Her Ones And Zeroes Add Up To Less Than She Thought

, , , , , | Right | September 3, 2019

(The store I work register in regularly puts out ads for our sales, so customers know when something has a pricing deal. We also have digital coupons for people who use our couponing app. On rare occasions, the physical ads will advertise a deal for if you have a digital coupon. This is one of those occasions. A customer comes up with five packages of [Laundry Detergent].)

Customer: “You take digital coupons?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do. Just put your phone number into the card reader when the option comes up and it’ll find any coupons clipped to your account.”

(I ring up everything and make sure she can enter the digital coupons account number before getting her total.)

Me: “All righty, your total is [total].”

Customer: “Wait, that’s not right. Those [Laundry Detergent]s should be two dollars each!”

(I look back through the transaction on my end. The only digital coupon that applied for the transaction worked, but only on one of her items.)

Me: “My apologies, ma’am, but it looks like the coupon went through correctly.”

Customer: “No! See, look at the ad!”

(She then grabs one of the copies of our current ads we keep near the register and turns it so it’s facing me. Sure enough, it’s right on the front page, and says that the [Laundry Detergent] is two dollars with a digital coupon. It does not explicitly state that the coupon only applies to only one package of it, but it does not apply to multiple packages of it.)

Me: “I see what happened here. Unfortunately, the coupon only applies to one item at a time.”

Customer: “But it said that they were two dollars with a digital coupon!”

(I recognize her tone as the “I’m right and I’ll start a fight about it if you say otherwise!” tone and notice the line building, so I decide to take a different approach.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, let me see what my manager wants to do about this.”

(I excuse myself and apologize to the people in line for the wait before I run off and find my manager, who does not suffer fools gladly. When I find him, I explain to him what she wanted.)

Manager: “Just tell her coupons only apply once.”

Me: “Already did. She sounds like she’s going to keep at it and make a fight out of it, though.”

(Once we get back up there I apologize to the now angry line for the delay before standing near enough to the register to finish the transaction once my manager and the customer are done.)

Manager: “So, what’s the issue here?”

Customer: “I’ve got a digital coupon for this and it didn’t apply to them!

Manager: “Well, the coupon only applies to one product at a time.”

Customer: “The ad doesn’t say that! It should apply to them all!”

Manager: “Our digital coupons only apply once per transaction.”

Customer: “Oh… so, if I split this into five different purchases, it would work?”

Manager: *clearly losing his patience* “No, they’re like normal coupons. If you use one, it gets taken and can’t be used again.”

Customer: “So, I can’t buy all of these with the coupon?”

Manager: “Not unless you have multiple accounts and multiple coupons.”

Customer: *clearly angry now* “Fine! Take all but one of them off.”

(My manager gladly does this and goes to his register to help thin down the line. She pays her total and takes her stuff with her while muttering about the ad under her breath. My next customer comes up with a full cart.)

Me: “My apologies for the wait.”

Customer #2: *laughing* “It’s fine! It’s not your fault she didn’t understand how coupons work!”

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They’re Not Out Of The Woods Yet

, , , , , | Healthy | August 29, 2019

(We’re in the waiting room during our adult son’s brain surgery. A family sits near us and I hear:)

Family: “He’s in Jesus’s hands now.”

(I lean over to my son’s girlfriend and say:)

Me: “They sent a carpenter in to do a surgeon’s job.”

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Unfiltered Story #160892

, , , | Unfiltered | August 23, 2019

I’m working late one night when the phone rings.
Me: “(Business Name), how can I help you?
Him: “Yeah i was just wondering if you have televisions there.”
Me: “Yes sir, we do.”
Him: “So could you tell me if you have Direct TV channel (x)?”
(The channel he asked for was a high number, probably something specific to that provider, and we generally don’t play cable but instead use Arabic servers for soccer games and music videos.)
Me, without hesitation: “I’m sorry sir but we do not.”
Him: *mumbles something, almost as if he’s yawning while talking to me*
Me: “Sir?”
Him, suddenly rude: “Well how could you possibly know you don’t have that channel without checking?”
Me: “Because sir, we don’t have Direct Tv.”
(He hung up on me.)

Maybe If You Told Her In A High-Pitched Voice?  

, , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I work in a dollar store that sells helium-filled balloons. Unfortunately, there has been a shortage and we have been out for about a month. We have signs on the doors and registers, and by the display balloons. I am on register because we are busy and there is only one cashier.)

Customer: “I need six balloons.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are out of helium. The other store about six miles from here does have some, though.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “You looked right at me when I was by the balloons; why didn’t you tell me then?”

(I have been on the register for five minutes already and might have looked up but probably at the other customers in my line.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I didn’t see you.”

Customer: “Well, you should have signs posted.”

Me: “We do; they are on the entrance doors, at each register, and over by the balloons that are displayed.”

Customer: “What?!”

(I repeat it for her.)

Customer: “I want to speak to your boss.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the boss on duty right now.”

Customer: “Isn’t there someone else here?”

Me: “No, I can give you corporates’ number, though.”

(She got the number and continued to walk around the store complaining about me to her friends. I finished on register and went back to stocking. She was pissed because we didn’t have helium that we have no control over!)

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Listen To My Eyes!

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I do telephone surveys for patients who’ve recently visited their health center. I work with a headset.)

Me: “We’d like your feedback to improve future care; will that be okay?”

Patient: “Sure!”

Me: *reads the first question*

Patient: “What? What was that?”

(I repeat it louder and clearer and he responds. The same thing happens for the next two questions.)

Patient: “Stop speaking so close into the microphone. You’re spitting and breaking up; I can hardly hear you!”

(I oblige and slightly adjust my mouthpiece so it’s slightly above my mouth, although since I hear some static on his end, I’m not sure if he’s correct that I’m “spitting.” This cycle continues a few more times, with him asking me to repeat, and me gradually moving my mouthpiece farther and farther up to the point where I wonder how he can hear me at all, especially since I have a hoarse throat today.)

Me: *asks another question*

Patient: “You know, if you’re going to work on the phone, you should really get some phone skills! You shouldn’t be talking with your mouth so close to the phone!”

(Sick of straining my voice and fed up with his ridiculous assertions but trying to maintain professionalism and a friendly manner, I say:)

Me: “Sir, my microphone is at my eyes right now… so I’m definitely not talking into the phone. I apologize that you’re unable to hear me well.”

(Cue five seconds of silence.)

Patient: “Well, what was your question again?”

(The rest of the call proceeded smoother, although I did take to bending the microphone even further from my eyes when I had to repeat myself again. Crazy!)

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