Doesn’t Always Feel Good Getting Stoned

, , , , | Healthy | September 5, 2018

(I’ve been having awful pains for months now. I keep bringing it up to my family doctor, who passes it off as period cramps, as I’m a twenty-something female. I finally talk him into looking into it more, and he says it might be a kidney stone. I get referred to a urologist, all while being told, “I still think it’s period cramps.” I go in for my first visit after taking an x-ray.)

New Doctor: “Okay, so, where is your pain at?”

Me: “It’s mostly on my right side, a little bit higher up.”

(He looks at where I’m pointing, then at some paperwork. He shuffles through it a bit.)

New Doctor: “Okay, yeah. You have a kidney stone. It’s a good-sized one, too. We’re going to get some more images of it to confirm size and position before we talk about how to deal with it. Any questions about that?”

Me: “I… don’t think so. You’re sure it’s a kidney stone?”

New Doctor: “Unless you have a frozen pea in your urinary tract, it’s a stone.”

(I ended up having surgery, and passed it all with no problem. My family doctor never blamed pain on period cramps again.)

Unfiltered Story #119370

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2018

(I work in a small, bakery/restaurant in a college town. I answer the phone:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Name], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need a lemon meringue pie delivered to my son’s dorm room today.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we require 48 hours notice for special orders and we don’t deliver; you can pick something we have in stock and he can pick them up.”

Customer: “Well it’s a surprise for his birthday so it has to be delivered. It shouldn’t take long to make one pie.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our bakers have already left for the day, we aren’t prepared to make that and we don’t have someone available to deliver.”

Customer: “So there’s really no way for you to do this?”

Me: “No I’m sorry.”

(She then hangs up. Twenty minutes later I answer the phone and it’s the same woman with the same request and I had to go through the whole thing with her again.)

Unfiltered Story #119364

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2018

I have worked at a small store on a military base for over two years, so most of the regulars know me by name.

A lady comes in, in uniform, and asks for some cigarettes, I grab the pack she’s pointing to and double check that they’re the correct brand. She says yes, I ring her out and go to the next customer. Next thing I know, she pops back up saying that those aren’t the right cigarettes and that she wants a refund or to switch them out.

Since they’re cigarettes, I can’t do that at our store and when I reply with that she loses her mind; ranting and raving about how I made her day so much worse while I have a line full of people standing behind her watching this woman in uniform go off.

After a minute or two of this, one of the ladies in civilian dress (who I’ve known for years at this point) steps up and asks for her name and SO’s name because SHE was higher rank than the first woman and was going to report her.

She then proceeds to follow her out to the parking lot and tears her a new one!

Don’t Get Between Lesbians And Their Balls

, , , , , | Right | August 28, 2018

(The bowling center where I work has a gay bowling league in it. I am also gay, but don’t know about the league at the time. A small family comes in as the league is bowling and two of the little girls start running around in the bowling area, disturbing a few of the league patrons. They disturb a few of the more “butch” lesbians, and they tell the kids not to run around here, etc. The parents don’t like the customers yelling at the kids, so they complain to the manager. The manager gives them a small discount and a few free game passes to come back at another time when the bowling center isn’t filled with leagues. She also tells them how good that league is, and that the ladies probably didn’t mean any harm. About two weeks later, these people come in again when we are not busy at all. The one mother says to the other mother in the group — while right next to me at the check-in desk:)

Customer: “There aren’t any gays or lesbians here, are there?”

Me: *eyes go wide* “Uh… Why?”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Well, we don’t want to disturb them again and make them all upset!”

(I hold my tongue, give the parents and kids their shoes, and send them down to their lane. I am pretty offended; I know what she meant, though she didn’t need to say it that way. I go into the manager’s office to tell her that “they” are back, and I tell her what the woman said.)

Manager: “Do you mind if I tell them you are gay? I want to ‘mess’ with them a bit.”

Me: “Sure!”

(I kind of hide a bit, trying to hear this conversation. The manager goes down, says hello to the customers, and chit chats a bit as she leads into telling them how friendly the gay league is and how they are some of our favorite customers, etc. She then says:)

Manager: “Yeah, even the guy at the desk is gay, and he’s a hard worker!”

(The one mother actually says:)

Customer: “OH, NO!”

(She puts her hands on her cheeks with big, bugged eyes like Macaulay Culkin in “Home Alone.” She tells the manager what she said, and says that she feels badly. When the family comes up to pay:)

Customer: *in a very sorrowful tone* “Hi. I didn’t mean what I said before.”

Me: “Yeah, you shouldn’t have said that, but I know what you meant.”

(They were very nice and sweet as they left. I told the manager how they apologized in their own way, and we had a small laugh about it in the office. She then told me that during their conversation, one of the ladies said, “Oh… Well, he WAS wearing a purple shirt.”)

A Few Holes In Your Bowling Knowledge

, , , | Right | August 27, 2018

Me: *phone rings* “[Bowling Alley], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was in there last night, and I think I left my bowling ball there. Can you see if it’s around?”

Me: “Sure, was it a specific brand?”

Customer: “Oh… I’m not sure… I don’t think it had a brand on it.”

Me: *mentally sighing* “Okay, what color was it?”

Customer: “Um, I think it is blue. Er, wait… Maybe green?”

Me: *mentally facepalming* “Well, was there anything else on it, like your name engraved, or some other feature?”

Customer: *thinks a bit* “Um… OH! It has three holes in it!”

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