Ready… Set… Ready?

, , , , | Right | January 5, 2019

(I answer the phone at work and go through my normal spiel. The caller wants Accounts Payable.)

Me: “Sure. May I tell her who’s calling?”

Caller: “Yes.”

(Silence for a few seconds on from both of us. I’m about to repeat myself when…)

Caller: “Tell me when you’re ready.”

(Lady, I was ready when I asked the question!)

Making Spam Is Somebody’s Job

, , , , , | Working | January 3, 2019

(At my current workplace, I’m one of the more knowledgeable front desk agents. This is partly due to having been there for several years, and partly due to having actually been management for a short period before requesting to go back to my previous position. I’ve decided that I no longer enjoy the hotel business and have been looking for a new job, but I haven’t had much luck. My manager is aware of this and has mentioned that he’s glad not to lose me quite yet. The following takes place over text.)

Me: “So, [Manager], you know how my job hunt hasn’t been going too well?”

Manager: “Yes, and shamefully, selfishly, I am glad for that.”

Me: “Yeah, about that… I just got an email from [Institution where he knows I applied for a job].”

Manager: “Don’t open it! It’s spam!”

(It was not spam, and much to my manager’s chagrin, I have an interview later this week.)

Throwing In The Towel For This Year

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2018

(It is New Year’s Eve, and it’s INSANELY busy in our hotel. It falls on a weekend this year, so more people are out to celebrate than usual, and at least half of them have brought their children, and probably their friends’ children, as well, since most of the rooms have between two and four kids in them, some even more. To make matters worse, due to it being the end of the year, corporate decided to meddle in our scheduling for budget reasons, and we are incredibly understaffed for the volume of people we are taking care of. There are a great many issues during the night, but one recurring one is towels. The pool is forever running out of towels. One of the many guests approaches my desk.)

Guest: “Excuse me! Why aren’t there any towels in the pool?! How does a hotel run out of towels?!”

(She has four children in tow. Each one has a towel around their waist and one over their shoulders and a few have a third on their heads)

Me: *in as even a voice I can muster* “I don’t know, ma’am. I’ll get right on that.”

(We actually ran out of towels because most people were taking the dirty ones to their rooms and leaving them there, instead of putting them in the hamper by the pool, so there weren’t even any available to wash. Thankfully, it was only in the last hour of the night that we ran entirely out.)

Using Spanish To Complain About Thai

, , , , , | Working | December 16, 2018

(I take a friend, her daughter, and her daughter’s friend to a Thai restaurant that friends and family have loved to go to for many years. I haven’t been there in many months, but I promise my friend great food. Unfortunately, I am very disappointed with my meal and she is with hers. The girls order from the kids menu, and I think they got better food than we did. I am really feeling bad about this and I’m not sure what to say. My friend and the girls are very obviously Hispanic, and a busboy, even more Hispanic looking, comes up to the table. He starts talking to my friend, and the following conversation ensues, loudly and in Spanish.)

Busboy: “How was your meal?”

Friend: “Not really so good.”

Busboy: “I’m not surprised. The place has really gone downhill recently. You should really try [Competing Thai Restaurant nearby].”

Friend: “Thanks. Maybe we will.”

Busboy: “I’m not going to stay here much longer. They don’t treat staff very well.”

(I was a bit taken aback by the bluntness of the conversation, and glanced around. It seemed I was the only non-Hispanic in the room who knew what they were saying. Since I look as gringo as they come, the busboy might have either figured I didn’t know Spanish or that my Latina friend trusted me enough. Either way, the conversation made me chuckle later, and I figured that the restaurant would figure out their own mistakes when the books began to run in the red.)

A Notable Lack Of Note Noting

, , , , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(I work in a loan office. My guests are generally very easy going, but occasionally they have fits like this one. Also, while requiring an ID for every loan has been a policy at my company for a while, I am the new manager and apparently the first one to adhere to this policy.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Guest: “I need to pay off my loan and renew it.”

Me: “No problem. It’ll be $565.56 to pay off, and I’ll need a check and your ID.”

(The guest pays their loan and signs their check, and I begin to fill out the information on it — a service we offer because it’s 2018 and no one really knows how to fill out checks anymore.)

Me: “Awesome, [Guest], and I’ll need your ID, as well.”

Guest: “You need my ID? When did that start? I’m in here all the time and I’m never late. I’ve been coming here for 20 years!”

(He continues about how it’s all but unconstitutional that I ask him for his ID when I’m about to give him $500 and ask him to sign a contract.)

Me: “Sir, have you ever seen me before? Do you know me?”

Guest: “No?”

Me: “And I don’t know you. Besides that, it’s our policy to scan an ID when we issue a loan, every time. It’s been the policy for a while; everyone else should have been asking you, as well.”

Guest: *finally providing ID* “Fine, but why don’t you take ID for payments, as well?”

Me: “A lot of people send in relatives or friends to pay their bills because they’re at work; it would be silly to not let a guest’s husband pay their bill if the guest were at work.”

Guest: “That’s ridiculous. I would never ask anyone to come to pay my bill for me! I’m not even married!”

Me: *ignoring him and trying to process the loan*

Guest: “Don’t let anyone pay my bill!”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll put a note in your account saying we need ID for every transaction.”

Guest: “Yeah, put a note in my account!”

(Two weeks later:)

Guest: “I need to pay off my loan and renew it.”

(He places the money on the counter, but I don’t make a grab for it.)

Me: “Awesome. I will need your ID, please!”

Guest: “What? I thought you only needed my ID for new loans!” *cue almost verbatim the same rant*

Me: *cutting him off* “Yes, sir, but I have a note in your account, per our last discussion, that you don’t want anyone else paying on your account and you’d like us to ask for ID for every payment!”

Guest: “Oh… That’s stupid; take that out.”

(I laughed after he left; from insanity or hysteria, I don’t really know.)

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