When They Feel They’re Entitled To The Price, But Not The Facts

, , , | Right | October 22, 2020

Part of being a car salesman is that we get phone calls from people browsing the Internet, trying to find the cheapest deal anywhere.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Dealership]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “I was looking on the Internet and found a [car model] advertised at a dealership in Massachusetts for $26,000. Will you price match them?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s so far outside our market area that it’s not even funny. I’m in Oklahoma. Where are you calling from, and what’s the name of that dealership?”

Customer: “I’m calling from Colorado. The dealerships here all have their [model] priced at $30,000 or more and I want one for $26,000 like [Massachusetts Dealer] has advertised.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m familiar with that dealership. If you scroll down on their page, you’ll see that they also say that to get the advertised price, you must trade in a 2005 or newer car. Then, if you look at their Google page, you’ll see that while they’ll sell you a car at such a low price, they will typically only give you $1,000 trade value for a $7,000 car.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to trade anything in. I just want you to give me that price. My local dealers won’t do it.”

Me: “Ma’am, since that price you want is more than $2,000 less than the invoice price of the [model], which is the hottest selling SUV on the market right now, how does it make any sense whatsoever for us to do this?”

Customer: “But I want it for $26,000.”

Me: “Good luck with that, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

I hung up then before I told her what I was really thinking, about people in a very hot place wanting ice water, too.

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Acting Like A Spoiled Queen

, , , | Right | October 22, 2020

Occasionally, we’ll get a complaint at the front desk about our beds. Usually, this is just from someone not used to staying in hotels who doesn’t understand that their bed is not going to be their exact preferred firmness; I’ve gotten complaints both of too-soft beds and too-hard beds, so it really is just individual preferences not matching up with reality. However, this is the most bizarre complaint about them I’ve ever received.

Guest: “Excuse me! The beds in my room are not what I paid for!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, how do you mean?”

Guest: “I paid for two queen beds and that is not what I got!”

I apologize and bring up the guest’s reservation, thinking she was somehow moved to a room with only one bed, only to find that she IS in a two-queen room.

Me: “Er… I’m sorry ma’am, this says you are in a room with two queens.”

Guest:No! Those are full-size beds; I want queens!”

I have no idea how to react to this, because what she is saying is completely impossible. Our hotel doesn’t HAVE full beds; the only two-bed configurations we offer are two queens or one king. There is literally no way the beds in her room are full beds because none exist in the hotel.

Me: “Ma’am… I don’t know what to tell you. Those are queen beds. We don’t stock full-size mattresses—”

Guest:No! I sleep on a full bed every night and those are full-size beds! I demand a room with two queens!

Me: “Ma’am, I could move you to another two-queen room, but the beds would be exactly the same. If you really need a larger bed, then I could move you to a single king but—”

Guest:I am here with my sister! I need two beds! Two!

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you want me to do.”

Guest: “I want you to give me a room with two of your ‘KING’ beds!”

Yes, she used air quotes.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not allowed or able to do that. I don’t even think two king beds will fit in one of our bedrooms, and even if they could, it would be against fire codes to have that much furniture in a room not designed for it.”

Guest:This is unacceptable! I paid for queen beds! Queen. Beds!”

She continued to rant and rave, but the only thing we could think of to appease her would be to offer her a second, comped King room, and we were sold out and unable to do that. In the end, she checked out and we refunded her, with her swearing up and down that she would be writing corporate about our “false advertising.” Never before or since have we been accused of downsizing our beds, so I have no idea what that lady’s problem was.

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Until You’re Purple In The Face

, , , , , | Working | October 21, 2020

I’m checking in for my monthly infusion. There are several receptionists, so I don’t often see the same one.

Receptionist: “I like your outfit!”

Me: “Thanks. I was glad to find I had an overshirt that matched the tank top.”

Receptionist: “You look good in purple. You wear a lot of it.”

Me: “I like how some shades bring out my eyes, but I don’t know that I wear it that often.”

Receptionist: “You were wearing it last time and then this time, too.”

Me: “I don’t think so. Last time, I wore the blue shirt over the black with the flowered collar, and the time before was black and red. It has to have been three or four months since I wore purple here and there are only two purple things I’d wear here.”

Receptionist: “Exactly! Like I said, you wore it last time. You should get more.”

Me: “Okay…”

Receptionist: “I just love purple. Is purple your favorite color?”

