Surge Of Scammers Hustling Around Gas Stations Beggars Belief

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2018

For some reason, scammers and beggars see me as a soft touch.

I was standing inside my favorite gas station, chatting with the workers, when I saw a young couple outside having an intense conversation and repeatedly looking in at me. Then, the man nodded to the woman and walked inside. He had some money clenched in his hand.

I stepped back so he could deal with the cashier I’d been chatting with. He dropped the money on the counter and asked for that amount to be prepaid on his pump. He kept glancing at me as he made a point of counting out less than two dollars, asking how much that would buy, and lamenting that it wouldn’t be enough gas to get where he needed to go.

I only smiled at him.

His girlfriend rushed in exclaiming that she’d found thirteen cents in the car. Then, she started giving me sideways glances.

I just smiled.

Finally, they broke down and asked outright if I could help.

I smiled, explained that I don’t carry cash, and had to interrupt his suggestion that I use my credit card to fill their tank to say, “Maybe that twenty hanging out of your pocket could help you out.”

The couple rushed out, leaving their handful of change on the counter. The cashier and I had a good laugh.

A Healthy Conversation About Religion

, , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I’m a cashier. A customer sneezes several times as he approaches one of the self-checkout stations.)

Me: “Ah, gesundheit, sir!”

Customer: “You know you shouldn’t be saying that to people, miss.”

(A little perplexed, I stop making rounds around the self-checkout stations and turn to look at him.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? What should I not be saying?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to people.”

Me: “Eh, I didn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ though, sir; I said, ‘Gesundheit.’”

Customer: “I heard what you said; ‘gesundheit’ means ‘God bless you.’” *beginning to get irked*

(It takes me a moment to process what the man’s just said to me, since I know for a fact that “Gesundheit” means something like, “Good health to you.” But before I have a chance to respond to the man, he starts off on a tirade about how he can’t stand the fact that people have to shove matters like religion and God onto him and others all the time and can’t keep their opinions to themselves and whatnot. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, stock-still and quiet, as I’m holding my handheld monitor to my chest, definitely feeling a bit more than dumbfounded at what I’m hearing, all because I said a simple phrase! At some point I finally find a break in the man’s fervent outburst and manage to get a word in.)

Me: “Um, sir? ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t mean ‘God bless you.’ It’s German for ‘Good health to you.’”

Customer: *stares at me again* “You sure about that?”

Me: “Completely so, sir.”

Customer: “It has nothing to do with God.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you know, you still shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to someone.”

Me: *actually feels my eyelid twitch a bit at this* “Yes, sir, I know that. Anyway, if you should at all require assistance while checking out, sir, let me know, okay? I’d be more than happy to help you.”

(I had to walk away from the man ASAP as I had a feeling that he would continue to incessantly drone on about why you shouldn’t say, “God bless you,” to someone when they sneeze. Honestly, had I known the man was going to get so cantankerous about me saying something with polite intention when he sneezed I’d have just stayed quiet! I’m not even religious, anyway!)

Fanfiction Writers Finally Taken Seriously, And It Only Cost Them Everything

, , , , , | Related | November 9, 2018

(My sister and I are in the car driving together, and I am telling her about a fanfiction I am reading where the Avengers and Spider-Man are all on Twitter and other social media. I tell her how hilarious it is, and that literally all of them are trans or gay. Then I say that Hawkeye is asexual and aromantic, making him an Ace Arrow.)

Sister: *confused* “I thought he had a wife and kids, though? Like, neither of those is probable?”

Me: “Shhh. This is their universe. This is fanfiction; the author can do whatever they want. The wife and kids don’t exist.”

Sister: “So, are you telling me that fanfiction writers are Thanos? Just, ‘I don’t like you.’” *snaps fingers*

This Marriage Is Such A Snooze-Fest

, , , , , | Romantic | November 8, 2018

My husband has an incredibly loud and powerful snore. One night, I was awake with a bad migraine when his snoring went over the top, causing intense pain in my head. I tried rolling him over, poking his shoulder, talking loudly to him, bouncing the bed, flicking water in his face… Nothing stopped the snoring. I decided to ruffle his mustache with a pencil. Thank heaven I was using the eraser end, because he rolled toward me, which allowed the pencil to go up his nose!

The snoring did stop long enough for me to go to sleep. The next morning, he had no idea what had happened until I confessed.

 

Not Sold On Your Explanation Of It Being Sold

, , , , | Right | November 8, 2018

(A customer has come in looking for a necklace she put on hold. We are unable to find it, which means that she probably didn’t pick it up when she said she would and that we put it back on the floor. I offer to help her find it again, but it is a piece of clearance jewelry so chances are it has already sold.)

Customer: “Are you sure it’s not behind that counter there?”

Me: “Ma’am, we only have two hold spots. One is underneath the register, which is filled currently with only associate holds, and one in the safe for fine jewelry. I checked personally and it is not there.”

Customer: “How do I know that an associate didn’t take my hold and put their name on it?”

Me: “None of the holds in there match the description you’re giving me. Chances are it was put on the floor and has already been picked up.”

(She continues looking for it but finally gives up and wanders off. I figure she has left, since she checked out prior to even looking for the necklace she was missing. I begin working on switching cases, and I have filled a basket filled with fine jewelry items — pearls, diamonds, gold rings, etc. — and am just about to move when she suddenly appears again.)

Customer: “Is my necklace in there?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is all from a case I just emptied. No costume jewelry would be locked up like that, and I already told you that it probably got sold.”

Customer: “Can I look just to make sure?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. There is a lot of fine jewelry in here and I can’t have customers handling it. I assure you that we do not have it.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I later caught her watching me as I filled the new case up, to make sure I still didn’t have it. All this for a clearance necklace that she probably forgot to pick up in time.)

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