Not One Ounce Of Understanding

, , , | Right | February 17, 2021

Our drink sizes are small, medium, large, and Route 44.

Customer: “I’d like a large Route 44 [Soda].”

This happens occasionally, and usually, when customers say it, they just mean a Route 44 size. I always ask for clarification, though, just in case.

Me: “I’m sorry, did you want a large size or a Route 44 size?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The large size is thirty-two ounces and the Route 44 is forty-four ounces.”

Customer: “Oh, which one’s bigger?”

Me: *Pauses* “The one with more ounces is bigger than the one with fewer ounces.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, I want the Route 44, then.”

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Thanks, But No Spanks

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2021

An older lady comes up to my register with a lot of groceries. As I am scanning her items, a young male customer who comes in every morning to get an energy drink gets in line behind her. 

Female Customer: *To me* “You remind me of my grandchildren!”

I’m unsure of how to take this.

Me: “Oh, well, thank you.”

Female Customer: “You know what I like to do with my grandchildren?”

She leans in over the conveyor belt and says with a wink:

Female Customer: “Spank them.”

I am so taken aback, I don’t even know how to respond. I look at the guy behind her, and his eyes go wide open, too. 

I am stammering, trying to think of some way to make this conversation appropriate, but I can’t think of anything. The old lady then turns to the guy behind her:

Female Customer: “You’ll help me spank him, won’t you?”

Male Customer: *Completely red-faced* “Oh, um, I don’t know, yeah, I guess.”

I was so taken aback and embarrassed by the whole conversation that I didn’t even say anything for the rest of the transaction. After the lady left, the other customer — who was apparently okay with helping an old lady spank another young guy — refused to look at me for his whole transaction. I never saw either of them ever again.

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Needs To Learn To Say, “None Of Your Business”

, , , , , | Right | January 23, 2021

I work at a store in the Bible belt. I am an eighteen-year-old female. The customer I am helping to purchase a computer is a sour-faced, very conservative- and old-fashioned looking woman of around fifty. She begins telling me that she has just started to try to date again after her husband passed.

Customer: “I don’t know where to meet good men. I never dated except my husband. All these men on the dating websites want to go to bed with me right away. I am not that kind of woman and they don’t understand that.”

Me: “I understand. I haven’t tried online dating, but my friends talk about how awful people are on there.”

Customer: “I am a good Christian woman. I have only been with my husband, and I don’t plan on being with anyone until I have my next husband. The Lord doesn’t want you going to bed with a bunch of people. These men say they are Christian, but they’re sinners.”

I am nodding along in agreement, because all I can do is try to get through the interaction.

Customer: “You aren’t married, are you?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you a virgin?”

Me: *Honestly, but awkwardly* “Yes.”

Customer: “Good girl! You are living a good Christian lifestyle. You will be rewarded with a good husband. I was.”

I am not religious, but I know it’s better to play along than say anything. I’m whoever I need to be on the clock. I have had pamphlets about churches shoved in my hand, I’ve been tipped with fake money with proverbs on it, and I’ve had several different people ask me if I’d found Jesus and if He was in my heart, all while I was just trying to do my job, but she is the only one to question my chastity and purity.

I have no issue with people’s beliefs, but please don’t put service people on the spot. They are being paid to give good customer service and this puts them in a very awkward spot.

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Getting Nowhere At This Rates

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I work in a call center, taking customer service calls for a fairly popular online bank. A woman calls in asking about our interest rates. Great! I start quoting her some of what we offer.

Customer: “God, this is so confusing! I don’t get you people’s rates. This makes no sense!”

Me: “Well, I apologize for any confusion you may be experiencing, but I would be more than happy to clarify. May I ask what aspect of this is confusing you?”

Customer: “No, you most certainly cannot! What you can do is get me your manager!”

Any time a customer asks for a manager, company policy requires that we try to de-escalate the call at least once.

Me: “Well, I really would like to help you, ma’am—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Bulls***! Get me your manager, now.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is it all right if I put you on hold while I get a hold of them for you?”

Customer: “Yes, fine, whatever! I can’t f****** believe this.”

I put the customer on hold, get my manager, and explain to her everything that has happened so far. She then takes over the call. Another note: the way we do that, I can now only hear my manager’s end of the call; I cannot hear the customer.

Manager: “Hi, Ms. [Customer]. My name is [Manager]. I was told you wished to speak with me?”

There’s a pause while the customer speaks.

Manager: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve had this exper—”

Presumably, the customer cuts her off here.

Manager: “You know what? Let me look into this for you and see what might be going on. Is it all right if I put you on ho—”

Again, she is presumably interrupted.

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, and I do sincerely apolo— Aaaand she hung up.”

The manager turns to me.

Manager: “She was claiming you called her an idiot, but I know you, and there is no way that is even remotely true.”

We ended up reporting the customer to corporate, who listened to the recording and decided they didn’t want this woman anywhere near our bank. She was subsequently barred from doing business with us.

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They Rib You About It Every Few Years

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2021

I am at a fast food restaurant. Every couple of years, they have a specialty sandwich that I am very fond of. In my town, we have five of this restaurant chain, and I find out that this year, only one of the locations — the one farthest from me — is participating in the newest rerelease of the sandwich. As I don’t drive, I go out of my way in a rideshare to visit the restaurant two days after the sandwich is supposed to be in stores.

Me: “I’d like the combo with two [Sandwiches], please.”

Employee: “Er, see that truck out there?” *Points* “That’s all of our [Sandwiches]. They just got here, late. This evening is the earliest we’ll be able to sell them.”

I am probably visibly massively disappointed.

Me: “Oh. Darn. Y’all are the only [Restaurant] in town doing them this year, and I probably won’t make it back again before they’re off sale since I live on the other side of town. We’re moving out of the country in the spring and they don’t ever sell them where we’re moving, so I guess that’s the end of my [Sandwich]-eating days!”

I laugh a little.

Me: “I’ll have the [chicken nuggets meal], instead, then.” 

I take my food and go sit at a table, reading on my phone while I eat. After about ten minutes, the employee approaches my table and leans in to speak quietly.

Employee: “We just unloaded the first boxes of [Sandwiches]. My manager said if you want a few, we can go ahead and give them to you early.”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, that would be great! I just need two; I’ll come up and pay for them now!” 

Employee: “No, no, she said we’ll give them to you for being so patient and because you spent more than you would if we’d had the [Sandwich] combo meals ready to go.”

They did give me two sandwiches free, and they were delicious the next day. I honestly think it was less about the money I’d spent and more about the fact that I hadn’t thrown a tantrum, but either way, their kindness made my day!


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for January 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

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