When I taught computer programming years ago, I had an assignment involving calculating interest on a bank loan. A student came to complain about the assignment.

Student: “This assignment wasn’t fair. It was about loans and interest. I’m only nineteen. How should I know about loans and interest?”

I wasn’t at all short of things to say to him. At eighteen, people can legally take out loans, get credit cards, etc. I suppose I could have roasted him to his face, but that’s not my style. But to some extent, I began to see how the twenty-first century has infantilized adults.

Me: “You’re over eighteen. This is something you should know. I’m not sure what else to tell you.”

I wish this story had a happier ending, but Not Always Right does have a series of “This Is Why We’re In A Recession” stories, and it’s at part 113 as of this submission.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 114
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 113
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 112
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 111
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 110

I work as a trainer and consultant for a smaller training business that is steadily growing. I came in at the beginning of the company and have essentially helped with the start-up and reaching out to clients. I am approaching my third year here.

Recently, my company told us that they were looking to promote a team lead. I approached my team lead (who was promoted ahead of me last year) and talked about the idea of going ahead and applying. She basically turned me down.

Team Lead: “You haven’t had enough experience.”

Okay, fair enough. Maybe she saw something I didn’t?

Then, the promotion was given to a guy I had trained who had only been there for six months.

Okay.

Right after that was my year review. We had a scoring system, and in order to get a raise, we had to score at least a seven.

Team Lead: “Tell me about what you’ve done well over the last year?”

I came prepared and showed dates and times of projects that were not only done well but done well within the time frame. During the year, I also implemented three different time-saving ideas that are now used company-wide.

Team Lead: “Now tell me about your one-year and five-year goals.”

Me: “My one-year goal is to lead a team, and for my five-year goal, I’d like to lead a pod, like [Teammate] at [Other Location].”

Team Lead: “For you, I see your one-year goal being to lead a training session. Your five-year goal should be to be a mentor.”

Being a mentor is more work but no pay increase like the team lead.

Team Lead: “Your score for this review is a six. You won’t be getting a raise this year because it doesn’t seem like you’re a team player.”

And then, she had the audacity to tell me that “raises aren’t the end goal”, as though she didn’t know that my rent had been raised $150 in the past three months. She told me that I was on a sixty-day probation and that in sixty days, we would reevaluate if I could continue with the company.

I nodded and smiled because I didn’t have anything lined up.

After I left that meeting, I immediately began sending out resumes. I have three interviews lined up within the next three days. I don’t have a conclusion yet, but I can say with all certainty that I will be leaving here.

I have moved a LOT throughout my life, I have done this process many times, and I have worked at a city utility company. No, I haven’t dealt with this specific city utility company before, but it’s all a similar process and is typically arranged PRIOR to actual lease/purchase signings.

My husband and I are about to buy our first home. (Yikes.) It is the Thursday before closing day, and I am calling the utility companies to arrange services to be switched into our names on that coming Tuesday and, hopefully, to avoid any interruption of services.

The first two state-wide utilities are set up with no issues. Then, we call the city’s utility company. 

Representative: “How can I help you?”

Me: “I am buying a home and need to have services turned on or switched to my name on the ninth when we close.”

Representative: “No problem. What’s the address?”

Me: “[Address].”

Representative: “You’re going to need to provide a signed lease in your name with your driver’s license before we can start services.”

???????

Me: “We’re not closing until Tuesday, the ninth. I won’t have anything until that day, late afternoon.”

Representative: “That’s the only way to have the water turned on in your name.”

Me: “Okay… but we won’t have that until late Tuesday, and we don’t want an interruption of services, or we would at least like them turned back on that day.”

Representative: “You’re going to need to provide a signed lease in your name with your driver’s license before we can start services.”

Me: “Okay, so, I know people move into new places. They buy them or rent them, and they get services set up to be turned on in the future so they have services the day of. And none of them can get a lease or document of ownership until after the actual transaction is made. And they still get services set up.”

Representative: “Yes, we can do that.”

Me: *Deep breath* “Okay… I want to do what that is.”

Representative: “You can’t. You have to have a signed lease and provide your ID to prove you’re not the prior resident.”

Me: “But you just said—”

Representative: “There is a significant outstanding balance on the current account, so we can’t authorize a new service without proof of new occupants.”

Me: “Oh! Okay. See, that makes sense. I get that. Next time, maybe start with, ‘That location has an outstanding balance, so in order to get services in your name, we will have to have a lease/proof of purchase.’ That I completely understand. Thank you.”

Representative: “We can’t start new services after the current balance reaches a certain amount.”

Me: “Again, I get that. But I am buying the place through a realtor. The other utilities were set up without a hitch. How or why would I know that there was an outstanding balance on the seller’s account?”

There’s a long pause.

Representative: “Once you provide the paperwork, we should be able to get services turned on, same day. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “Nope. I’m good. Thanks.”

I live in Oklahoma, and those of us in the south know that [Discount Variety Store] locations exist about every two miles, regardless of whether you’re in the middle of the city or the middle of the desert. (At least, it feels that way.)

In a recent [Store] ad, they had a “buy two, get one free” deal for twelve-packs of Coke products. Then, when I get to the store, on the shelf, there’s the local sticker that says they are two for $14. Cool, with the buy-two deal, that’s thirty-six cans for $14, instead of thirty-five for $18 at [Warehouse Store].

I buy Coke for both home and the office, so when it’s on sale like this, I like to get quite a bit. I load nine of the twelve packs into my cart and go to the register.

Now, here in Oklahoma, grocery items ARE taxable. The clerk rings them up and tells me the total is (rounding) $52.

Uh, no.

Me: “These are on sale; buy two, get one free. Two for fourteen times three is $42, plus tax, so about $46.”

The clerk is confused and calls the store manager. They have to shut the register down, and the manager has to go into the office and calculate just exactly how things are screwed up.

Manager: “Okay. The register is only giving you a $2.65 discount on each pack instead of what I think should be a $2.95 discount, times nine packs, and it is ringing them at $7.95 minus the $2.95.”

Me: “Um, no, that means you’re still charging too much, because it means you’re charging $5 per case, or $45 plus tax, instead of $42.”

She did finally get it right, and I apologized, saying I just didn’t want to be one of THOSE customers, but it’s fairly simple math. And I was doing it all in my head because I learned HOW to do simple math in my head and not be dependent upon a calculator about fifty-five years ago.

CONTENT WARNING: Gross

One summer during college, I worked at a gym teaching kids from ages four to ten how to swim. During my classes at the shallow end of the pool, there was also a Mommy And Me swimming class for infants, getting them used to the water while still being in a parent’s arms.

This was an exchange between me and the coworker teaching the infant class in between classes.

Me: “There’s something floating in the pool. Actually, there’s a lot of it.”

Coworker: *Offhandedly* “Oh, I think one of the infants in the Mommy And Me class pooped their pants and it spilled out into the water.”

Me: “Don’t we need to clear the pool and clean it since that’s biohazardous material?”

Coworker: “No, there’s so much chlorine in here that it was dead on contact.”

Now, this I would believe; the chlorine levels at this pool were enough that I ended each day with less leg hair than the day before, and it gave my eyes the look of someone who spent their summer at Woodstock.

My coworker then proceeded to jump into the pool and scoop the poop out by hand before welcoming the next class in.

Safe to say, those reasons are why that was my last summer teaching swim lessons.