(Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)
Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”
Me: “When’s your birthday?”
Customer: “May 20th!”
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Customer: “My garbage disposal is clogged up.”
Me: “What is stuck in your garbage disposal?”
Customer: “A crystal ball.”
Me: “A what?”
Customer: “My crystal ball rolled off the counter and fell in my garbage disposal.”
Me: “You didn’t see that coming?”
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Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”
Caller: *yelling* “I want to make sure that idiot woman I spoke with a little while ago credited my card back because I think she was stupid and didn’t know what she was doing!”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to check on that credit for you today. After looking at the account, it looks like it was credited back to the credit card, as stated it would be.”
Caller: “Are you sure that idiot did it? She sounded like a liar to me!”
(After looking closer at the account, I see it was me who spoke to her last.)
Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did take care of that credit just like I said I would when you called me a little while ago.”
Caller: *silence* “Uh… I knew you would. You’re such a sweet girl!”
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(A customer is looking at printer cartridges.)
Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”
Customer: “Yeah, I need a black and white ink cartridge.”
Me: *joking* “Well, we’re out of black and white ink. How about black and clear?”
Customer: “No! I really need the white ink!”
This story is part of the Humorless Customers roundup!
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Customer: “Excuse me, are you all not releasing Christmas ornaments this year?”
Me: “No, we’re still going to be releasing them.”
Customer: “Well, it’s awfully late. Are they delayed this year? They’re usually out by now.”
Me: “It’s June, sir. They’ll be out in July like always.”
Customer: “Oh, my! It gets later and later every year.”
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