Me: “No, not since I was little.”

Receptionist: “Well, it should be!

The receptionist mercifully went to get my paperwork and returned to finish silently, giving me steely-eyed stares because I dared to have a favorite color other than purple.

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The Only Good Things About The Fifties Were The Music And Fashion

, , , , | Working | October 20, 2020

My dad came to the USA from Germany in 1953. He was working in a factory in Oklahoma. As he was single, a black friend from work invited him for Thanksgiving with his family. A good time was had by all.

The next day at work, he was called into the manager’s office.

Manager: “So, I hear you had Thanksgiving at [Friend]’s house.”

Dad: “Yes, he has a nice family.”

Manager: “Now, you listen here. [Friend] is a [racial slur] and you’re a white man. You don’t like them, and they don’t like us. If you want to work here, you’ll remember that!”

My dad left the company soon after.

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Part Of The Mumble Lobby

, , , | Right | October 20, 2020

Our lobby has a constantly running fountain in it, as well as the standard muzak. It’s not terribly loud, but it does mean you have to speak clearly to be understood from across the check-in desk. A guest comes in one night and is already a pain from the start.

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Guest: “Check in.”

Me: “All right! Last name, please?”

The guest mumbles his name and I can’t make it out over the ambient noise.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

The guest repeats himself, but in the exact same tone and inflection, so I still can’t hear it. This is actually a pet peeve of mine; if someone asks you to repeat yourself, clearly your original stab at it wasn’t effective, so why would you do the exact same thing and expect a different result? I have to have him repeat it a third time, and again, he doesn’t modulate his volume or pronunciation at all, but I’m leaning way over the desk and am able to hear him and check for his name. I can’t find it.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a reservation under that name.”

Again, the guest growls his reply, and again I have to have him repeat it, though at least this time I lean forward first so I don’t have to have him say it a third time.

Guest: “I don’t have a reservation.”

He says this very aggressively as if I should have somehow known that.

Me: “Oh! Well, in that case, I have two-queen bedrooms available at [price].”

Guest: “I want a king.”

It is about 1:00 am on a Sunday morning; we’re quite full and he’s lucky we have rooms at all.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any king rooms available right now, only two-queens.”

More mumbling. I’m double-checking the availability and have to lean back again to do so, so I miss it the first time and have to have him repeat himself again.

Guest: “I want a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t offer discounts just because the hotel is out of king beds. I can offer you a two-queen; otherwise, I can recommend the hotel across the street, but I can’t guarantee what sort of availability they have.”

Guest: “But I want a king. Give me a discount.”

Me: “Sir, if you’d made a reservation for a king and for some reason we didn’t have it, then I might be able to give you a bit of a discount, but I can’t discount your room just because you waited until the last minute when all of our rooms were sold. If you were making a reservation online and we didn’t have the room type you wanted, you wouldn’t get a discount, you’d just have to pick a different type of room or look at another hotel.”

Guest:Fine. I’ll take it, then!”

He throws his card at me, another pet peeve of mine, and also pointless because we don’t swipe the cards ourselves; there’s a terminal on the guest’s side of the desk. I push his card back toward him.

Me: “If you’ll just pop your card into the reader there, we can get you set up.”

The guest shoves his card into the card reader and mumbles something again. I’ve leaned back again to be able to see my computer screen, so once again, I miss what he said.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you say that again?”

Guest: *FINALLY actually speaking up* “You know, I don’t know what’s wrong with your hearing! I don’t think I’m speaking that quietly!”

I am completely taken aback and fight the urge to point out that, clearly, he IS speaking too softly if I have to consistently ask him to repeat himself.

Me: “Uh… Well, I’m sorry, sir, but sometimes it’s hard to hear over the noise of the fountain.”

Guest: “Hmph. Whatever.”

He kicks off at a few more things through the check-in process, like the fact that I won’t give him a comped late checkout just because he’s checking in late. He returns to mumbling his words, too, but if I don’t catch it, I just smile and nod now rather than asking him to clarify. He finally stomps up to his room, and my coworker turns to me.

Coworker: “For the record, I couldn’t hear him, either.”

Me: “I should have told him I was partially deaf to try and make him feel like the a** he was being, but with an attitude like that, he’d probably have just b****ed about me being allowed to work the desk with a disability.”

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