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Now Hiring: Paramarketers

, , | Right | January 7, 2010

(I work as a receptionist at my father’s company. I had a brother who passed away before I was born.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to speak to [Owner].”

Me: “All right, sir, what’s your name and purpose of your call?”

Customer: “Oh, he knows me. I’m his son.”

Me: “Michael? You’re alive!”

Customer: *click*

This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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I Deign That Spain Stays Mainly In The Brain

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2010

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. You don’t sound American. Where are you from?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “Oh, from Mexico.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “You’re from Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I’m Spanish. I’m from Spain.”

Customer: “Oh, do they still have that country?”

This story is part of our Spain-themed roundup!

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Read the Spain-themed roundup!

Unraveling Incognito

, , , | Right | November 11, 2009

Me: “This is [Office]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Where are you calling from?”

Me: “You’ve reached [Office]. How may help you?”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Why are you calling?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called me.”

Customer: “Yeah, somebody called me.”

Me: “All right, what is your name?”

Customer: “That ain’t none of your business!”

Me: “Ma’am, without your name, it is impossible for me to find out who called you.”

Customer: “THEN I GUESS YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!” *hangs up*

This story is part of our Identity Theft roundup!

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Taxing Faxing, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 4, 2009

Me: “This is [Office]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I was checking to see if you have received my fax.”

Me: “I am sorry, that has not been received.”

(I verify the fax number.)

Caller: “Well, I wrote on the cover letter to call me if you didn’t receive it. Why didn’t you call me?”

This story is part of the Old-Technology roundup!

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Read the Old-Technology roundup!

Zombie Management

, , , | Right | March 27, 2009

Me: *on the phone* “[Publishing Office], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Is Mr. [Name] in?”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mr. [Name] passed away last month.”

Caller: “Well, when is he coming back?!”