Unfiltered Story #185616

, , | Unfiltered | February 12, 2020

(This conversation happens at least twice an hour)

Customer: “Are you giving me me the winning lottery ticket?”

Me: “If I could predict winners I wouldn’t be working here.”

You’re Totally Off Your Clocker

, , , , | Working | February 11, 2020

(The grocery store I work at also has a popular coffee chain stall inside. They have several tables around the stall, since we have hot foods in the deli. I work in the department next to the coffee stall, so I overhear a lot of conversations there and at the tables. A department head and a few of her friends are sitting at a table, drinking coffee and chatting. Someone from her department comes over.)

Coworker: “Hey, [Department Head], when are you back from lunch? We have some things we need you to help with.”

Department Head: “Oh, I haven’t even clocked out yet!” *laughs*

(She’s been sitting and chatting for close to an hour at that point.)

Coworker: “Okay, but we need you to help with some of the computer stuff for [process].”

Department Head: “Yeah, I’ll get over there eventually. Just go make yourself busy.”

(My coworker goes to the office. A few minutes later, the store manager comes over.)

Manager: “[Department Head]! You’re on the clock! Why are you just sitting around?!”

Department Head: “I’m taking a break, jeez!”

Manager: “If you’re gonna take a break, go clock out! You’ve spent too much time hanging out and not working!”

Department Head: “You’re just jealous I’m pretty and people like me!”

Manager: “No, I’m upset you spend more time socializing with friends than doing what I pay you for. Clock out for break or go home.”

(I found out later that she transferred to a different store because of “too much pressure” from our manager.)

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Unfiltered Story #186494

, , | Unfiltered | February 8, 2020

COLLEGE GIRL *wandering out of the computer lab*: You guys have a mumblyblah?

ME: I’m sorry?

COLLEGE GIRL *even quieter*: You mumblyblah have nnnn colander?

ME: . . . . a calendar?

COLLEGE GIRL: Like one I can take with me.

ME: No, we don’t have that.

Your Brain Was Momentarily A Potato  

, , , , | Working | February 5, 2020

(I work at a fast food place known for serving ice cream and some food. Today has been an off day for me already with many mistakes, but this one takes the cake. I have just walked over to see what my coworker needs made.)

Customer: “What kind of fries do you have?”

Me: *slowly and unsure* “Potato?” *pauses as I realize* “I don’t think I’m understanding the question. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s okay. Like, curly or…?”

(At that point, my coworker answered his question while I walked away trying to fathom my own stupidity. Thankfully, they didn’t seem too bothered by it, but I’m still trying to figure out where my mind was during that.)

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A Marriage Isn’t Real Unless It Starts In Debt

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 31, 2020

We were young. We were in love. We had great friends who helped us out when we got married. It was thirty-four years ago. All that made it possible to throw our wedding for less than $400.

When an acquaintance at college asked about our wedding, she pressed for the financials. When I told her, she said, “Then you’re not really married!”

I avoided her after that. (By the way, we are still happily married.)

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