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Right Place, Wrong Attitude

, , , | Right | February 27, 2009

(I am the second-in-command at a social services agency. One day, our receptionist asks me to take a phone call from a person who is very upset about the way she is being treated, and wants to talk to the person in charge.)

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *angry* “Are you in charge there?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I am the most senior person here. What can I do for you?”

Caller: *yelling* “So you have a boss?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!”

Me: “My supervisor isn’t here right now. I have the authority to help you, ma’am, if you’ll just let me know what it is you need–”

Caller: “I REFUSE TO SPEAK TO ANYONE BUT YOUR SUPERVISOR! YOU ARE ALL USELESS!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, my supervisor isn’t here right now. I am in charge.”

Caller: “YOU ARE USELESS!” *hangs up*

Me: *to the receptionist* “Did she tell you anything about what she needed?”

Receptionist: “Yes, she said she needed to take anger management classes.”

Now Hiring: Omniscient Employees

, , | Right | February 23, 2009

Me: “Good morning, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi there! About a month ago you guys had a festival in the park, right?”

Me: “Yes, we did. It was excellent. Did you attend it?”

Caller: “No, I had just remembered seeing the ad for it in the newspaper.”

Me: “Okay. Well, that one is over but we will be having another Christmas festival in December.”

Caller: “That’s fantastic, but I was wondering… above your ad was an ad for a jewelry store. Do you remember?”

Me: “No, I don’t; I’m sorry. I just placed the ad. I didn’t really see it in the newspaper.”

Caller: “Well, it was for a jewelry store… I was wondering if you knew what store it was and if you have their number handy?”

Me: “Umm, no, I don’t. Maybe you can call the newspaper and find out?”

Caller: “Well, why don’t YOU have it?! It was above YOUR ad!”

Around The World…Eventually

, , , , , | Right | December 19, 2008

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I need directions.”

Me: “Ok, where are you right now?”

Caller: “Highway One.”

Me: “Are you heading north or south?”

Caller: “South.”

Me: “Okay, so after the highway turns away from the ocean…”

Caller: “Oh, I’m nowhere near the ocean.”

Me: “Wait, you’re heading south, right?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s what I just said!”

Me: “What city are you in?”

Caller: *names a city that’s about 30 miles south of where our place is*

Me: “Oh, that’s actually south of us.”

Caller: “I know that! Don’t talk to me like I’m a moron. I’m south of where you are, so I can only take the highway south to get to you!”

Me: “Well, then, we’ll see you here once you’ve circumnavigated the globe!”


This story is part of our 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About Lost Customers Who Are Terrible With Directions

 

Read the next Terrible At Geography roundup story!

Read the 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup!

A Bozo By Any Other Name

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2008

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

(The client looks at name on desk; my name’s Hattie.)

Client: “Your name is so stupid.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I can’t help that. It’s not so bad. ”

Client: “Your parents must really hate you.”

Me: “No, I’m sure they don’t. How can I help?”

Client: “I want to check my registration. Name’s Horace Gumptin.”

Me: *stifles giggle*

Client: “Are you laughing at me? Your name rhymes with fattie!”

Deranged Decades

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2008

(I used to work summers for my dad, who is a psychiatrist.)

Me: “Good morning, Dr. [Name]’s Office, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I need to make an appointment with Dr. [Name]. Can I speak with him?”

Me: “Sorry, he’s with a patient right now but if you give me your information, I’ll set up an appointment for you. Are you currently a patient of Dr. [Name]?”

Caller: “Yes, I was a guinea pig of his when he did lithium experiments on me back in the 1940s.”

Me: “Um… I think you got your dates wrong. Dr. [Name] wasn’t born at that time.”

Caller: “Oh, then in the 1950s. It was in the 1950s and he and the government were running secret experiments on me at that time.”

Me: “I doubt that, he would have just been a young child at that time.”

Caller: “Then it was the 1960s, d*** it! It was at the [Hospital] in Alberta in the 1960’s.”

Me: “Dr. [Name] has never practiced in Alberta. He wasn’t even living in Canada at that time.”

Caller: “Are you calling me a LIAR?”

Me: “Well, considering that Dr. [Name] is my dad, I think I’ll take my word over yours.”

Caller: “Well, then we can’t do business. No, we can’t do any business. Goodbye!” *hangs up*

Me: “Wow…”