(A few days after Christmas, I come down with a flu bug that is going around, so I go to the after-hours clinic in our local city. When we arrive, there is at least a two-hour wait, so I sit patiently waiting my turn. About an hour in, one of the nurses comes out, and the following occurs:)

Nurse: “[Woman]?”

(She looks around the waiting room, and then into the hallway, calling her name a few times, then back into the office. Ten minutes later, after three other patients have gone back.)

Nurse: “[Woman]?”

(She looks around again in the waiting room and into the hallway, obviously getting frustrated, then back into the office. Ten more minutes pass, and more patients are escorted into the office. About this time, a very nicely dressed woman steps up to the nurse’s station asking how much longer of a wait she will have. The nurse behind the desk is looking at the list when another nurse comes out calling another patient’s name, and when they don’t answer, the nurse behind the desk points to the woman standing in front of her.)

Nurse: “[Woman]?”

Woman: *rudely* “No, my name is [Other Name], but my given name is [Woman]. I just choose not to answer to it.”

(The nurses inwardly face-palmed, and the patients in the waiting room burst out laughing.)

(I work for a “heavy haulers” trash company. We pick up the big stuff the normal guys can’t, like furniture, dressers, and more. In our area there’s a bad bed-bug epidemic, so everyone is required to at least double-wrap the furniture. A woman calls us asking for a date to pick up a couch.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. What do you need?”

Caller: “I’ve got a couch I need to throw away. When can you get it?”

Me: Our next pick up date is Wednesday. All furniture must be at least double-wrapped or we will not take it.”

Caller: “Why?”

Me: “There is a bed bug epidemic in our area and we have to be careful.”

Caller: “But I don’t have bed bugs.”

Me: “That doesn’t matter if you do or don’t. Regulation says all furniture must be double-wrapped”

Caller: “This is bullshit! You’re making me pay extra for wrap for no reason!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but all furniture must be double-wrapped.”

Caller: But I don’t have f****** bed bugs!”

Me: That doesn’t matter. All furniture must be double-wrapped, or we can’t take it. No exceptions.”

Caller: *enraged* “WHAT? YOU THINK I LIVE IN SOME F****** PIG STY?”

Me: “I never said that ma’am, I’m sure you have a lovely home. But as per order all furniture must be double-wrapped.”

(She nearly slammed her phone down, judging from what I heard after ending the conversation with a reluctant “Fine!” and her address. When we went to collect the couch from her alley we saw a wrapping job that looked like she had a seizure when doing it. And while putting it on the truck my partner saw three bed bugs under the wrapper.)

(I’ve been looking for the latest series of collectible LEGO blind-bag mini-figures for two months, but to my ire, they have been very hard to find. I stop at a retail store and head to the toy aisles, but first, I check out the action figures. As I then head towards the LEGO aisle, I can overhear an employee speaking to a supervisor over his phone.)

Employee: “Uh, yeah, can he buy the whole box?”

Child: “I want all of them, Mom! All of them!”

(My heart sinks, but I hurry over to the aisle. Sure enough, a son is with his parents and the employee with a cardboard display full of the latest mini-figure blind-bags. I’m shocked. I expect this kind of mass-purchasing from adult collectors of the line, but not from a kid who looks eight years old. I back away and watch as the scene plays out.)

Employee: *gets off the phone* “All right, sure, he says it’s okay.”

Kid: “YAY!”

(The mother then plops the display of mini-figures on top of her cart. Still stunned, I try to make humor of the situation by speaking to the mother.)

Me: “He must have a lot of money on him, huh?”

Mother: “Nah, he’s just spoiled.”

(I was stunned again by the comment as the family walked away. I asked another employee if they had any more in the back, but I was told that they did not. I didn’t manage to find the figures anywhere else that day, either.)

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(April Fool’s day is always ‘fun’ in my school district; practically every teacher pulls some kind of prank. I am a special needs child on the autism spectrum, meaning I don’t always get sarcasm and jokes. This year is particularly traumatic, with my biology teacher pulling this stunt.)

Bio Teacher: Today we’ll be taking a test on Organic Compounds. You will have the whole period to do this test, and you will have to name each of the compounds listed in your book, without looking at them. The test is worth 100 points.

(There is a list of thirty compounds that I still can’t remember the names of. The whole class sits in silence for about ten minutes while the teacher is out, allegedly printing out some materials. Then, another teacher comes in.)

Teacher #2: “The test has been cancelled. Feel free to throw away all your materials.”

(The whole class does so; I have a feeling that a lot of them knew this was a joke. I didn’t. My teacher came back in about three minutes later.)

Bio Teacher: “Where’re all the tests? Why aren’t you working on your tests?!”

Student: “Mr. [Teacher #2] told us to throw them out.”

Bio Teacher: “Why would you listen to him?”

Student: “He said you cancelled the test!”

(At this point, I was panicking. I had never failed a test before in my life, and I was afraid my parents were going to ground me, or worse, for doing so. The teacher kept insisting that he didn’t know what we were talking about, and then said that we had all failed the test. The next thing I remember, I was in the counselor’s office, apparently having suffered a panic attack. I don’t think he pulled any pranks in any of his classes after that year.)

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(I’m at a mall with my friends. It’s Memorial Day and the mall is open for Memorial Day sales. We are waiting in line at a store, right behind a fifty-something woman, when this happens.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t be working today! You should be at home, remembering the fallen!”

Cashier: “I didn’t choose to be here. This is my job.”

Customer: *getting angry* “I don’t care! This is an outrage!. You are disrespecting the troops!”

Cashier: “Well, if I wasn’t working here today, you wouldn’t be able to buy this stuff, so I wouldn’t talk like that.”

Customer: *stammering* “But you still aren’t—”

Cashier: “Ma’am, my dad died in combat. I would rather be at home, remembering him, than here, dealing with ungrateful customers like you. You are the reason why I’m here today. So don’t tell me I’m being disrespectful.”

(The woman shut up, paid for her items, and left.)

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