Hat’s Off For The Attempt

, , , , , | Romantic | November 22, 2017

Years ago, my husband’s uncle was shopping for lingerie for his wife. Unfortunately, he really did not know anything about bra sizes, let alone what size his wife wore.

When the saleswoman asked about size, [Uncle] doffed his hat, looked around, and said, “Seven and a half.”

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Owner Getting Owned By A Four-Year-Old

, , , , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

In the 1970s, a local store owner really disliked kids being in her store. She would watch pre-teens and teens who went in very closely. Some of us just stopped going to her store; others watched for the owner to be inattentive so they could pocket things, just to spite her.

One day, I stopped in with some friends to check out a stuffed animal. The owner, as usual, was following us around and watching us closely, much too closely for our comfort. As we were getting ready to leave, an older woman came in with her small granddaughter. The grandmother set a grocery bag on the floor against the counter and engaged the store-owner in conversation.

We watched in amazement as the maybe four-year-old granddaughter immediately began stuffing candy bars in their grocery bag. She then wandered around the shop, picking up items, and carrying them to the counter to put in their bag. In view of the owner!

We continued watching until the grandmother picked up the bag and left — without buying anything.

I looked at the owner, pointing at the grandmother, about to point out what happened.

I stopped talking at a very nasty look from the owner.

One of my friends grabbed my arm and said it wouldn’t do any good, so we just left.

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A Jedi Shall Not Know Love…

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 20, 2017

(I am a huge Star Wars fan, and after years and years I am finally buying the complete series, Episodes I – VI, on Blu-ray. I am 25 and have been single longer than I care to admit. This happens as I am checking out. The cashier is female; I am male.)

Cashier: *looks at my purchase “You must be single, right?”

Me: *not really paying attention* “What? Oh, umm… Yeah.”

Cashier: “I figured; you wouldn’t have time to watch all these if you had a girlfriend.”

Me: “Ha ha, yeah. I guess so.” *dies a little inside*

(I couldn’t bring myself to watch them for about a week after I bought them because it just reminded me that I could be out on a date instead.)

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You Say Tomato, I Say Fair Price!

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

In recent years, a local farm has set up a booth in town to sell their produce. I was in to pick up some of their tomatoes. The owner and a customer were blocking that display. While I waited for my turn, I heard the customer say:

“But I can get tomatoes for ninety-nine cents a pound at [Supermarket].”

I figured the customer was trying to talk the owner down on price so I wandered over to a different display until the customer walked away. Finally, I was able to get my tomatoes.

As I was paying the owner, I said, “This may be all we eat for dinner tonight. Your tomatoes just have more flavor than the ones at [Supermarket]!”

The owner, who is known to be a bit gruff, gave me a genuine smile.

When I turned around, I was face-to-face with the argumentative customer. He was glaring at me. I heard the owner chuckle quietly as I walked away.

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Unfiltered Story #100008

, | Unfiltered | November 15, 2017

My sister works in HR at a plant. The company does random drug testing, and if you’re selected, you get emailed so you know to show up that day. My sister is supposed to have the day off, as compensation for the extra hours she put in that week, but drives in since the testing is mandatory. Normally, the testing goes pretty quickly, and she should still get most of her day off. When she gets there, though, she finds a bunch of disgruntled third shifters (who had to stay late for the testing) and no dug tester. After it becomes clear that the tester isn’t arriving (they have a set window for doing the test, per the contract, and are obligated to send someone within that time frame), my sister calls the testing company.
Sister: Hi, this is [sister] from [company]. One of your testers was supposed to be here two hours ago. Are they on their way, or can you send the emergency backup?
Agent: I’m sorry, it looks like we don’t have anyone listed as dispatched, and no one on the regular roster available to assign. Let me send you to the backup tester on call.
([Sister] is transferred, and explains the situation again to the emergency tester on call.)
On call: Yes, it looks like all of our testers are currently out on assignment. We have no one available to send.
Sister: I was told you were the on call tester?
On call: That’s correct. I’m here in case there is an emergency and a tester need to be dispatched.
Sister: Great! How soon can you be here? We’ve got a lot of guys who are ready to take their test and go home!
On call: Oh, no, I can’t come. I have to be here in case there is an emergency call.
Sister: That’s why I was transferred to you. Our tester never arrived and we need one right away.
On call: I’m very sorry, but I have to remain here in case there is an emergency call.
(He and my sister go round and round. She keeps trying to explain that their company was scheduled but the tester didn’t show, so they need the on call tester. The on call tester keeps insisting that he can’t help, because he has to be available in case there is an emergency call for the on call tester. Eventually she gives up and tries a series of different people within both companies, trying to get someone who can help. Most of the people she tries are either out of the office for an early weekend or just not answering. Eventually, she gets ahold of a manager from the testing company and explains that they need a tester ASAP.)
Manager: Absolutely! Here’s the number for our on call emergency tester. He should be able to be there in under an hour.
Sister: Actually, he’s the second person I talked to. But he insisted he couldn’t leave, because he had to be available in case there was an emergency call for a tester.
Manager: What? That makes no sense.
Sister: I know. I tried to explain, but he was very insistent that he couldn’t leave. And I’ve got a large number of very unhappy third shifters that are on the clock, on overtime, who can’t go home until these tests are done!
Manager: Can you hold for a minute? (Sister agrees, and wind up on hold for quite a bit longer than a minute.)
Manager: My apologies. I’ve… straightened things out with the on call tester. He should be there within an hour.
(He actually did show up within the hour. By the time he arrived, the testing company’s initial mistake and his insistence that the on call couldn’t leave to do testing had kept the third shift crew for hours past the end of their normal shift. By the time everyone was done and could leave, he and his company had cost [sister’s company] thousands of dollars in unnecessary overtime. To add insult to injury, between getting the mess straightened out and doing her test last to get the overtime folks home and off the clock, my sister ended up losing her entire day off. She didn’t get a replacement day.)

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