Customer: “A crystal ball.”
Me: “A what?”
Customer: “My crystal ball rolled off the counter and fell in my garbage disposal.”
Me: “You didn’t see that coming?”
This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!
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(I am assisting a man holding a small and medium shirt.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m just thinking about S and M.”
Me: “I’ll leave you to that, then.”
(The store allows you to pay off your store credit card bill at any of their stores. I am in the store paying off the company’s bill at one of the regular checkout stations. I have my five-month-old son with me in his carrier, which I put on the counter while the clerk is scanning the statement stub and the check. Another customer comes up behind us, sees the carrier, but no items, on the counter, and the clerk scanning a check.)
Customer: “Is she buying a baby?”
Clerk: *without missing a beat* “Yep, she got the last one on the shelf.”
