(The company I work for usually has a staff Christmas event every year. Since I got into the role on a recommendation from my mother, who works in another department, our two departments decide to attend as one big group. It is only after I have paid my deposit that I find out that some lunatic in the events department thought it would be a good idea to arrange for the event to be held at a burlesque club. I find myself sitting between my boss (a woman in her fifties) and my mother. It became impossible to look anywhere without seeing exposed flesh. The evening in general sucks, the food is bland, and the drinks stupidly expensive. The next day we go back to work.)

Boss: “How did you find last night? Food was a bit bland, wasn’t it.”

Me: “You don’t want to ask me that or you will open the floodgates.”

Boss: “What? Everything okay?”

Me: “It was just horribly awkward, you know…”

Boss: “Why… oh…. OH… You, a 21 year old male, sat between your mother and your boss whilst girls in their underwear walked around half naked… I can imagine.”

Me: “You didn’t wonder why I spent all of the time there playing Angry Birds at my phone?”

Boss: “Well, I did think you were being quiet for you…”

(I never went to another staff event whilst I worked there… I am not risking that again!)

This story is part of the Christmas In The Workplace roundup!

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(It’s the week of Christmas, and everyone is in a pretty playful mood. Our manager has taken all of December off for a vacation, so when the mail room tries to deliver her a package, one of my coworkers has to explain that she is unavailable and takes it for her.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, wait! I think this is food!”

(Several people immediately poke their heads out of their cubicles at the sound of the word “food.”)

Coworker #2: “What kind?”

Coworker #1: “I think it’s a cake. It says ‘Perishable’ and ‘Keep refrigerated’. It’s a present from [Manager of Other Department].”

Coworker #3: “Well, [Manager]’s not here. She won’t be back in time to eat it. She wouldn’t want us to waste it, would she?”

Coworker #1: “I can see your point…”

Coworker #2: “So we’re gonna eat [Manager]’s cake?”

Coworker #3: “Hey, guys, come have some of [Manager]’s cake!”

(Coworker #1 opens the package, to reveal a large Italian-style cookie platter.)

Coworker #3: “Not cake… Disappointing, but acceptable.”

Coworker #1: *taking a cookie* “Thanks for leaving, [Manager]!”

Me: “This is the most excited we’ve been in the office all week.”

Me: *answering the phone* “Happy Holidays. Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “How many times a day do you have to say that? Do you have a script or something in front of you?”

Me: “No, no script.”

Caller: “So you just have that memorized?”

Me: “Yep.”

Caller: “Wow!”

(I have just arrived at work after being dumped by my boyfriend the previous night. I sit down and log on to my computer, but then just stare into space. A middle-aged man walks past my cubicle who I don’t recognize, but that is common since my company is very large. Note: the background of my computer monitor is a collage of John Lennon pictures that I made.)

Random Coworker: *points at my computer screen* “Hey, you like John Lennon?”

Me: *feeling crappy* “Yeah…”

Random Coworker: “Me, too. He’s the best. I have a few books about him.”

Me: “Cool.”

(Normally I would be gushing about John Lennon at this point, but I’m too upset. He walks down the hall and out of sight. I assume he is done. But ten minutes later…)

Random Coworker: *holds out book* “Here it is!”

(I page through the book. It’s a book of rare photographs of John Lennon.)

Me: “Oh, wow!”

Random Coworker: “I have another copy of this book at home. You can have this one, if you don’t already.”

Me: “Really? Thank you so much!”

Random Coworker: “You’re very welcome.”

(Thank you, random coworker! I have yet to see you around again, but you made a terrible day a little more bearable.)

(I am a manager. I run a team of volunteer workers together with my co-manager, who is male (I am female). We have a strong team who usually supports us through-and-through, and we love working with them, however, one of the new volunteers has taken a disliking to me, constantly second-guessing me, and is refusing to follow my instructions unless my male co-manager has repeated them to her. This eventually becomes too much for me to handle, since I have to fight to make her do anything without my co-manager telling her I indeed have the authority to tell her what to do. One day, I take her aside.)

Me: “Look, [Volunteer], I wanted to meet with you today to discuss our working relationship. It feels to me as you don’t have as much respect for me as a boss as you have for [Co-Manager], and it’s starting to trouble me quite a bit. I wanted to see if you agree with me that there is a problem and if you, in that case, have any ideas of how we best should solve the issue. Maybe I’ve done something that offended you – in that case, I would like to apologize.”

Volunteer: “What? Why the h*** are you calling me disrespectful? That is SO not true. This is ridiculous. Where is this even coming from?”

Me: “Well, it’s been going on for months. I’ve noticed these things…” *pointing to the different situations where she has treated me as I’m not her boss*

Volunteer: “This is bull-s***. That never happened. And if it did, it probably has to do with you being overly emotional and being incapable of handling constructive criticism.”

Me: “Well, we can take it from there. Could you please give me an example of where and when I’ve been too emotional?”

Volunteer: “No! I want to talk with [Co-Manager]!”

Me: “I can assure you that he supports me fully in this. We have discussed it several times. Other members of the team have also wondered about our relationship. It’s affecting our work.”

Volunteer: *yelling* “I DON’T HAVE TO SIT HERE AND TAKE THIS! I WANT TO TALK TO EVERYONE IN THE TEAM, NOW!”

(Said and done. We arrange a meeting with the staff and try to work past the problem. Every volunteer vouches for me, saying that they don’t understand why she’s behaving this way, and asking her to give an example of when I behaved like a bad manager. She gets more and more irate by the second.)

Volunteer: “This is complete bull-s***. My problem with [My Name] is that she can’t handle constructive criticism. She gets all defensive. I can’t work with someone like that.”

Volunteer #2: “With all due respect, simply saying that someone can’t handle criticism isn’t actually criticism. It’s just nonsense if you can’t back it up with something. You’re being irrational. [My Name] is committed to her work and a great manager.”

Volunteer: “I CAN’T HANDLE THIS! [MY NAME] IS SO UNPROFESSIONAL! I QUIT!”

(We were glad to let her go, but she stills swings by and tries to talk to my boss as well as our clients about how unsuitable I am as a manager. No one knows what her problem is.)