(I overheard this conversation as they were in the cube next to mine:)
Newer Coworker: “So the client kept telling me, after I asked for their payment, that I needed to contact the vendor to get the payment.”
Training Coworker: “Um, WE’RE the vendor…”
Me: *giggles silently* “Poor kid.”
(There are extra cupboards in our break-room where workers are allowed to stash snacks.)
Male Coworker: “Is it odd that every time I hear the word “unmentionables” I think of all the food that I have stashed in different areas of the office, and not of women’s lingerie?”
Me: *bursts out laughing, and walks away*
(Coworker #1 is leaving early to go to the dentist.)
Coworker #2: *to Coworker #1* “I heard you’re not supposed to brush your teeth first so that you know the hygienist did their job.”
Coworker #1: “Well, I’m getting a filling, so—”
Coworker #3: “So, is that also true when I’m going to the gynecologist?”
(My mother works as a civilian contractor on an Army base, and is able to land me a temporary data entry job on base as well. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and it often shows. I’m on break one day, roaming the halls with my head down when an older officer comes around the corner.)
Officer: *snapping at me* “CHIN UP! EYES FORWARD!”
(I yelped and obeyed, and we both laughed as we passed each other by. I started keeping my head up after that, and I can honestly say that is HAS helped me, no matter how minutely.)
Me: “Hello, [Company]. How can I help?”
Employee: “Hi, [My Name], it’s [Employee]. I’ve not been paid today.”
Me: “Well, I know I processed them all personally yesterday but let me check that.”
(I check the payroll system and bank. It’s definitely gone through to the same account we’ve paid him into for the last few months he’s worked for us.)
Me: “I’ve looked on our systems and everything seems to have gone through as normal. Are you sure nothing has gone out at your end that you’ve not known about?”
Employee: “No, I’ve checked and I’ve not been paid today.”
Me: “It’s all gone through here and I’ve not had anyone else ring in to say they’ve not been paid. Have you printed off a mini statement at the cash point to make sure the payment isn’t on there?”
Employee: “Well, I don’t need to. I’ve had my full statement come in the post this morning and today’s pay isn’t on there.”
Me: “You’re looking at a statement you got in the post today?”
Employee: “Yes.”
Me: “For a payment that went in your bank today?”
Employee: “Yes.”
(Silence.)
Me: “I’m sorry, [Employee], I’m sure that’s not how bank statements work when you get them in the post. It definitely won’t have today’s transactions on it and probably not even yesterday’s either. It should tell you somewhere on there what date your statement runs to and from.”
Employee: “Ah… right… no. You’re right. It doesn’t, does it?”
Me: “Nope.”
Employee: “Of course not. Sorry about that.”
Me: “No problem. Let me know if it hasn’t gone in when you check today’s transactions. Bye!”
(I didn’t hear from him that day so I’m guessing he found out that he had in fact been paid that day! He wasn’t in the slightest bit angry with me on the phone; he just wanted his pay to go in the bank. It did make me question the type of people we employ!)
