(Some backstory: Here were provide customer service for store credit cards. We have a website that allows customers to access their account and to make payments. For a payment to post the same day it has to be scheduled before 6:00 pm Eastern time. It is it currently 6:30 pm Eastern time. This customer is from California.)

Customer: “So, I was making my payment online and it gave me a weird message I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, we do have a cut-off time for a same day payment online of 6:00 pm Eastern time. It is currently 6:30 pm Eastern time.”

Customer: “That’s what I don’t understand.”

Me: “The cut-off time? That’s the latest you can make a payment and have it post that same day.”

Customer: “No, I get that; it’s the other part, the Eastern time. What does that mean?”

Me: “Eastern time? Our cut-off time is based on the time in the Eastern time zone.”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s that? It’s 3:30 right now.”

Me: “Time zones? Uh, well, you see the Earth is round so different parts of the world are at a different time. It is 3:30 on the West Coast but on the East Coast it is currently 6:30.”

Customer: “Wow, so you’re saying it’s night time where you are?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I could hear the woman’s mind being blown over the phone.)

(I have decided never to have kids, and my family isn’t exactly supportive of that. My mom and my aunts are always looking for signs that I might change my mind. I’m also very bad with kids, especially babies, as I just don’t know what to do with them. One of the things I hate the most is when someone just drops their baby into my arms and assumes I’ll know what to do. One day, I’ve just arrived at my parents’ house from out of town, and my brother and sister-in-law are coming over with their infant daughter and a five-week-old kitten that they rescued from the side of the highway. While my brother is still getting my niece out of her car seat, my sister-in-law comes inside. I go to the front hallway to greet her.)

Sister-In-Law: *handing me something* “Here, have a baby!”

(I reflexively draw back like I usually do when someone tries to give me a baby, but then I realize she’s holding a baby cat, not a baby human.)

Me: *cuddling the kitten* “Aw, you’re so adorable! And you’ve gotten so big! You were half this size in the last picture I saw.”

Kitten: “Meow.”

Sister-In-Law: “Isn’t she precious?”

Me: “Yeah. This is making me want to get one of my own.”

(There’s a crashing noise from further into the house, and suddenly my mom comes racing around the corner, camera in hand. She looks ridiculously excited until she sees me holding a tiny cat, with no baby in sight.)

Mom: *with a disappointed expression* “Oh, I should’ve known. Well, I’m sure you’ll change your mind someday.”

(This is in a college class. The professor is always in a suit and is laid back. Our entire major is very laid back as well.)

Student: “Sorry I’m late. My professor had a word with me about my clothes.”

Professor: *looking at his basketball t-shirt and shorts* “Your clothes? What’s wrong with your clothes?”

Student: “Yes. She has a problem with me wearing basketball shorts.”

Professor: “Why?”

Student: “I don’t know…”

Professor: “You should’ve said ‘okay’ and taken them off.”

Student: “Um…”

Professor: “Okay, maybe not.”

(I recently started a job working the gift shop at one of the top-ranked zoos in the nation. As such, we get a lot of out-of-state visitors in every day. Today one such visitor approaches my counter with her son, who is roughly eight or nine years old, and a stuffed animal she wants to purchase. Since annual members of the zoo receive a 10% discount on all their merchandise purchases, I begin the transaction as I always do.)

Me: “Hi, are you a [City] Zoo member?”

Kid: *in a snotty, better-than-you tone* “We don’t even LIVE here. We’re from New Hampshire.”

(Before I can respond, his mother takes the stuffed animal off the counter and turns to her son.)

Mother: “Do you think he knows that just by looking at you? He doesn’t know what state you’re from; he’s just doing his job. Apologize to him right now or I’m not buying you this.”

(The kid sheepishly looked down to the ground and mumbled an apology, to which I simply smile and said “That’s all right.” I finished the transaction without a hitch, but that one example of parenting gone right made my day. Lady, if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that if it were within my power to do so, I would have given you the 10% discount for that!)

(I work at a popular electronics retailer. We offer extended warranties that cover manufacturer defects and basic accidents. I am the only cashier on a busy Saturday and there is a constant steady line. An elderly woman comes up with printer ink and her own tablet.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I am well. I’m paying for this, but I have a question for you.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I try to ring out her item to keep the transaction moving, but she sets it out of my reach.)

Customer: “Okay, so I bought this tablet and I got the warranty, and they told me you guys will help me with any problem under the warranty.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, can you help me with this?”

(She sets the tablet on the counter and a game I don’t recognize is open.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get past this level? I asked your tablet people and they were too busy and didn’t know. You guys said you’d help me with ANY problem.”