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If They Don’t Like Clean, Enjoy The Clean Break

, , , , , | Right | May 30, 2022

During the health crisis, I was working as a cashier at a discount retailer doing both purchases and returns. As per policy, after doing a return, all clothes and items must be immediately hung up or separated from everything else to be sprayed later and counters must be wiped between customers.

I just completed doing a return and was following the cleaning procedures while an impatient couple was next in line. While I assured them that I would be with them shortly, they quickly became irate and threw their single item to purchase at me, a bag of potato chips costing no more than $2 or $3, and stormed out with one of the pair exclaiming loudly:


“We’re The Piraaates Who Don’t Do Anythiiiing…”

, , , , , , , | Working | May 24, 2022

Back in the early days of office computer networks, I was put in charge of setting up and maintaining the network for the law firm I worked at. The partner attorney who oversaw all this was really something!

First, the firm’s entire reason for upgrading to networked computers was so that the firm would have an inter-office email system. But Mr. Partner decided that it would cost too much to buy thirty-five individual versions of the software and bought only ONE stand-alone version and had me install that one install disk on all thirty-five computers, using the same code every time. Thus, email wasn’t possible because stand-alone software didn’t include it.

After some investigation, I did find a way to do short “instant messages” from one person to another and set up a short macro for everyone to make that easier. Mr. Partner was heard proudly referring to that as “our email system.”

He followed that up by ordering me to call a friend in a nearby firm to ask if we could “borrow” their install disks for a spreadsheet program. Not surprisingly, that request was denied.

Then, he attended a conference at the local Bar Association on the subject of computer piracy and came to me afterward.

Partner: “Have you heard about computer piracy? It’s really terrible!”

Me: “Yes, I have heard of it. We do it all the time. If we did it any more, I’d have to have a patch on my eye and a parrot on my shoulder!”

The following year, they opted to do an actual legit upgrade to have real email and licensed software on each PC, all while Mr. Partner kept shaking his head saying he really didn’t see why we needed to go to that expense!

That’s What Second Chances Are All About

, , , , | Legal | May 21, 2022

One of my childhood friends is now a parole officer. She’s one of the most proactive parole officers I’ve ever seen. She has a web of contacts in charge of hiring at various companies, and she will go out of her way to get the people whom she’s responsible for hired.

She first gets them through some sort of vocational testing to determine what sort of position to recommend them for. She will often give them rides to and from the interview, and she helps them get interview-appropriate clothing from local charities. She really goes above and beyond.

I happen to be in charge of hiring for a local branch of a large retail chain. Of the twelve criminals she’s brought to me over the years, I’ve hired eight of them, and all of those eight were among the best workers I’ve hired. Most of them eventually moved on to better jobs.

But, recently, one of them has been promoted to manage a newly opened branch. He invited my friend the parole officer to his promotion/going away party and thanked her profusely. He gifted her a PS5 that he had set aside to buy for her.

After he left for the new position in Tennessee, she quietly returned the PS5. She’s not into video games. Instead of returning it to stock, I donated it to a children’s charity. I think both of them would have approved.

Good Luck Scaring Someone Who Works Retail

, , , , , , | Right | May 17, 2022

We have a patient whose employer did not activate his health insurance. The patient is on the phone with his employer and the final resolution was the employer saying that if the insurance coverage did not go through, the employer would reimburse the patient for the full cost of the medication.

For those unaware, the pharmacy has no control over insurance coverage. All we do is send an electronic claim to the insurance, and the insurance either comes back with a copay (aka, what we charge the patient for the medication) or a rejection (patient not covered by [x insurance], medication not covered by insurance, pharmacy not in network, etc.).

The patient informs us he’s paying cash price without his insurance since this insurance isn’t going through. I let him know what the total cost is for all his medications – it’s less than $50, so not even that bad.

Patient: “I’m glad we got that figured out. If I had to come here again, it would be with a gun.”

Me: “…okay, so your total cost is [total]. We’ll ring you up at the register to your left.”

Patient: “Doesn’t that scare you? That I might come back with a gun?”

Honestly, yes, but he’s clearly looking for a reaction.

Me: “Nah. At my last job, patients would bite me on a daily basis.” *Actually true.* “This job is much less scary.”

Patient: “Oh…” *Walks off in disappointment.*

The Shirtless Volunteer

, , , | Working | April 26, 2022

I work at a convenience store. One day, I’m working the register while my coworker is in the restroom. A customer comes in without a shirt on. I think it’s a little weird, but it’s early afternoon in the middle of summer, so I don’t question it, and eventually, he’s out of sight, out of mind. He comes up to the counter a few minutes later.

Customer: “Hey, man, I noticed that the roller grill was empty, so I put a few things on it for you.”

Me: *Stunned* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Yeah, I saw there was nothing on it, so I got in the fridge underneath and put some stuff on. It’s no problem.”

I start internally questioning my pay to deal with this.

Me: “Uh… okay…”

He goes over to the other side of the counter and goes through his pockets while mumbling to himself, and then he leaves. My coworker comes out of the back soon after and I tell her what happened.

Coworker: “That’s a new one. I’m gonna go call [Assistant Manager]. I’d wager that if he didn’t have his shirt on, he probably didn’t put gloves on, so I’m gonna need to throw that stuff out.”

A couple of minutes later, she comes back

Coworker: “She told me to just throw it out and shut it down if I want to, and I will because I’m feeling petty.”