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And The Gamer Gets Gamed

, , , , , , , | Friendly | April 24, 2022

In 1995, I decided to join the military. The day that this happened was one of the worst days of my year. What should have been an easy couple of hours turned into an all-day event — paperwork was lost, two recruiters were in car accidents on the way to get me, and I didn’t have a lot of money for anything. The one thing that got me through my ordeal was the small arcade they had in the waiting area. I had about $5.00 to spend to keep my mind from going nuts. I have been gaming since I was about three years old when my dad introduced my brother and me to his Atari 2600. I am now forty-four.

The arcade had “Street Fighter,” “Mortal Kombat,” and some other random games. I was in heaven. I put in a quarter and started playing “Street Fighter.” It’s one of the few fighting games I am not the best at but can make my way through.  

After a few games, I heard someone walk in behind me. I kept playing, and a few moments later, I heard, ever so quietly:

Young Guy: “Oh, the girl thinks she can play.” *Chuckles*

I snickered and turned my head to see a tall, young guy standing about six feet from me.  

Me: “Did you say something?”

Young Guy: “Oh, no, just watching you play. Do you know how to play that game? Looks like you are having problems.”

I smiled, hiding the glint in my eye.

Me: “Yeah, this one I’m no good at. It’s just passing the time while I wait.”

He smiled.

Young Guy: “Tell you what. I’ll challenge you to this one.”

He nodded his head toward “Mortal Kombat.”

Young Guy: “Do you think you can handle this one okay?”

Me: *Coolly* “Well, I’m not sure. It looks fun, but I’ve never played it before.”

He pulled out a few quarters and put in one for each of us.

Young Guy: “I’ll teach you. Pick a character.”

I picked Scorpion because, honestly, I knew a few moves, but he was not my favorite. I can button mash with the best of them though. Two rounds later, I played coy and asked for some pointers. After he played it off for a bit, I challenged him to another round, this time with my favorite character: Kitana. First round — flawless victory. The second round was more of a challenge because he got mad, but I still got him. Three dollars in quarters later, he started to cuss me out.

Young Guy: “You’re playing me!”

I smiled ever so sweetly.

Me: “Oh, this little girl is a gamer, and you just got your a** beat.”

He walked away, cursing under his breath.

Well, The TV Still Works, Right?

, , , , , , | Related | April 1, 2022

My cousin and his fiancé invite my family over for dinner at their new house. Having lived there for only a few weeks, they don’t have everything set up yet. I notice their TV isn’t mounted and is leaning against the wall. Later, his fiancé brings it up and I mention I noticed.

Fiancé: “Yeah, a couple of weeks ago [Cousin] invited a couple of his buddies over to help mount the TV and watch the game, and he told them to bring beer and tools. There was a mix-up as to who was bringing what, and they both only brought beer and ended up just drinking all night.”

Like They Can’t Just Tell Their Parents When They Get Home?

, , , , , , | Learning | March 30, 2022

Due to several vulnerable family members, we all take the current health crisis very seriously. The local school system implemented mandatory masks, among other cautionary measures.

One day, our family chat alerts with a text from one of the kids. He was in class with several unmasked students. His father called the school to report it.

A staff member spoke to the teacher, basically ordering him to follow procedure.

The teacher returned to the classroom and gave the students an order:

Teacher: “Put away your phones.”

Is it any surprise our area’s infection rate is over thirty-five percent and rising?

Vets Are Mind-Readers, Too, Apparently

, , , , , , , | Healthy | March 24, 2022

I was seeing a client for the first time whose concern was that her dog was itchy. The file had a few visits from about a year ago concerning urinary issues and suspect urinary tract infection, but at a recheck visit, the client had reported it resolved. Otherwise, the dog had a healthy, normal history.

I could see on the exam that it had scratched its skin in several places from being so itchy. Running a flea comb through its coat, I pulled out several fleas that I was able to show to the client, which is always very satisfying. We started him on flea prevention and also gave him an anti-itch injection, as he was so itchy I was suspicious he was either allergic to the fleas (which is a thing) or had some allergies on top of the fleas.

I worked with the client to find options that worked in her budget and gave estimates for everything. At the end of the appointment, as with all appointments, I asked if there were any other questions or concerns for that day. We talked about the skin and allergies a little bit more, but otherwise, there were no other concerns.

The next day, she left a negative review on our page because, “We never resolved her dog’s urinary issues.”

Sleep With One Eye Open

, , , , , | Working | March 17, 2022

It is the beginning of winter and it’s starting to get very cold at night. One cold day, I realize that my car is very low on gas and go to fill it up at the gas station. When I try to fill it, the automatic stop function keeps turning the gas off after barely putting any in my tank. If I manually hold it, the gas splashes back out of the tank. Some of you may know what is likely happening, but I do not and I call over the gas station attendant.

The gas station attendant tries the same thing I am doing with the same results. He also happens to have a friend filling up, and they both look at the pump and my tank, try some troubleshooting, and chat with each other. Eventually, they come to a conclusion. To preface, they both have accents that lead me to think they are not from the area, and I have no idea if the following is something that happens in other countries or if a language barrier made the communication even stranger.

Gas Station Attendant: “Someone has put something down in your car. Down in the tank. Did you put something there?”

Me: “There is something in my gas tank? No, I definitely didn’t put anything in there.”

I’m thinking maybe they have seen this happen before.

Gas Station Attendant: “Yes. You did not put anything there? No? Perhaps you have… an enemy? Someone who is angry and put something in your car? Do you have any enemies?”

Me: *Even more confused* “No, I don’t think I have any enemies.”

I ended up leaving without gas, and after sharing the story with my family, my dad explained that with the weather change and low fuel level, what had likely happened was that a small amount of water in the tank had frozen and was preventing gas from entering. I had to get rides to school for a few days until it got above freezing. And to my knowledge, I did not have an enemy!